Life Lessons Learned From A Woman Who Has Been Misunderstood
By: Samaria M. Colbert
So last I wrote I was in the mist of the greatest trial of my life. Honestly I know I should say something deep or spiritual but at this point but I choose to be transparent. This year so far started with such hope and with great excitement with the anticipation of what was to come. Yeah I too shouted at the beginning of this year over another prophetic promise that yes sorry to say still has yet to come to pass. If I can be honest and say so far the year 2011 has been the worse year of my entire life. It seems as though when you think you’re going to experience God’s greatest you experience the worst. It is only the end of June. There are six more months left in this year. It sounds so sad to be at the end of June and to only be counting the months till this year is over. Sorry folks I choose to be real not super saved, not fake.
Anyway so life has been hard. As bad as it may seem things generally are looking up. Yes the declaration that the Lord brought to my spirit was that it is over. It was confirmed in church. I have gotten to the place where I simply don’t believe what someone tells me just because they tell it to me. I have to hear from God for myself. Trust me from someone who has gone down this road before. I been there, done that and got the t-shirt. I have no capacity for foolishness and I simply don’t believe what someone else tells me lest I hear from God myself men and women of God confirm. Unfortunately I think that in the body of Christ we have gotten so pimped by false prophets and propheliers that church has become nothing more than a cheer leading, motivational teaching, hold on till tomorrow entity. Just push on people’s emotions and feed them baby food, be more concerned about numbers than growth and maturity and you’ll be fine.
So yes God spoke to my spirit and declared to me that it is over. It was confirmed and a new opportunity opened for me. It is so funny at the beginning of this year I was at a church where the man of God declared, “God was going to make you 1000 times better”. Of course I sewn my seed for the 1000 times better anointing. Ha ha. Be careful what you ask God for, you will get it. I am 1000 times better alright but if I knew what I had to go through to get to the 1000 times better trust me I wouldn’t have raised by hands in agreement and I surely wouldn’t have sewn my seed. I am fresh out of a trial; I haven’t gotten to the super saint status yet where I declare that if I had to do it over again I would. Truth be told I am 1000 times better but the past pain is still so fresh and the residue still there I can’t honestly say that. But I do know I am 1000 times better.
As stated before trials comes to make us strong. Storms as my pastor says are meant to let what’s in you that not supposed to be there die, not you. So honestly one of the reasons I am 1000 times better is because there are some things that have died in me that didn’t need to be there in the first place. It is a hard thing to be broken by God Himself but very necessary if you’re going to walk into you kingdom assignment. The storm is all a part of the process. And as I say the theme of my life work is understanding the process. I said it like a broken record if you don’t endure the process your will NEVER manifest the promise. I keep thinking about situations and people around me. It is ironic to me how saints have selective hearing when it comes to God. We expect to walk into our wealthy place with God haven’t not been obedient. We are like some of my clients who have been diagnosed with delusional disorder. We see things that are not there, believe things that are not so because we refuse to believe the truth. There are requirements associated with the blessing. If you promptly and disrespectfully don’t heed to the Holy Spirit and His warning you don’t qualify to be used by God. And my heart’s desire His to be used by God. So with every trial, with every tear that no one will ever truly understand is the processing and preparation for the promise. I glad I am through but I learned a tremendous amount.
One lesson I have come to appreciation is honesty. Those words sounds simple but believe me they are profound. I come to know that many saints would rather believe a lie than the truth. It is easier to perceive God to be like our personal Santa Clause then who He is. It is hard to understand that the same God who loves on you, and washed you from your sins and died so that we may live. It is a hard thing to understand that the same God who loves you will allow you to be broken. He will allow you to cry yourself to sleep at night. He will sit back and let people who are close to you hurt you and scandalize your name. He’ll do all that and not say a mumbling word. You can probably tell by my tone in this article that I am being brutally honest. I have matured. Honestly I would rather someone tell me the truth than to have my heart set up for a lie. Scripture says, the hope deferred makes the heart sick.
Don’t tell me this or that to play with my emotions. Don’t have my heart set on something that is based upon a lie. Eventually you do wake up. Another thing I heard at church was how, “a lot of saints are at odds with God”. I believe one reason is because we have prostituted the prophetic to be something that it is not. Remember a half-truth still equals a whole lie. Tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Let me help everyone who will ever read this post. You can have six guardian angels come to your door, sit at year feet and show you in an open vision that you are anointed. Your ability to manifest that prophetic promise will always be a choice you make to endure the process. Furthermore in the mist of the process it will be the greatest triumph and test of your life but when He is finished processing you then you will reap the reward and only then. So no as I always say just because you have promise doesn’t mean you will get to it. There were more Israelites that died in the wildness then who actually made it to the promise. So I’d rather someone correct me in love then someone to prophesy me right out of my divine assignment. And yes you can have people who prophesy to you what you want to hear, never hold you accountable and have you believing a lie. I have seen it happen so many times. Deception is a very power tool that the enemy uses but self-deception is the worst kind of deception you will ever come across. Sometimes you just need people in your life who will tell you the whole truth because they love you. It is better to have one good real friend than two thousand Facebook friends in your ear telling you what you want to hear. One of the main strategies of the enemy is disconnecting. He will disconnect you from people who are God ordained, and have you connect to the demonic sons of satan. Who deduce individuals to believe half-truth (lies) and consequently you never walking into your prophetic destiny. Trust me I have seen it happen first hand and it continues to happen. This is why the body of Christ must grow up. Be mature. Endure your process. Be obedient. When you have real spiritual maturity you have real discernment and people can’t just sell you a bill of goods. So what I learned is that I need honesty. I graduated past the falsies and the fakes. I really crave substance. I am no longer impressed by a hoop and a holler. In fact if you don’t yell, scream or hoop but you know how to teach something from the word than you are alright with me. The body of Christ must understand that there is more than one message then the “God is getting ready” message. I see so many people that can preach most folks under the table and every message no matter the title all boils down to “God is getting ready and if you want it give XYZ”. Honestly if my miracle is or is not right around the corner I desire God Himself. Besides one thing God spoke to me the other day is that “it will happen when you least expect it”. I stopped looking for miracles and answers for life’s problems. Through my trials I learned to rest in God. Trust me it is a lesson learned because when you are driven and want more than you have it is hard to rest in God and know that He is in control. But I learned it the hard way. I don’t care about what God is getting ready to do. I just know He is going to do it. I just want to rest in Him. Spend time doing nothing with Him and love on Him without expectation of a return. So honesty is always the best policy. It is better in the long run to live your life in truth than to live it believing a lie. Eventually you do wake up but where you started and what you believed will dictate how you feel. If you lived your life believing a lie it won’t manifest anyway and you will be devastated at the state of affairs of your life. But if you started out believing the truth you put yourself in position for true manifestation. So yes folk no more behind the pulpit lies. TELLS THE TRUTH
I have become more of women of substance. Once you have experienced the real truth it is hard to go back to processed foods. It’s just hard to swallow.
Another thing I learned is that it is okay to be misunderstood. Yes that’s right it is okay to be misunderstood. You may say uhhh what does that mean? Something about trials makes you think back over your life. It makes you remember people, circumstances and things you have been through. So I started thinking about some of my past failures and my past victories. I keep thinking over what I have accomplished and what I plan on accomplishing. I realized that it is perfectly okay to be misunderstood. Let me explain. All my life I have been the different spiritual girl who didn’t seem to fit in. I was always the odd ball out. I hated being different. When I look back over my life it was me being different that led me to say in my heart, “I don’t know where I am going but I know one thing I can’t stay hear.” You see people who are the most popular, the head of the clichés and the clubs I have found are really at a disadvantage. If you are never in an uncomfortable place you will never pursue something different. You never come to fully understand who you truly are because you have people to define you. But I am like a diamond in the ruff I am not what you think. I am more than meets the eye. I know this about myself because I have been misunderstood. It is in being misunderstood that you draw closer to God and He begins to tell you who you are and who you are not. You don’t have to believe me but people will make assumptions about you based upon where they want you to go. People will try and define you. It is when people don’t get you that you become begotten by God. Unfortunately again in my process of life there were people that I thought would come along side me and we’d run the race together but the truth of the matter is that they are no longer there. We are not running the race together. Sounds harsh but it’s all a part of the process. You have to let go of something’s to gain something’s. Moses couldn’t take Aaron into the glory no matter how close they were. He did however take Joshua. Hence when God’s disconnects you from an Aaron in your life He has already provided a Joshua. So being misunderstood causes the disconnection which causes the reconnection to something 1000 times better. You get my drift. When I look back over my accomplishments and where I am going I realize that I couldn’t stay in a comfortable place, I had to learn to be fearless, I had to learn to pursue but I had to learn the pain of being misunderstand which resulted in a disconnection. I don’t get sad or offended over disconnections anymore I realize they were all a part of the process. It is what it is. The truthful brutally honest nature in me choices to see it as it is.
The truth is that everyone is not on your level most don’t know it. What will be will be. In process you have to let go to gain. When I look back over my life my disconnections have always been hard but for my good. No love lost, but truth be told.
Another thing I learned is spiritual warfare. I won’t go into detail about that. Read my previous post entitled Weapons of War. One area of spiritual warfare that I am again confronted with was the spirit of fear and intimidation. I won’t go into detail but I learned to confront this spirit head on. The lord spoke to me a while ago and said you can’t be driven by fear either. So I learned that I am not defined by what people think or say about me. The spirit of fear cannot drive me away from the place God has me to be. Fear will cause one to run away. The opposite of fear is faith. I learned to rule with faith and not fear. I learned to stand confidently in who I am and in what I know. I have been through worst in the past. So someone who does not know me, and tries to wrongly intimidate me cannot because I am a winner and I know who I am. One thing someone told me a couple of weeks ago is “people can call you an orange all day long but when you know you’re an apple you don’t have to answer to it”. Through my trial I have been called things I am not, been told what I could and couldn’t do and I been mistreated. But one thing I know is that I am a child of God. I have great skills and I know who I am. Spiritual warfare causes one to stand firmly and aggressively declare who you are and what you will accept. I am the head and not the tail. I am above and not beneath. I excel in everything I put my mind to do. You say it to yourself, don’t let people try to define you or intimidate you. Don’t give your power to someone else. Remember the main strategy of the devil is fear. Don’t give your power over to the devil he is already defeated. The battlefield is always waged in your mind. So we must take control over every thought and bring it captive to God almighty. I could go on but I learned about the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. Above all else I learned to swim in the presence of God. For Him to surround me by His glory. To finally just know that He is here and that everything is okay. I learned to be content and to just be still surrounded by His love. The main lesson learned is to just be still and know.
Everything is okay when know that we are safe in His arms.
While at church the man of God prophesied that July 3, 2011 will be the half-way point. On July 3, 2011 we will be at the half way point of this year. I am believing that the second half of the year will be much better than the first. I won’t be naive as to think I know all of what God is going to do. The truth is I have not a clue. I do know that the second half will be much better than the first. It has been hard but the lesson learned has been invaluable.
There are so many life lessons I wouldn’t be able to finish but I will say I have gain so much more than I have lost. I realized having come through the trial that I am much further along than were I thought I was. The storm was for my perfecting. I believe God who brought me to it, brought me through it. He is still in control.
Know that whatever you go through it is for your good.
Isaiah 55: 8-11 (NKJV)
8. For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
9 “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
10 “ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
Remember regardless of the pain you feel don’t give up. The truth of the matter is where you settle is where you’ll stay. Remember Abraham’s father Terah was on his way to Canaan but he settled in Haran and that’s where he died. Where you settle is where you’ll stay and that’s where you die. You can’t die here. You CAN’T! Others have but you won’t die in your wilderness. Other people have settled for the wildness mentality. Their content with the wilderness. They have settled for mediocre but greatness is what He is after. He is calling you to greatness. Greatness does not happen absent from the breaking, the crushing of the potter’s wheel. We are a great people! We serve a great God! We are more than conquers and we will walk into His promise. We will be carriers of His glory. WE WILL!
Don’t give up you are meant to be misunderstood!
Samaria M. Colbert © 2011
Recommended: Listen to the song by Michael W. Smith Healing Rain/Let It Rain from the A New Hallelujah Deluxe Edition Album