What do you do when you are hated?
© 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert
Why are you hated?
Let’s be honest no one wants or enjoys being hated. We often see memes on social media about haters, quick clapbacks, motivational moments, tiktok messages all snarky, sarcastic responses to being hated. Hate is something that we will experience at some point in life. Many who have been hated have a “I don’t care attitude” about something they secretly care deeply about. Hate like betrayal can come from people you never expected. The difference is you can be hated for reasons that seem so trivial. Think about it why would anyone really hate someone else because of the color of their skin? It makes no sense.
Have you ever found yourself being hated and you had no clue why? What about when you were hated by people who said they love you? There is a right way to respond to being hated and a wrong way. As always, this blog is about healing. It is meant to give you a Biblical response to a hurtful problem of being hated. You can’t change how someone feels about you, you can change your response.
First let’s explore why you may find yourself being the focus of someone else’s hate.
Psalm 69:4 New Living Translation
4 Those who hate me without cause
outnumber the hairs on my head.
Many enemies try to destroy me with lies,
demanding that I give back what I didn’t steal.
According to the scripture in Psalms 69, you will be hated without a real reason, because of false accusations with no real merit or evidence. You are accused of stealing or being dishonest, when you did nothing wrong. Look at what David said again, his accusers are asking him to give back what he didn’t steal. You are hated because your enemies have chosen to believe lies about you. Keep reading it gets better. It can be hard to hear or read about such unfair things nonetheless there is a reward.
Psalm 97:10 New Living Translation
10 You who love the Lord, hate evil!
He protects the lives of his godly people
and rescues them from the power of the wicked.
According to the text in Psalm 97, you will be hated because you don’t participate or engage in what is considered evil. Remember misery loves company. They hate you because you won’t compromise to be like them.
Matthew 10:22 New Living Translation22 And all nations will hate you because you are my followers.[a] But everyone who endures to the end will be saved.
According to the scripture you are hated because you are true followers of Christ. You don’t belong to this world.
John 15:18-26 New Living TranslationThe World’s Hatred
18 “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. 19 The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. 20 Do you remember what I told you? ‘A slave is not greater than the master.’ Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you. 21 They will do all this to you because of me, for they have rejected the one who sent me. 22 They would not be guilty if I had not come and spoken to them. But now they have no excuse for their sin. 23 Anyone who hates me also hates my Father. 24 If I hadn’t done such miraculous signs among them that no one else could do, they would not be guilty. But as it is, they have seen everything I did, yet they still hate me and my Father. 25 This fulfills what is written in their Scriptures[a]: ‘They hated me without cause.’
26 “But I will send you the Advocate[b]—the Spirit of truth. He will come to you from the Father and will testify all about me.
You can’t get any clearer than John 15:18-26. You are hated because you are different, because you don’t belong, because of the God in you. Because the Holy Spirit down on the inside of you makes them feel guilty. You will be hated because you are innocent, and they are guilty. Remember truth doesn’t become a lie just because you don’t believe the truth. A lie doesn’t become the truth because you have chosen to believe a lie.
I know this is redundant, but I love how The Message Bible explains it. Let’s read that version.
John 15:18-27 The Message
Hated by the World
18-19 “If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me. If you lived on the world’s terms, the world would love you as one of its own. But since I picked you to live on God’s terms and no longer on the world’s terms, the world is going to hate you.
20 “When that happens, remember this: Servants don’t get better treatment than their masters. If they beat on me, they will certainly beat on you. If they did what I told them, they will do what you tell them.
21-25 “They are going to do all these things to you because of the way they treated me, because they don’t know the One who sent me. If I hadn’t come and told them all this in plain language, it wouldn’t be so bad. As it is, they have no excuse. Hate me, hate my Father—it’s all the same. If I hadn’t done what I have done among them, works no one has ever done, they wouldn’t be to blame. But they saw the God-signs and hated anyway, both me and my Father. Interesting—they have verified the truth of their own Scriptures where it is written, ‘They hated me for no good reason.’
26-27 “When the Friend I plan to send you from the Father comes—the Spirit of Truth issuing from the Father—he will confirm everything about me. You, too, from your side must give your confirming evidence, since you are in this with me from the start.”
Drops the microphone. We will talk about what to do later but based upon John 15:18-26 don’t take being hated personal, it’s not you it’s them.
John 7:7 New Living Translation
7 The world can’t hate you, but it does hate me because I accuse it of doing evil.
They are rightfully accused of doing evil because they did wrong. They hate being called out. Remember Jesus never brings false accusations to anyone, satan does that. If God calls you out, it’s because you actually did it. Notice the scripture, they don’t really hate you the person, they hate the God on the inside of you.
1 John 3:11-14 New Living Translation
11 This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12 We must not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and killed his brother. And why did he kill him? Because Cain had been doing what was evil, and his brother had been doing what was righteous. 13 So don’t be surprised, dear brothers and sisters,[a] if the world hates you.
14 If we love our brothers and sisters who are believers,[b] it proves that we have passed from death to life. But a person who has no love is still dead.
You are hated because you do what is right and your enemy is doing what is wrong. Notice who the enemy was, Cain was an enemy to his own brother Abel. Don’t be surprised where your hatred may come from. Sometimes it can be people in your own bloodline. They see your success and the favor of God on your life, and they hate you because of it. Read Genesis 37 on your own time. Joseph’s brothers hated him and scripture tells us they wouldn’t speak respectfully to him because of the hatred they had towards Joseph.
They hate you because of their own wicked or evil desires and imaginations.
It seems so unfair. You are hated for doing the right thing. Although hatred is never okay, we tend to empathize with people a little more if they hate because of a wrong done to them. But according to the scriptures those who are innocent and righteous will be hated. We can never control or change how someone feels about us no matter how much we try. So, what should you do? I am glad you asked, let’s discuss.
First be determined not to give up. The only way a hater wins, is if they can succeed at getting you so discouraged you give up. Determine that no matter how hurtful you will keep pushing.
Galatians 6:9 King James Version9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
Notice the scripture in Galatians says that you will reap a reward. The word is true, the criteria for reaping is determination and perseverance.
Be determined to endure. To endure means to suffer (something painful or difficult) patiently. It means to remain in existence; last.
Romans 5:1-5 New Living Translation
5 Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace[a] with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. 2 Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.
3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
Don’t match energies that’ll never work. Stay focused on the task ahead of you. A hater will try to distract you from your focus. Pretend like you can’t hear a word they are saying. They can’t stop you, so don’t let them distract.
Remember anyone who is hateful is first broken. Think about it. If you’re a good person, you live your life to the best of your ability why would anyone who is truly healthy hate you without a good reason? Carrying hate is like a cancer it is a poison in your system that only grows. Pray that they release their hate to receive the love of God. You can’t be full of hate and receive God’s love at the same time.
Matthew 5:44 King James Version
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
It’s hard to hate someone that you are praying for. I know it sounds counterintuitive but pray for them. Even if they don’t change your heart will heal. Plus, it creates an atmosphere for your success.
Remember weapons may form but they won’t prosper. Don’t allow a hater to cause you to live in fear. Reference my previous blog on intimidation.
Finally remember Jesus as our example. We can go to him, pray, seek guidance, and pour our hearts out to him because he understands. He endured hatred, persecution and being despised because of his love for us. Let him wipe your tears away.
Hebrews 12:2 New King James Version
2 looking unto Jesus, the [a]author and [b]finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Isaiah 53:3-5 Living Bible3 We despised him and rejected him—a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised, and we didn’t care.
4 Yet it was our grief he bore, our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, for his own sins! 5 But he was wounded and bruised for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace; he was lashed—and we were healed!
Be healed in Jesus
© 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert
Unresolved, undealt with fear will turn into a stronghold.
Fear is like a tree, it starts with a seed and will grow.
22 Signs You Struggle With The Spirit of Fear
1. Passive Aggressiveness-fear of confrontation, intimidation, misplacement. Rooted in mother/father wounds. Rooted in history of being in relationship with a person who was controlling, manipulating, someone with the spirit of Jezebel.
2. Panic attacks (feels like heart attacks). Your thoughts are constantly worried about a pending danger. Rooted in a history of loss.
4. Nightmares (sleeplessness) Dreams about snakes, spiders, blood. People chasing you. Flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, hyper vigilance, easily startled. Social indiscriminate. ANY HISTORY OF TRAUMA
5. Catastrophic thinking- you imagine the worst-case scenario.
6. Isolation (very secretive). Don’t speak up fear of what others will think of you.
7. Lack true spiritual authority and spiritual identity.
8. Pessimism (Christians call this discernment)
9. Unresolved emotional wounds.
10. Many fears (fear of open spaces, fear of heights, fear of insects, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of how people will perceive you, fear of public speaking)
11. Missed opportunities due to not taking the risk or operating in faith.
12. Lack of true authentic relationships (only around surface people.) People who are leaders but don’t have friend they only want to connect with people who they feel they can lead.
13. Difficulty waiting on God.
14. Difficulty trusting
15. Jumping to conclusions (making assumptions)
16. Feel inferior
17. Lack confidence
18. High blood pressure
19. Unbridle emotions, uncontrolled (easily irritated, have anger management issues)
20. Avoidance-avoid anything or anyone that may triggers your anxiety. (crowds, people etc)
21. Repeatedly apologizing
22. Not feeling safe. (emotionally, mentally or spiritually safe)
23. Distance from people, being guarded.
24. People that are broken, are most often attracted to other broken people. Some guys are only attracted to women with low self-esteem because it feeds their need to be needed. Your confidence as a woman or man of God causes someone who is fearful to be intimidated by you.
What To Do:
1. Acknowledge it. God won’t heal you from what you don’t acknowledge.
2. Remember it is a process. True deliverance from ANY fear is NOT an overnight thing. You are not going to be able to be completely healed just by going to the alter alone and getting someone to lay hands on you. Because fear is also rooted in the attack against the mind. So you have to use strategies from kingdom to learn a new way of thinking. Christian Cognitive Behavioral therapy is a great resource.
3. GO TO COUNSELING!!!!
Proverbs 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.
Proverbs 20:5 King James Version (KJV)5 Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.
Counselors will help you get to the root of the fear.
4. Meditate on the word of God. (reading, music etc)
Hebrews 4:12 (KJV)
12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
Joshua 1:8 King James Version (KJV)
8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.
5. You must have a relationship with the Holy Spirit. Benny Hinn’s book Good Morning Holy Spirit is a great starting place. The Holy Spirit release divine boldness, healing from fear and the power to overcome.
-knowing someone and having a relationship with them are two different things.
6. Pray the scriptures
2 Timothy 1:7
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
1 John 4:18
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Matthew 6:31-34 New King James Version (NKJV)
31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’
32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble
The Story of Two Wolvest
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Samaria M Colbert © 2018