How To Deal With A Hater
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Let’s be honest one of the things you will have to deal with as you are on your journey to success is hatred. There is a wonderful side to glowing up and becoming a success story. However the ugly side is that your success breeds jealousy, envy and strife from people you never thought. A hater is not the same as someone who doesn’t like you or doesn’t support you. We are living in a world where everyone thinks that because someone doesn’t purchase or participate in their product, service or seminar then they are hated. You may feel hurt about not being supported but that doesn’t mean you are hated. A hater is someone whose actions are motivated by jealousy and envy. They can’t just be jealous they have a motive and an agenda to bring you down. They want to destroy, kill, and steal your reputation, and pervert our influence. A hater doesn’t like you and wants everyone around you to feel the same way about you. We will look at the life of Nehemiah to discuss how to deal with a hater from a Biblical perspective. I am going to reference scripture I encourage you to read them on your own time. The first thing to know about a hater is that they can’t mind their own business. 1 Thessalonians 4:11 King James Version 11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; A hater is someone who has an unhealthy obsession with you. They can’t mind their own business because they are so busy minding yours. In scripture Nehemiah was a man motivated by a mission, a mandate, and a purpose. Principle 1: If you are motivated by a mission, a purpose and mandate that fact alone will trigger a hater. Principle 2: Haters observe you from a distance. They pretend they don’t like you, but they are constantly watching you on social media and otherwise to see what you are doing. Once a hater starts being disrespectful to your face, they are only revealing how they felt about you in secret. Don’t minimize dishonor it is a red flag and only reveals the true nature of the person. In Nehemiah’s case Sanballat, Geshem and Tobia talked in a scoffing like way, with deep hatred about Nehemiah’s pursuit. Reference Nehemiah 2:9 Other things to know about a hater: They are the ones doing all the talking. Haters always bring accusations against you. Haters always need reinforcements, meaning they need to persuade people to be on their side so, they spread lies, accusations and rumors about you behind your back. Reference Nehemiah 2:20 Your haters are very persistent. They keep going and are relentless in their pursuit against you. Don’t be intimidated or distracted just keep going. Your confidence must be in God’s opinion of you not man’s. Reference Nehemiah 4:1-4 (KJV) They will be even more infuriated that you keep going. They also will try and minimize your successes while speaking word curses over your vision, declaring that you won’t succeed. Keep pray and moving forward. They will try and intimidate your purpose and discourage you. Nehemiah 4:15 KJV According to Nehemiah 4:15 God will reveal to you the plot of your haters. Don’t respond in your flesh. God will also frustrate their plans According to Nehemiah 4:16-17, after God revealed the plots of the enemy the people of Israel executed a strategy to keep moving forward. And you guessed it the opposition continued In Nehemiah 6 They continued plotting. They tried to intimidate Nehemiah then provoke the people of Israel to sin. They used a false prophet, came up with false accusations and false rumors. Regardless of the enemies’ strategies against you I encourage you to do like Nehemiah and the people of Israel, just keep going. They eventually did run into victory and accomplished their goal. The best revenge is success. Remember God never promised us weapons wouldn’t form he said they wouldn’t prosper. Isaiah 54:17 King James Version17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. Keep going and don’t give up. You will win in the end © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Broken
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Broken means to be fractured, damaged, and hurt. When you are broken it cannot be easily resolved by a prayer and a praise. There are deep seated issues that must be resolved. A faith-based therapist can help with the process of resolving deep seated pain. Let’s be honest everyone has experienced brokenness in their life. If they say they have not they are lying to themselves. There is no one person that can judge or look down upon another person’s brokenness. Nevertheless, it is important to note that what happened to us in the past we cannot change. However, our healing is our responsibility. No woman and no man can heal you only God can. You also cannot build a healthy relationship, a business or an organization on the foundation of broken people. Again, our healing and wholeness is our responsibility to seek. Isaiah 53:6 King James Version 6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. Iniquity is grossly unfair treatment or behavior. Where does brokenness come from? In the beginning when Adam and Eve sinned, they ushered us into brokenness that all mankind consequently will experience. Brokenness comes from sin, abuse, trauma, rejection, death, sin, poor choices, history of unhealthy relationships and divorce. Principles that govern brokenness: Experiences create false narratives and replace faith with fear. Only God can heal your brokenness. He does use people such as therapist to help in the process but no one can person heal you. Remember to those are who fixers, you didn’t break it and you can’t fix it. We are taught as single women we should find a broken man to fix then marry. Remember a broken person and a healed person make two broken people who then have a broken relationship. Two broken people make a broken relationship not a whole one. God never gave Adam a broken woman. He also never gave Eve a broken man. Staying in a relationship with a broken person will eventually infect you and affect you. You will be robbed of your sense of self. Eventually it is a spirit that robs you of your identity in God, your anointing and your pursuit of purpose. God matches us in a unique assignment and purpose not our trauma bonds. Trauma bonds are when we are united based upon mutual pain and trauma, not God's purpose. Remember the world is in a proverbial state of brokenness. Signs someone is broken: Easily offended Controlling Manipulative Accusatory Perfectionist Pretenders (They don't connect with you for love, rather to use you.) Mother/father wounds Passive aggressive Performance driven Anxiety/Fear Not agreeable Argumentative Jealous Envy Strife Helplessness Mean spirited Learned helplessness Manipulative Needy Drama Form of godliness Predatorial (they observe you from a distance, shape shift (act) with the intention to use you. Gossip Inappropriate use of social media (they seek validation through social media, underhanded post meant to demean another) Codependency Going from one relationship to another relationship Materialistic A woman who gives you masculine energy A man who gives you feminine energy Doormat Disrespectful And the list goes on. What should you do if you are broken? Acknowledge it before the father. Get rid of codependent relationships. (I recommend the book; Codependent No More) Therapy We identified what happened? Identify the false narrative. What did you believe negatively about yourself as a result of your pain? Go through the process of unraveling, revealing and renewal. Repeat the process over and over again. Other things to know about healing from brokenness: You must fall in love with the word of God and meditate on it, until your thoughts, actions and behavior are a reflection of scripture and not your brokenness. You must be willing As you are already on your journey God will send corrective experiences. Corrective experiences don’t heal you, they are God’s vessel to show you a different narrative. Corrective experiences can be a person, place or situation. Corrective experiences don’t always have to be lifetime experiences or relationships. What if you know someone who is broken? Know you can’t fix it. Encourage them to go to therapy. Acknowledge your own history. I.E. Do you have a history of being a fixer, caretaker, counselor and therefore find yourself in one sided relationships? Set boundaries Determine proper placement. There are some people you have to let go of. Remember healing is the will of God. Let us all pursue it with everything we have. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert There is an old saying that goes “not having a plan is planning to fail.” One of the ways I have been able to accomplish so much is because I have been a strategic planner most of my life. I always knew that my choices dictated my destiny. I knew that no matter the prophetic promise over my life there was a part that I had to play as it relates to my purpose and destiny. Don’t get me wrong my life is not perfect, I am not perfect, and my life has not come without unexpected twist and turns. However, I can say being someone that partners with God has been the single most important strategy that has caused me to produce more than most have in a lifetime. That is not to brag but to be a testimonial of what happens when we collaborate with God. Anyone can be a strategic planner and yield results, however true to my work I will give you faith principles that govern kingdom success. Faith Principle #1 God has the plan. If we are going to be successful and guarantee results, we must understand the difference between God’s plan versus our plan. It is his plan that will prevail. Jeremiah 29:11 King James Version 11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Proverbs 19:21 New King James Version21 There are many plans in a man’s heart, Nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand. Prevail means to win, conquer, prove more powerful. How do we know that God’s plan for us will be successful? Faith principle # 2 God’s plan cannot lie, because He does not lie according to Numbers 23: 19, Titus 1:2, and Hebrews 6:18. Numbers 23:19 King James Version19 God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? Man can lie. Our emotions will, mind and heart can lie to us but God will never. How is his plan going to manifest. Faith principle # 3 After we seek God for His plan, He will respond. God will speak to you in a way that you can understand, and he is not going to ignite your fear, rather your faith. God speaks in a vision of the night, dream, audible voice, or unction in our spirit. Faith principle # 4 God does not reveal the totality of the promise all that the same time. He reveals what you can handle. Once God speaks write the vision down. 1 Corinthians 13:9 King James Version9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. Habakkuk 2:3 King James Version3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. Faith principle # 5 God has the plan; he also will reveal the way you should take. Way means method, road map, track, or path. You don’t get to follow your way to get to God’s plan. Remember it’s God’s way and God’s plan that we must choose to submit to. I have heard people say once God reveals his plan for your life, you do your own way, and keep going until he tells you to stop. NO! Proverbs 14:12 King James Version12 There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Isaiah 55:8-9 King James Version8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Clearly God is telling us that his way and our way are different. We must submit to his way to be successful. Your way your consequences, his way success is our reward. Your choice. It is normal for you to not always understand why God is taking you a certain way or not agree with the way. You still have a choice to submit to his way or not. If God says go then go, if he says stay then stay. If God gave you his plan, why would he not give you, his instructions? After God gives you his instructions write them down along with the plan he gave you. Remember God always promises results. Obedience to his plan and his process always pays off, it doesn’t take long for God to respond however it may not happen right away. You will also not see results right away. Obedience is our responsibility; timing belongs to God. There is always going to be a part you play and a part he plays. He will not do your part. Somethings are obvious, if God tells you, you are going to be a great cosmetologist you must study and get trained. Kobe Bryant says, he gives himself a contract and he doesn’t break the contract with himself. Final words of wisdom. You will always have haters, distracters and frenemies who don’t want you to succeed. Remember God gave you the plan, if he wanted or needed their support, he would have given it to them. Don’t try to convince anyone what God told you. Finally, “Seek to serve and you will discover greatness along the way.” Follow God’s plan. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Proper Placement
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Placement simply means to put something or someone in a particular place that is fitting. Placement is dependent upon your talent, skill, ability and need. As a warning placement of people in your life is NOT solely based on need. For example, let’s say you go to a restaurant and the service is slow due to not having enough cooks in the back. You don’t volunteer to cook there if you can’t boil water. Why because even though there is a need you are not qualified to address it. Proper placement of people in your life is vitally important to your success and can impact whether you succeed or fail. You can’t bring everyone and everything into your inner circle. Wrong placement can mean failure in every area of your life. Proper placement is a biblical principle dating back to the beginning of time. Whenever God instructed his people to build something he always used skilled people to accomplish the task. Principles that govern proper placement
Stay focused on your assignment, don’t get distracted. Reference Acts 6 for your life example and then properly place people. Acts 6:1-6 Living Bible 6 But with the believers multiplying rapidly, there were rumblings of discontent. Those who spoke only Greek complained that their widows were being discriminated against, that they were not being given as much food in the daily distribution as the widows who spoke Hebrew. 2 So the Twelve called a meeting of all the believers. “We should spend our time preaching, not administering a feeding program,” they said. 3 “Now look around among yourselves, dear brothers, and select seven men, wise and full of the Holy Spirit, who are well thought of by everyone; and we will put them in charge of this business. 4 Then we can spend our time in prayer, preaching, and teaching.” 5 This sounded reasonable to the whole assembly, and they elected the following: Stephen (a man unusually full of faith and the Holy Spirit), Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, Nicolaus of Antioch (a Gentile convert to the Jewish faith, who had become a Christian). 6 These seven were presented to the apostles, who prayed for them and laid their hands on them in blessing. Ten questions you need answered (both individually and organizationally) for proper placement *What is your (their) assignment, purpose, and destiny? *Where are you (they) in fulfilling them? *What is your (their) resume (spiritually and professionally) that qualifies you (them) for position in my life, organization and or ministry? *Where are you (they) in their healing journey? You cannot accomplish anything with someone with unhealed, broken wounds. *What is your (their) plan? Is it in alignment? Are we equally yoked? *What do you (they) value? Is it aligned? *What is your (their) skill set? * What stands out most about you (them)? How are they (you) uniquely a fit or not. * What are your (their) previous patterns? *What have you (they) accomplished up unto this point? *Who are you vs who you say you are? Who are they versus who they say they are? Remember if you have accomplished anything, you will come across people who want to align and impress you so they will hype themselves up to be what they are not or they will minimize huge frailties. You can’t build a relationship, a company a ministry on something you pretend to be. What’s your (their) plan for strategic growth? Is it in alignment? For Organizations: Consider using assessment tools to gage placement. Warning assessment tools only give you a start but shouldn’t be used as the sole deciding factor people change, evolve, and grow. Their value cannot fully be measured based upon a man-made assessment tool. Gallup strengths assessment Spiritual gifts survey (faith-based organizations) Meyers Briggs survey For individuals: What has your previous pain taught you about you and who, what needs to be properly placed in your life? I learned that I can’t do personal relationships with people who don’t have emotional, mental, or spiritual capacity if I am going to fulfill my kingdom assignment. I also can’t do relationships with people who are not driven by God’s purpose for their life. What has your pain taught you? © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Hidden In Plain Sight
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert There are times that God hides you to train, develop and prepare you for what he has already preordained for you. You have not been rejected you have been selected. It is the pattern of God to hide certain people to be used for greatness. Moses was hidden in the Pharaoh’s house. Esther’s identity and nationality was hidden from evil Hamon. David was outside tending sheep. He then went to be a harp player for the king he was called to replace. Jesus was hidden until his public ministry at 30. He tried to start his ministry at 12 but was not successful. Joseph was incarcerated before he was revealed. The common denominator is that they were all hidden in plain sight. Remember your being hidden is not permanent but to the glory and honor of God. Mark 4:22 New King James Version 22 For there is nothing hidden which will not be revealed, nor has anything been kept secret but that it should come to light. Ten Reasons Why God Hides You? According to James 1:2-4 James 1:2-4 New King James Version 2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces [a]patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be [b]perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
James 1:5 New King James Version5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 3. To produce patience in you James 1:12 New Living Translation12 God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. 4. To increase your faith. 1 Peter 1:6-7 New Living Translation6 So be truly glad.[a] There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 5. Because what you carry is not ordinary *Remember Hannah who produced a prophet who would anoint Kings. *Sarah who would birth a nation. *Esther who was chosen to save a nation. 6. God hides you from the enemy. Remember God always has a plan we can’t see, but he is not going to reveal the strategy to the enemy. There is always a ram in the bush. 7. Because you are the gift and what you carry is a gift. Remember a man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before great men according to Proverbs 18:16. The point is a gift that is going to be given to someone great, is prepared with great diligence in private to be present to the public. 8. Because you are chosen. 9. Because you are the deliverer. 10. Because you are someone’s replacement. Remember David was King Saul’s replacement. Esther was Vashti’ replacement. God replaces people who don’t really have his heart and don’t have capacity to carry the assignment. Finally remember the reason you are hidden in plain sight. Esther 4:13-14 New King James Version13 And Mordecai told them to answer Esther: “Do not think in your heart that you will escape in the king’s palace any more than all the other Jews. 14 For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” My final advice, remember stay humble, remain consistent, remain in integrity, and use wisdom when it comes to your transparency. God Bless © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Chaos, Confusion and Calamity inside of Me
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert According to I Corinthians 14:33 God is not the author of confusion. According to I Corinthians 14:40 it says let all things be done decently and in order. Chaos means complete disorder. Confusion means to be perplexed or without understanding. Calamity means events causing greater, sudden damage, distress, and disaster. The question we will answer today is that if God is not the author of confusion and he does things decently and in order, why do we experience chaos, confusion, and calamity. Here is your tough answer: God sent it or you caused it. Joel 2:25. New Living Translation 25 The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts.[a] It was I who sent this great destroying army against you. I know you are perplexed. Your probably thinking “wait a minute, if God is not the author of confusion how can he send confusion. Author means the creator or the originator of. God does not create confusion He will allow it to develop us into who he wants us to be. According to Deuteronomy 8, God sent the people of Israel to the wilderness to humble, test and substantiate their character. Deuteronomy 8:2 New Living Translation2 Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands. God uses the painful process to develop our character. It is a part of his training process. The other reason you caused it. How do you cause it? Wrong alignments, and disobedience. Reference Joshua 7:1-5 (The Living Bible) Joshua 7:12 Living Bible12 That is why the people of Israel are being defeated. That is why your men are running from their enemies—for they are cursed.[a] I will not stay with you any longer unless you completely rid yourselves of this sin. What should you do if you caused it? Get rid of dead relationships that God told you to leave. Get rid of habitual sin. Get rid of wrong mindsets and wrong habits. Stop trying to get God to bless what he never started. Who, what, do you need to let go of? Remember in your prayer time God will show you what you need to get rid of. What should you do if you didn’t cause it? Submit to the process. Remember there is a beginning, middle and end. You can get through this. In either case go to therapy © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Mistaken Beliefs
When your thoughts tell you lies and how to get free. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Proverbs 23:7 New King James Version 7 For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Romans 12:2 New King James Version2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Everything happens by the passageway of your mind. Your success, failure, health, wealth, perception, positive actions, or negative actions are dependent upon what you believe. The first sin began after satan put suggestions in Eve’s mind. Satan got in her head. Who has your ear matters this is why divine connections matter. Facts about mistaken beliefs: You’ll never access the promises of God with a wrong mindset. Spiritual warfare and attacks first come through your mind. What you choose to believe in your heart, and mind leads to actions. In the therapy world we call this CBT. Cognitions, thoughts, leads to behavior. If you believe your nothing your nothing and then you will do nothing. Satan’s greatest victory lies when he can get to your mind. Just because you think a thought doesn’t make it so. Apostle Michael Woods stated, “people will believe their thoughts about you to be true just because they think it.” Remember other people’s thoughts, feelings, or opinions about you don’t become your reality unless you allow it. No one can change your thoughts but you. You can never change how someone perceives you, it has to do with their confidence or insecurity. Where do false beliefs come from? Satan, childhood trauma, stress, rejection, and your false beliefs about your history. According to therapistaid.com They are learned, you are not born with them. Contradictory beliefs are often ignored. They feel true even though they are not. Also, they can be longstanding but they can change. How to get rid of false beliefs from a faith-based perspective? 1. Identify your false beliefs, (patterns of thinking that have impacted you) Example of false beliefs, “I am not smart, I am ugly, I am not …..) False belief’s cause you to believe a lesser version of yourself. 2. Confront those beliefs and then cast them down. (this is a repeated action you must do over and over again). 2 Corinthians 10:5 New King James Version 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, You must find scriptures that confront the lie. 3. Meditate on scripture. Joshua 1:8 New King James Version 8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you[a] shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Again, you must make this a repeated pattern, this must become a regular habit. Remember healing is not overnight, rather a process of repeated, intentional, ongoing, and regular action. 4. Go to therapy Therapy will help you explore underlying hurts, pains, and trauma. How do I know change has taken place? You will have more strength, peace, confidence, decrease in self-doubt, decrease in worry and anxiety and tangible success. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Divine Connections
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Divine Connections are coming! However, it is important to note that you can miss your divine connections because the person, place or thing is not who, what, when you expected. In this blog we will talk about divine connections. Scriptural examples of divine connections include, Ruth and Naomi, Elisha, Elijah, Adam and Eve, David and Johnathan. Trust me you want God connections in your life. Facts about Divine Connections: Divine connections are connections that can only be orchestrated by God himself. God sends divine connections based upon his purpose for our life. You will never be able to accomplish God’s purpose without people. The reason we need divine connections is because where God is taking you, you have never been before. God has to connect you with divine connections because he knows the strategic partners you need for the place, he is taking you. The reason you need to discern divine connections is because man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. Who we would choose and who God chooses is not the same. Remember God may send you to someone or he may send someone to you. 10 Facts About Divine Connections
Proverbs 27:17 New Living Translation 17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Stress, Burnout and Compassion Fatigue
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Stress, Burnout and Compassion fatigue is real. It is something we must overcome. Your life, purpose and physical health is very important. Stress is the feeling of being overwhelmed, overpowered and overdone. It is emotional, mental, physical, and psychological pressure. Stress can lead to high blood pressure, weight loss or gain, heart disease, seizures, strokes, and early death. Stress long term leads to burnout, which is mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion. When one gets to burnout, they experience loss, hopelessness, and despondency. Burnout is characterized by loss of motivation, and extreme depression. Burnout can lead to suicidal ideations, or the thought of wanting to die. Burnout can come after times of great challenge, or victory. Burnout is emotional, mental, physical, and psychological exhaustion. Compassion fatigue is also emotional, mental, physical, and psychological exhaustion; however, it comes because of doing the right thing for a long time. You will find that individuals who work in helping professions such as nurses, trauma therapist, medical doctors, spiritual leaders, and the like experience compassion fatigue. It is often experienced by those that help those that are emotionally, physically or mentally sick. They experience vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue. Causes: Long periods of pressure, turmoil, chaos with no seeming release. No self-care (repeated patterns of taking care of others with no or little regard for self) An unhealthy sense of self sacrifice. No help. Or having people who are present or either not skilled, not helpful or combination of both. Being the “strong one” that everyone depends on. Ongoing unhealthy, toxic relationships. Unresolved childhood trauma. Not delegating authority appropriately. Sudden changes such as we have experienced with this pandemic. Pushing past your capacity. Remember capacity is the limit by which something or a weight can be carried. For a scripture reference read I Kings 19. What we gain from the text is simple, even the most anointed can experience stress, burnout, and compassion fatigue. We must follow the text to gain insight on how to resolve it. Your refreshing will come when you get away. Go on a sabbatical. I recommend at least 30 days at minimum. However, there are some who need to realistically take more. Most people can’t afford that however if you can take 6 months to a year. Get to a quiet place. Remember you won’t be able to heal in the place the drains you. God won’t refuel you in the noise rather in the quiet place. It is in this place God will refill you, confirm your identity and give you instructions after he has strengthened you. You must commit to making lasting changes. When you don’t commit your efforts are meaningless. Rest Commit to resting regularly. Resting is not sleeping, it is a place of tranquility where you are doing nothing. Remember your body will naturally refuel itself when it rests. Reevaluate You must reevaluate your connections. Everyone shouldn’t have access to you. You need divine connections who are wells of living water. No one who is draining to you should have open and intimate access to you. Recommit Recommit to the assignment with new changes, new strength, and the new habits. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Let It Go
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert One of the most painful things that you will ever have to do is let it go. Let go of the relationship you thought was forever, let go of the path you thought God would take you on, let go of that family member who you love but know that continuing to help them is only hurting you. Life is full of loss, unexpected twist and turns, things that we never thought we’d experience. As painful as letting go is, it is one of the requirements of manifesting your prophetic promise. In today’s blog we will talk about 10 things you must let go of and the emotional process that happens as you let go.
Genesis 12:1 New Living Translation 12 The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. You will note in the text that Abraham took his nephew Lot with him. For reference Lot’s parents had passed away so Abraham acted as a surrogate father to Lot. At the time Abraham had no biological children of his own so it is safe to say Lot was like a son to him. However, after Lot was grown there was ongoing division between them. Abraham realized at some point he couldn’t keep rescuing Lot. Abraham had to make a decision to separate from Lot. Genesis 13:8-9 New King James Version8 So Abram said to Lot, “Please let there be no strife between you and me, and between my herdsmen and your herdsmen; for we are brethren. 9 Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me. If you take the left, then I will go to the right; or, if you go to the right, then I will go to the left.” It is not until after they separated did God reiterated the promise. There are some promises of God we won’t walk into until we let it go. 5. As in the case of Abraham, you will have to leave your loyalty behind. 6. Leave behind cultural expectations. 7. You will have to let go of those you care deeply about. You can’t take an old mindset into a new anointing.
You may experience pain, shock, grief. Kubler Ross identified five stages of grief. Denial Anger Bargaining with God. Depression Acceptance. Remember grief is not always over death, you can mourn many things. There is always a space between when you release it to when God introduces you to the new. You may not see the benefits of obedience right away. On the other side of letting go is tremendous blessing. Letting go is the process of dying to be raised in God’s glory. Mark 10:28-30 New Living Translation28 Then Peter began to speak up. “We’ve given up everything to follow you,” he said. 29 “Yes,” Jesus replied, “and I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News, 30 will receive now in return a hundred times as many houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property—along with persecution. And in the world to come that person will have eternal life. Do yourself a favor, no matter how painful it is LET IT GO. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Wisdom © Dr. Samaria M Colbert Wisdom is the mind of God released to man. God releases his wisdom to those he can trust with his thoughts, ideas, will and heart. Man’s wisdom is not the same as God’s wisdom. Man’s wisdom is based upon intellectual knowledge. Today we are only talking about God’s wisdom. 1 Corinthians 1:18-31 New King James Version 18 For the [a]message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written: “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, And bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.” 20 Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the [b]disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? 21 For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe. 22 For Jews request a sign, and Greeks seek after wisdom; 23 but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a [c]stumbling block and to the [d]Greeks foolishness, 24 but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. Glory Only in the Lord 26 For [e]you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many [f]noble, are called. 27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; 28 and the [g]base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, 29 that no flesh should glory in His presence. 30 But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption— 31 that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the Lord.” Facts about wisdom according to I Corinthians 1:18
1 Corinthians 2:5 New King James Version5 that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God. Your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in God. The wisdom of God motivates you. The wisdom of God reveals secrets, and mysteries to you. It is hidden in plain sight to those who are spiritually blind. Only those with God’s spirit in them can understand what God’s spirit is trying to convey to you through his spirit. The wisdom of God is God’s heart. His wisdom is the mind of God released to man. 10 Facts about God’s Wisdom Everyone doesn’t have God’s wisdom it is only for those who are led by the spirit. You have to desire the wisdom of God and be chosen for it. Matthew 13:11-13 New Living Translation 11 He replied, “You are permitted to understand the secrets[a] of the Kingdom of Heaven, but others are not. 12 To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them. 13 That is why I use these parables, For they look, but they don’t really see. They hear, but they don’t really listen or understand. God’s wisdom is a teacher. God’s wisdom is a discerner of motives. God’s wisdom helps you to understand complex matters and give simple explanations as you teach others. God’s wisdom releases wealth to us. God’s wisdom instructs, directs, gives divine strategy and helps us to produce supernatural results. The mark of a mature believer is God’s wisdom. Wisdom is a spiritual gift from God. You grow in God’s wisdom the more obedient you are. How do we get to God’s wisdom? Ask him. James 1:5 New Living Translation5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert The Accuser How To Heal When You Have Been False Accused (c) 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert I woke up to accusations and lies that spread about me from people who said they supported and loved me. I have found that your success doesn’t always trigger happy feelings in others. Sometimes it reveals the people who are secretly jealous of you. Imagine with me, one of your greatest victories is preceded by one of your greatest pains. Imagine accomplishing the world and then you are hung on the cross because you are innocent. Sounds familiar right? Matthew 27:18 New King James Version 18 For he knew that they had handed Him over because of envy. Imagine your greatest enemy was once your best friend. This pain was different for me because all the other challenges in my life felt like small matters in comparison to this one. My apologies in advance I will not be revealing exactly what happened. Me and Jesus know. The test of accusations is what we must pass, the specific life event is not necessary to our text. If you are looking for a good drama-filled, gossip session this book and I am not for you. I will never be messy. This season was different because my world was turned upside down and everyone or at least it felt like everyone turned against me. I cried out to God. “God, why are you allowing this to happen to me?” I remember telling God how I prayed to Him, sought His face, I paid my tithes, and have been faithful. God corrected me. He let me know that my assumptions about Him were wrong. I thought when God opened doors, we shout because a blessing was coming. I had no idea that God would lead me to the place of pain. God basically told me that sometimes He has to lead us through and too painful places before He releases new mantles in our lives. Let’s find the scripture to back up this statement. Matthew 4:1 4 Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. If you’re like me, you assume that being led by the spirit would simply mean a short walk into the blessings of God. However, scripture tells us that Jesus Himself was led by the Holy Spirit to be tempted (tested) by the devil. God does not always lead us to still waters, sometimes He leads us to a place of spiritual wilderness by the devil. The question you must be asking yourself is why? Why would God lead us into anything to be tested by the enemy? So glad you asked. Deuteronomy 8:2 New Living Translation 2 Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands. The most important reason why God allows us to be tested is to prepare us for the promise. A part of God’s testing is meant to do as Deuteronomy said to humble us, prove our character, and determine whether or not we will truly serve God. The test teaches us about the faithfulness of God. Let me be clear, the test is not so God finds out who we are, He already knows who we are. The test is to prove to us and show us who we are. It is easy to talk faith until it is time to have faith in the midst of uncertainty. Remember we have a real adversary who is satan. He is out to kill, steal and destroy us according to John 10:10. He is not going to fall asleep and passively allow us to advance God’s kingdom. God has the responsibility to prepare us for what He has called us to. The promise was never about the possessions it was about the positioning God desires for His people to have in the world. You will have to deal with false accusers, people coming against your ministry, your success, and your assignment. Your ability to succeed is dependent upon your ability to properly prepare. Preparing includes passing a series of tests. The test of accusations is one test you must pass. The thing about God’s kingdom is that if you don’t pass the test you don’t get to move forward, you get to take the test all over again. You either stay stuck or you repeat but you don’t move forward. Are you willing? Are you ready? You picked up this book because you or someone you love is in a season of accusations. My hope is this book will encourage you to pass every test including this one. As you can tell this book is not for carnal Christians who need their egos stroked. We are going to learn how to handle conflict and accusations from heaven’s perspective. If you’re looking for a book focused on pettiness, carnality, vindictiveness, and drama this is not for you. Before we move forward let’s explore scripture that indicates what we as believers will experience as it relates to accusations, tests, and trials. Don’t think it is strange when you go through tests and trials. 1 Peter 4:12-19 New Living Translation Suffering for Being a Christian 12 Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. 13 Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world. 14 If you are insulted because you bear the name of Christ, you will be blessed, for the glorious Spirit of God[a] rests upon you.[b] 15 If you suffer, however, it must not be for murder, stealing, making trouble, or prying into other people’s affairs. 16 But it is no shame to suffer for being a Christian. Praise God for the privilege of being called by his name! 17 For the time has come for judgment, and it must begin with God’s household. And if judgment begins with us, what terrible fate awaits those who have never obeyed God’s Good News? “If the righteous are barely saved, what will happen to godless sinners?”[c] 19 So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you. I don’t know about you but when I started going through the test of accusations the first thing I did was think it was strange. I asked God “why am I going through this.” Well, there you have it, you are not going through something strange. We are partaking in the suffering that Christ endured. This is a harsh word; it is not a word that will get you shouting. However, it is a word from the Lord. Hold your head up, don’t give up, you are not going through something someone before you hasn’t gone through. You are going through this because of your allegiance to God. Determine now not to give up. Rejoice Romans 5:3-5 New Living Translation 3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. God’s leadership development is not a six-week course on how to win and influence people to buy your products. God develops you into what He has called you to. Problems, trials, tribulations, accusations are all painful but what produces God’s glory in us. When we go through trials, we develop strength of character. Character is the strong, mental, emotional, spiritual, and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. The last thing we need is leaders without godly character. God is developing you into who He wants you to be. I pray you endure like a good soldier in the army of the lord. You will be hated but you must respond in love. John 15:18-27 New Living Translation 18 “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. 19 The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. 20 Do you remember what I told you? ‘A slave is not greater than the master.’ Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you. 21 They will do all this to you because of me, for they have rejected the one who sent me. 22 They would not be guilty if I had not come and spoken to them. But now they have no excuse for their sin. 23 Anyone who hates me also hates my Father. 24 If I hadn’t done such miraculous signs among them that no one else could do, they would not be guilty. But as it is, they have seen everything I did, yet they still hate me and my Father. 25 This fulfills what is written in their Scriptures[a]: ‘They hated me without cause.’ 26 “But I will send you the Advocate[b]—the Spirit of truth. He will come to you from the Father and will testify all about me. 27 And you must also testify about me because you have been with me from the beginning of my ministry. You know when someone hates you. I am not talking about carnal people who always claim to have haters. I am referring to when you experience hatred from people you tried to love. In my pain, I cried out to God. Hatred can be so potent that you feel it like venom going through your veins. When I cried out to God He responded, “They hated me too, without cause.” The point is not to get us to be overly concerned about haters but going back to I Peter 4 don’t think it’s strange when you’re hated. You’re hated because you don’t belong to this world. There are four things we should know about what God says about this world. 1. Be not conformed to this world. Romans 12:2 2. If the world hates you, it hated me first. (Jesus) John 15:18 3. For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten son. John 3:16 4. Love not the world nor the things of this world. 1 John 2:15-17 Remember Jesus died for the same world who hated Him. When people hate you respond in love. Although it may not feel like it you are blessed. Matthew 5:11-13 11 Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. 12 Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you Revile means to criticize in an abusive or angrily insulting manner. Most of us think we are blessed when we experience material wealth, prominence, or high accolades from man. We do not automatically assume that we are blessed when we are falsely accused. The feeling of being blessed is more than likely the last thing you think about when you are being falsely accused. Well, I am here to tell you, you are blessed. I encourage you to get that song Were Blessed by Fred Hammond and play it repeatedly until it gets in your spirit. The scripture in Matthew 5 was such an encouragement to me, let’s read it together in The Message translation. Matthew 5:10-12 The Message 10 “You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom. 11-12 “Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble. Notice The Message translation says they are speaking lies about you, to discredit God. Sometimes we take things personally when it is not about us, it’s about God. Remember God can and will defend Himself. Regardless of what it looks like no weapon formed against you will prosper. You will win. (C) 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Healthy Boundaries
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Your emotional, mental, spiritual, physical health is dependent on your ability to set boundaries. Remember everything in life has a system, purpose and an intended boundary. If you are clear about your purpose, it is equally important that you be clear about your boundaries, or you will not have the vitality to fulfill your purpose long term. A boundary is a limit, expectation, standard, values, and responsibility. A boundary is what is acceptable and unacceptable in words, actions or deeds. Boundaries lets us have a healthy work life balance. Without boundaries chaos is present. Without healthy boundaries stress ensues. Reasons people don’t set boundaries include: Fear of confrontation. Hero Syndrome, the need to rescue others from themselves. Being put in the caretaker role. Codependency. Avoidance of the feeling of guilt and shame. Culture expectations. Family expectations. The feeling of obligation. Emotional blackmail. The feeling of religious obligation. Dealing with individuals who are manipulative or use forgiveness as a manipulative tool. Toxic relationships. Low confidence or self-esteem. One day I asked God why I was being treated like that. He replied, “because you have always been responsible.” How to set boundaries? Professional Boundaries Remember you don’t wait until you meet a person to set boundaries. You set boundaries prior to meeting anyone. Your boundaries are predetermined and non-negotiable. You must be aware of your absolute deal breakers. Determine how others should treat you and how you want to be treated. You can also determine what areas you need to set boundaries in, based upon previous painful experiences that you learned from. You must separate your professional boundaries from your personal boundaries. For professional boundaries have hours that you are available. What are your STATED policies? For me I am not available 24/7. Take vacations and leave your work cell phone alone. Rest, eat, stay healthy. For other therapist make sure you adhere to your code of ethics. Personal Boundaries Who are the people that can hold space in your personal life? Determine who are the people that should have proximity to you versus those on the outside. For my personal boundaries I will no longer be taking care of grown people. I am a therapist but to my friends I am not their therapist. I keep my personal life off social media and only speak of my business, books or accomplishments. I am not friends with my clients. I have clear boundaries of who I will allow in my home. I don’t pay bills for grown people. Remember everyone should not have access to you. What are your boundaries in relationships? Social media boundaries: When posting on social media ask yourself, is it true? It is necessary? Is it inspiring? Is it kind? God is not telling you or anyone else to use social media to confront, correct, or compare. Boundaries cannot be assumed or implied, they must be clearly stated. Don’t assume common sense is not so common. If you are renegotiating boundaries remember you can anticipate negative feedback. Ghosting is not a way to set boundaries, it just shows you lack maturity, and the ability to communicate. Insecure people ghost, mature whole, healthy people have a conversation. No one should have to observe your non ability to communicate or use spiritual gifts to determine what your issue is. Remember lying and passive aggressiveness is a red flag. Finally, all healthy relationships, even interpersonal relationships have healthy boundaries. We all have limited capacity. You will never be able to be all things to all people. Capacity is the maximum amount that something can contain or produce. You are not without limits. Remember a boundary is not a wall. Best I wish you all the success in the world and healthy boundaries. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert |