BRoken

Broken
 
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert
 
Broken means to be fractured, damaged, and hurt. When you are broken it cannot be easily resolved by a prayer and a praise. There are deep seated issues that must be resolved. A faith-based therapist can help with the process of resolving deep seated pain.
 
Let’s be honest everyone has experienced brokenness in their life. If they say they have not they are lying to themselves. There is no one person that can judge or look down upon another person’s brokenness. Nevertheless, it is important to note that what happened to us in the past we cannot change. However, our healing is our responsibility. No woman and no man can heal you only God can. You also cannot build a healthy relationship, a business or an organization on the foundation of broken people. Again, our healing and wholeness is our responsibility to seek.
 
Isaiah 53:6 King James Version

6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
Iniquity is grossly unfair treatment or behavior.

Where does brokenness come from?

In the beginning when Adam and Eve sinned, they ushered us into brokenness that all mankind consequently will experience. Brokenness comes from sin, abuse, trauma, rejection, death, sin, poor choices, history of unhealthy relationships and divorce.
 
Principles that govern brokenness:

Experiences create false narratives and replace faith with fear.

Only God can heal your brokenness. He does use people such as therapist to help in the process but no one can person heal you. Remember to those are  who fixers, you didn’t break it and you can’t fix it.

We are taught as single women we should find a broken man to fix then marry. Remember a broken person and a healed person make two broken people who then have a broken relationship. Two broken people make a broken relationship not a whole one. God never gave Adam a broken woman. He also never gave Eve a broken man.

Staying in a relationship with a broken person will eventually infect you and affect you. You will be robbed of your sense of self. Eventually it is a spirit that robs you of your identity in God, your anointing and your pursuit of purpose.
God matches us in a unique assignment and purpose not our trauma bonds.
Trauma bonds are when we are united based upon mutual pain and trauma, not God's purpose.

Remember the world is in a proverbial state of brokenness.

Signs someone is broken:

Easily offended
Controlling
Manipulative
Accusatory
Perfectionist
Pretenders (They don't connect with you for love, rather to use you.)
Mother/father wounds
Passive aggressive
Performance driven
Anxiety/Fear
Not agreeable
Argumentative
Jealous
Envy
Strife
Helplessness
Mean spirited
Learned helplessness
Manipulative
Needy
Drama
Form of godliness
Predatorial (they observe you from a distance, shape shift (act) with the intention to use you. 
Gossip

Inappropriate use of social media (they seek validation through social media, underhanded post meant to demean another)

Codependency
Going from one relationship to another relationship
Materialistic
A woman who gives you masculine energy
A man who gives you feminine energy  
Doormat
Disrespectful
And the list goes on.

What should you do if you are broken?

Acknowledge it before the father.
Get rid of codependent relationships. (I recommend the book; Codependent No More)
Therapy
We identified what happened? Identify the false narrative. What did you believe negatively about yourself as a result of your pain? Go through the process of unraveling, revealing and renewal.

Repeat the process over and over again.
 
Other things to know about healing from brokenness:

You must fall in love with the word of God and meditate on it, until your thoughts, actions and behavior are a reflection of scripture and not your brokenness.

You must be willing

As you are already on your journey God will send corrective experiences. Corrective experiences don’t heal you, they are God’s vessel to show you a different narrative. Corrective experiences can be a person, place or situation. Corrective experiences don’t always have to be lifetime experiences or relationships.

What if you know someone who is broken?

Know you can’t fix it.
Encourage them to go to therapy.
Acknowledge your own history. I.E. Do you have a history of being a fixer, caretaker, counselor and therefore find yourself in one sided relationships?
Set boundaries
Determine proper placement.
There are some people you have to let go of.

Remember healing is the will of God. Let us all pursue it with everything we have.

© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert