 Today we will discuss how to deal with the holiday woes. Let’s be honest everyone does not experience holiday cheer. In fact, many people experience an increase in anxiety and depression during the holidays. We experience grief, loss and depression all throughout the year but it's something about the holidays that makes it feel worse. With the pandemic so many have lost loved ones. Often the holidays are a reminder that we will no longer see them again.
What is the holiday woes? A woe means a feeling of great sorrow, distress, sadness and unhappiness. Today we will discuss how to deal with three types of woes. Woes include trauma triggers, grief, and how to stay sober when you are triggered to use drugs or alcohol. What is a trigger? A trigger is anything that reminds of you of past painful experiences or events. According to Wikipedia. A trauma trigger is a psychological stimulus that prompts involuntary recall of a previous traumatic experience. The stimulus itself need not be frightening or traumatic and may be only indirectly or superficially reminiscent of an earlier traumatic incident, such as a scent or a piece of clothing. Wikipedia: The free encyclopedia. (2021, November 19). FL: Wikimedia Foundation, Inc. Retrieved November 19, 2021, from https://www.wikipedia.org Triggers can be persons, places, things, smells, memories. For those in recovery you want to be careful about your triggers during the holiday season. You want to maintain your sobriety. For those who are not familiar with substance use recovery, the term sobriety means to not use drugs or alcohol. Sometimes we refer to this as abstinence. The reason holidays can be a trigger to relapse is because often families use drinking and drugs to celebrate. Imagine going to your grandparents home for Thanksgiving and seeing your grandmother’s open bar and her welcoming arms. Maybe last year you would drink and smoke with your cousins, this year you just came for the food. Big difference. You think they won’t pressure you to use? If you say no, good luck. Most people would say, “heck yes.” What about seeing your favorite alcoholic drink there? Would you be tempted? Most times people excuse away behavior during the holidays that any other time would be unacceptable. Being drunk is pacified as “celebrating”. What about those who have experienced trauma? Imagine having to go back to the house you were abused in, to eat dinner. What about Uncle Willie who use to touch you when no one was looking. Ironically, he’s an invited guest to Big Mama’s house. No pun intended. Remember she is her son. Your pain is pushed under the rug, all in the name of a family gathering. I mean no harm and am not trying to rain on your parade. However, I am writing this as a therapist who must counsel my clients through these situations. The names are not real, and the stories I gave you are fictional, but the scenarios are what people really deal with in real life. What about the dysfunctional family you were raised in? You could avoid them all year, until the Holidays. There is Aunt Karen who likes to get loud and fight. Uncle Bobo who carries a switchblade “just in case.” There’s the jealous sister who despises your existence and Aunt Bookie who use to be Uncle Booby. She likes to gossip and ask you why you’re not married. You really want to be like Jesus and say, “where is your husband, I perceive in the spirit you have five husbands and the one you’re with is someone else’s” But the God on the inside of you won’t let you call it like it is. So, you prepare to smile, grin and gracefully respond. All the while cringing your teeth, holding your breath and praying “God get me out of here.” Let’s not forget, Uncle self-righteous who loves to pray but clearly has some difficulty with regular hygiene that no wants to tell him about. They don’t want to offend him, even though he is offending you and everyone else with the stench. What do you do when your family is dysfunctional? Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza doesn’t change their dysfunction. It means you feel like your forced to hang around people if you be honest you don’t really like. If you weren’t related to them, you’d never hang out with them. Let’s talk solutions. K
Matthew 5:4 NKJV 4 Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted. How can the Holy Spirit comfort what we are in denial about? Remember the Holy Spirit doesn’t condemn us when we mourn He comforts us. John 14:26 King James Version 26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, If possible, rethink holiday traditions. You don’t have to do it as it has always been done. Create a new tradition that is helpful for you. You don’t have to be around toxic people because it’s the holiday. For those who are in recovery from substance use or alcohol. Remember your recovery is also contingent upon people, places or things. If you know your family is a trigger for you to drink you don’t have to go. If you are obligated and must go, pray first. Remember temptation doesn’t have to draw you away. 1 Corinthians 10:13 New King James Version 13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to [a]bear it.
What about trauma? Remember the trauma is what happened, the feeling after it happens is fear.
Remember you don’t have to put up with dysfunctional family members who are demeaning, rude to you or condescending all in the name of celebrating a holiday. You don’t have to put up with rude behavior. Remember trauma and grief triggers can be anything. My grandmother Betty was the pillar of our family. She had her own catering business. She cooked every year for our family. The first year without her was the hardest. One of her favorite singers was Luther Vandross. This Christmas was a song she loved to hear him sing. One day I was going into a beauty supply store to get hair supplies and their goes Luther’s soft silky voice playing over the intercom. Imagine me in the beauty supply store getting ready to bawl my eyes out. If this happens to you or something similar, it’s not Luther or the hair, it’s a trigger for grief. Holiday music, movies and décor can be a trigger. Make sure you remind yourself, that you can get through this moment. You can see your therapist before and after the holidays. Be generous considering volunteering on that day. I am sure food banks and homeless shelters would love to see you. I don’t celebrate Christmas, for no reason it’s just not my thing. That doesn’t stop me from donating to toy drives each year. I believe God rewards generosity but don’t do it because of the reward do it because it’s in your heart. Lastly it’s okay to identify toxic behaviors. Wait…..Wait before you go full steam ahead. This is not the time to have conversations and process hurts from the past with your family. Trust me during the holidays it never ends well and creates drama they are more than likely not willing to address. What I mean is you must call a thing a thing. What are toxic behaviors in your family that you need to avoid? If you know when Aunt Bobo gets loud when she has been drinking and is ready to fight, that’s an unhealthy behavior. Once you are in a place of awareness you can plan ahead. You know when Aunt Bobo get’s loud it’s time to make your exit or ignore her. What about toxic behavior within yourself? If you know you are in recovery from a cussing, fighting spirit know your trigger. It could be that when Aunt Tryonisha wants to try your patience, you have to be aware of what steps to take. Wishful thinking won't do it. It is better to have a plan even if you never have to execute it, then to not have a plan at all. Remember the plan. I hope this helps. I tried to add a little humor in this blog. Either way it’s not to make light of a tough situation rather to give you perspective. Laughter is a healthy coping mechanism by the way. Consider bringing the funny movie as your new tradition. The point is it is perfectly okay even scriptural to protect your peace and honor your heart. You don’t have to feel obligated to be, do or spend time in places and spaces that doesn’t honor you or the God in you. In summary it all boils down to PROTECT YOUR PEACE. Proverbs 4:23 NIV 23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. I wish you a happy nontraditional Holiday. Love Dr. Samaria Dr. Samaria M Colbert © 2021
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An individual who is qualified to render mental health treatment is a licensed therapist. Therapist must have a graduate degree, and completed clinical hours towards licensure from a licensed board. Active therapist submit to their license board regularly. Credentials that are licensed to treatment mental health/emotional wounds include, LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) LCAS (Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist), PsyD (Psychologist) LCMH (Licensed Clinical Mental Health Professional), LPC (Licensed Professional Counselors. LMFT (Licensed Marriage Family Therapist Mental health coaches, are not certified, trained or licensed to work with individuals who have a mental health condition. No matter how much they want to. Christian Counselors: Can get "certified in six weeks for less." Remember all counseling is not mental health counseling. People that may want to consider getting "certified" are those in Christian professions that have a counseling component to it. (Example, pastors, apostles, prophets, ministers etc) Someone who has a certificate in Christian counseling ONLY is not qualified or properly trained to treatment mental illness. That does not mean they can't counsel others, it means they are not qualified/trained to treat mental illness. Other counseling persons that counsel but don't have a mental health background include: Licensed Pastoral Counselors, Licensed Clinical Christian Counselors, etc. Chaplain etc. I am a therapist who is a Christian. I have been fully licensed as a licensed therapist in the mental health field for over 10 years. I have worked in the mental health field for almost 16 years. Don't covet the position, just get properly trained. Schools that teach integration include: www.liberty.edu www.regent.edu Colorado Christian University www.CCU.edu Disclaimer I did not graduate from these schools. There are other schools as well. If you want to do Christian counseling, but don't have a desire to do mental health counseling. Consider getting a master's degree in Christian Counseling. Schools include: (This is not a public endorsement rather I am giving you information to make your own decision) Newburgh theological Seminary. However there are many I am letting you know about one) Master of Arts In Christian Counseling https://www.newburghseminary.com/mast.... They also have a doctoral program. Doctorate In Christian Counseling www.dts.edu https://cornerstonechristianuniversity.com/ https://www.sfbc.edu/master-of-arts-degrees/ https://bethelbiblecollegeandseminary.org/doctor-of-philosophy-in-christian-marriage-family-counseling/ https://www.gs.edu/academics/degrees/masters-programs/master-of-arts-in-christian-counseling/ NTS is not CACREP accredited. They are accredited. Accredited by Transworld Accrediting Commission International. World-Wide Accreditation Commission of Christian Education Institutions I am not against coaches, Christian counselors, (many of them reference my work). I am against individuals not actually trained or licensed who think it is okay to change the name, but try to treat individuals with mental health conditions or emotional wounds. The reasons why people do these things is because they covet the position but don't want to submit to the process of being properly trained. There are spirit-led, deliverance ministers who also are LICENSED mental health therapist. Be Well www.samariacolbert.com www.Kingdomcreativecounseling.com www.transformingchristianleaders.com Samaria's training program for licensed therapist. https://samaria-s-school.thinkific.com/ For someone who may want to know whether or not they are seeing a real therapist. Always ask the professional who you want to see about their license, how they obtained it, what their licensed number is. How long did it take them to obtain it? If they don't let you know the graduate program or the two/three year licensure process you are not seeing a licensed therapist. All mental health therapist licenses are public record. Dr. Samaria ****I DO NOT SUPPORT THE USE OF NON CLINICAL PROFESSIONALS TREATING INDIVIDUALS WITH MENTAL ILLNESS.****  I was having a discussion with someone I was working with many years ago. They said something to me that was very profound. So profound I will never forget it. They said, "One day I realized I was waiting on an apology I was never going to get, then I started my healing journey." The point is your healing is your own. You can heal, forgive, let go of the pain without ever receiving an apology from those who hurt you.
Remember Jesus never made the apology you are owed a prerequisite for your healing. There are those who will never admit their wrong, but you can still grow, love, forgive, be happy, be whole and healthy. You can't change what happened, you can decide to heal and move forward. You don't need ANYONE else's permission to heal. Someone else's opinion of you doesn't matter. Your healing is available to YOU. Let them be big mad, when you keep being happy, successful and at peace. It is then that you realize what they tried to do DIDN'T WORK AND WILL NOT WORK. Go ahead start your healing today. Pray, Allow Jesus in, then go to therapy.  The reason why people become jealous or envious of you is because they secretly believe you are not deserving of your success. They compare themselves to who you are and end up feeling insufficient/insecure. It has nothing to do with you rather something they must work out on their own with their therapist. Either way don't play small to make someone else feel big. Signs someone is jealous:
1. Don't Recognize that this is a spiritual battle and that no weapon that forms against you shall prosper. Isaiah 54:17 2. Distance You can't have a healthy relationship with someone who is jealous of you. It's like befriending a giant, deadly, poisonous snake. What are the odds you won't get bit? (slim to none) 3. Dismiss it. Remember what God says about you is what matters. If what they say isn't in line with what God's says dismiss it. 4. Remember God will respond. No we don't wish vengeance on our enemies but also remember vengeance and vindication is a righteous action God gives to His children. Read Psalms 35. Romans 12:19 King James Version 19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. 5. Remember it's a spiritual battle. You can't fight spiritual battles with fleshly weapons. Your enemies are being driven by an evil spirit Ephesians 6:12 King James Version 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 6. Don't become what they tried to do to you. If you allow it, their actions will only make you better, increase your success and push you into greater. Remember David responded wisely to Saul. (That's why he was able to take the throne despite the king's actions) It can either make you bitter or better but not both. You must choose the better. Reference: James 1:2-4 (NLT) 2 Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. 7. Forgive. Remember forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation. Haters, jealous people will come. But how you respond is up to you. When you respond as Christ would want you too, He gets the glory. 8. You don't have to respond. When Jesus was accused, He didn't respond even though there were multiple false witnesses who gathered to accuse Him. Reference Mark 15: 1-5 Book: The Accuser How To Heal When You Have Been False Accused. By: Dr. Samaria M Colbert (C) 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert   "I don't need a therapist because my best friend is a therapist, I'll just call her." Ummm facts. Here's the thing. Just because your friend is a therapist doesn't mean they are YOUR therapist. You need YOUR own therapist. In the same way you wouldn't assume because your friend is a primary care physician that they are your physician. We have professional boundaries we adhere to. Our professional license warns us against conflict of interest. Remember therapist provide more than just a listening ear. They provide treatment that includes completing an evaluation, treatment goals, and clinical interventions. You best friend providing a listening ear is not the same as mental health treatment although it may appear to be. Fact 2: Just because you meet a new person who is a therapist doesn't give you the green light to start self disclosing. We therapist don't particularly want to hear your issues when we are doing things outside of our office. I.e hanging out, grocery shopping, party etc....We have lives outside of our offices. Facts 3: We have to maintain our own emotional boundaries for our own sanity. Imagine seeing people for 8-12 hours straight. You just want to chill, have some good laughs with friends, eat some good food, maybe even have a good cry. You know debrief like everyone else. Then.....only to be pulled into another unofficial therapy session with your friends. Doesn't sound fun right?.....Trust me its not. Facts 4: When a therapist tells you, you need therapy they are NOT trying to insult you. Please respect your friend who is a therapist boundaries. They are not trying to be cold or indifferent to your situation. Sometimes our relationships outside of therapy may look different then you expect. We need our own space to renew, rejuvenate and get strength. Listening to our friends issues doesn't allow us to always hold space for that. The moral of the story is YOUR friend who is a therapist is NOT your therapist. We are not a resource for free therapy. Therapy still works though. Please get your own therapist it works. ###Therapyworks.  Check out Leah M Forney's interview with Dr. Samaria M Colbert on Faith and Mental Health. I had the pleasure of being interviewed for the podcast for Kingdom Driven Entrepreneur. Click the link below and make sure you follow their business and podcast to get updates and inspiration from entrepreneurs all around the country.
This blog is a conglomerate of over 10 years of writing. You will notice that the blog goes from oldest to newest. This was due to having to change the web host and that it didn't automatically transfer over correctly. I hope you don't mind. Be mindful that over the years, maturity and perfecting my writing gift there is a progression in skill. The earlier blogs are from a beginner writer, the newer ones are from an established writer. Enjoy.
 To heal or to be healed means to be brought back to a place of wholeness. It means to be at a state of equilibrium, to be cured, to be healthy again or to fix what has previously been broken. To recover means to be at a place where you are no longer controlled by the thing that once held you bound. Recovery could also be defined as a place of balance. For those of us who work in the mental health profession recovery means that the person is at a place where they are able to maintain happy healthy lives, be productive citizens within their families and communities. Coincidently, recovery and healing can be instant, although many times recovery and healing happen over time.
Scripture tells us that there is a time to heal. That means that there are times in our lives where we will be sad. There will be times where we experience hurts and pains. There will be times where we feel the comfort of love and times we feel the pain of disappointments or abandonment. No one can argue that they have never had feelings of being broken, abused and even forgotten. Truthfully, we all have. However, when considering what healing means it is important to note what real hurt means. Ever experience the death of someone you love, the abandonment of a lost dream or hope. Something you put your faith in that didn't come through. I have often thought that emotional pain is harder to deal with than physical pain. Think about if I accidentally bruise my arm, I can get bandaged up and proceed with my day. Emotionally hurt it takes a tole on all areas of our lives. Emotional hurt impacts how you interact with others, relationships, and your ability to trust. Emotional hurt can be debilitating at times and can keep us at a state of constant wariness. Many people live their lives trying fix what happened in there past. We are living today feeling the hurt of yesterday. I believe that all trials are a great gift that comes to make us strong. Think about it what did you learn? When I went through some of the most tumultuous times in my life I learned that I was really was a lot stronger than I thought I was. I learned that I had nothing to fear and that God really hadn't abandoned me. I learned to go after my goals with everything I had. I would have rather failed at trying something than to have sat around doing nothing for fear that I might fail. I learned that perception is everything and that if I thought myself to be a failure than everything else around me would be. If I thought I'd be successful and a winner, than I started seeing victory in all areas of my life. To say it is a time to heal means to make a proclamation to the past that it will no longer control my future and my destiny. It means I know what happened but I have had enough now and am ready to move on. To heal is a decision you make, like forgiveness is. It means to say I am tired of this mess in my yesterday trying to creep up in my today. To begin to heal means I am ready for a change. It is silly to keep doing the same thing expecting different results. You cannot change yesterday, tomorrow is never promised. Regardless of the situation this moment is the best moment to decide to live. It is up to you. God ultimately gives us the supernatural ability to forgive and to heal the broken places that we otherwise couldn't heal ourselves. Healing begins from the inside out not the outside in. Healing ultimately begins with you. © 2009 Samaria M. Colbert  Many of us who are driven to succeed must endure a process. We first begin with a vision. A vision is something you wish to accomplish, a goal, something you work towards with an expectation of reaching the end that you anticipated. Vision gives you a destination and road map to work towards. Think about it, most people don’t get into a car without having in mind where they want to go. You expect that when you start going somewhere you will get to where you had predestined to go. Therefore you have vision. A true vision comes from God. He has a purpose and a destiny for our lives, he begins to reveal to us that purpose by giving us a vision. One could argue that in some instances we can use the words vision and promise interchangeably.
God promises us that he will give us the desire’s of our hearts if we seek him. God has a promise for every one. God has a vision for everyone, it is what we were created to do. Nobody on this earth is created arbitrarily absent from a purpose or vision that God has for us to accomplish. If God did not have a purpose or destiny for you he simply would not allow you the opportunity to be placed on this earth. Everything created has a purpose and destiny to do while here on earth. The process is what happens between vision and the manifestation of the fulfillment of the promise. So it looks like this, VISION + PROCESS = PROMISE. They must happen within this order. You can’t have vision without a promise. You can’t have promise without a process. The process will be one of the hardest things that anyone will have to endure. Often times while in the process you have to walk alone. This is were God teaches us how to hear his voice and to tune out all distractions. While going through my undergrad, I would work part time behind a jewelry counter. I learned a lot about jewelry back then.The thing that I remember most about gold is that it most be purified. Gold naturally has impurities in it, most people don’t want jewelry with blemishes in it. We all want the most perfect piece of jewelry that our money can afford. Gold is purified by having it reduced down to a liquid form. It is then placed into the fire, it is while in the fire that the impurities rise to the top, the merchant then wipes the impurities away, and then the gold is placed back into the fire. This process is repeated several times until the merchant gets the gold to the consistency that he/she wants. Ironically, the less the impurities in the gold, the more expensive it tends to be. I used the process of purification to symbolize God’s process, we are his precious jewels. We belong to him, he must take us through the purification process. Everyone has impurities in them. It is in God’s process that our characters, integrity and intentions are made Holy before him. This is were he takes away the pains of our past, and where we learn to forgive. The process is one of the hardest and most arduous things we will every have to endure. The process is not easy. The process is what prepares you for His glory. Please note that things that you have attained but not been processed into will eventually kill you. Instead of being a blessing, it will become a curse. God loves us enough that he has to prepare us for His glory. There are many people that will never do what they were created for because they don’t want to endure the process or they get discouraged. The process is not easy, but well worth it in the end. So for those of US, who are in the process, don’t give up. Keep encouraged. There is a purpose for your pain. © 2009 Samaria M. Colbert This article is hard for me to write because it is here where I most really expose myself. I must be vulnerable in a way that I do not wish to be. Recently I had been praying and seeking the face of God about his destiny and purpose for my life. I already know it, but I most confess that sometimes it feels as though the process is taking much to long. God first began to speak to me a little over 10 years ago about the purpose that he has for my life. He began to show me being a great women of God. I was ministering very powerfully under the anointing to thousands of people all over the world. Of course I originally didn't believe it. I have always been very quiet and kept for all of my life. So even though the visions were very powerful I didn't believe it. After several years of seeking God and confirmation I finally believed what God had spoken to me. I have gone through many things since that time, had many ups and downs but I understood that this was all apart of the process. So honestly I was just asking God why hasn't my promise gotten here yet? It appears as if nothing is happening in the area of my ministry. I am a woman who loves God, I live in holiness. I am by no means perfect, but I truly love the Lord with all of my heart. I have had to give up everything for the cost of being obedient to his will and way. I have had to experience much rejection and have learned to be alone to be able to hear his voice. So at this point I am like God okay, what is going on here. Again after I pray, I feel the presence of God, I know that God has heard me and I drift off to sleep. Again God speaks to me in a vision, as he often speaks to me in visions and dreams. He says "She has many fears". In the vision it was as if God was telling someone else she has many fears. Have you ever been in a good counseling session or had a "ah ah" moment? Well this was one of those moments. I remember something deep from the pit of my heart knowing that this is true. Isn't it amazing how God will reveal things to you about yourself that you know, but don't know? I thought I was over my fears. God will reveal those things that are so hidden they are even hidden from our own selves, but not from others around us. I know God was telling me that it was my own fears that has held me back. I began to think of the root of my fears, where they came from. I thought back to my early childhood. I grew up in church, but I have survived being abused, hurt, and being broken. I experienced people who were supposed to be close to me telling me I would never amount to anything. I have experienced rejection from my own family, my school mates, church mates and from people that you would think should love you the most. No matter where I have been I have never been accepted. I am not bitter and have forgiven but I simply wish to tell my story. I use to think that there was something wrong with me because no matter what I did I could not seem to be accepted. Eventually as I started cultivating my relationship with Christ he began to tell me who I was and the purpose he had for me. As said early although I initially didn't believe it do to those fears I came to accept that I was the head and not the tail. I am above and not beneath and this was God. I have since grown into a strong, confident women so it was to my shock and aw that God would tell me that my fears are what's holding me back after I thought I was done with them. Since God told me about myself, this is hard but I most confess. It has been fear that has led to my delay. It was fear of being hurt that has kept me from establishing relationships. It is hard to trust someone you don't know, when the people that are supposed to love you the most reject you. It was fear that led me to build up walls from me and the outside world. It was the fear of failure that has led me to not fully believe in myself. It was fear that contributed to my own low self esteem and self worth. It was fear that made me not speak, knowing I have a voice and that voice has something to say. It was fear that has led to me to build up defenses. It was fear that has kept me in a defeated position instead of a position of power. It was fear that contributed to my defense mechanisms. It was fear that kept me in my comfort zone. It was fear that kept me in the back of the line, knowing I was supposed to be up front. It was fear of rejection even though rejection is what I know that has kept me bound. It was fear, it was all fear. FEAR, FEAR, FEAR, FFFFFEEEAAAARRRRR. That's it I said it, I have spent most of if not all of my life afraid! So when God spoke to me I knew it was him. I knew The good news is when God reveals to you something about yourself, he intends to bring it to the surface in order to remove whatever it is. I understood there was a purpose for my rejection, which is why I can't be angry, or mad at anyone. Mark 6:4 (NKJV) 4. But Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house". John 1: 10, 11 (NKJV) 10. He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. 11. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. Isaiah 53: 3 (NKJV) 3. He is despised and rejected by men. A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him. Luke 17: 25 (NKJV) 25. But first He must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation. Acts 7: 35 "This Moses who they rejected".. So no my or your rejection was and is not in my mind. It was real. Jesus went through significant rejection while here on earth. The good news is my prayer since God revealed this to me was "Lord I know that what I had to go through was for your glory. However it was when I didn't know the purpose of my rejection that fear was given precedent in my heart and mind. I know longer want fear to hold me back, so if you please remove it." I looked up some scriptures that I could find regarding weakness and fear. I Corinthians 2: 3 (NKJV) 3. I was with you in weakness, in fear and much trembling. Even Paul this great man of God said "I first started out being afraid". He went on to be what I believe to be the most prolific and profound writer, speaker, apostle, scholar that ever lived. Jeremiah 1: 7 (NKJV) 6. Then said I: "Ah, Lord GOD! Behold I cannot speak" Jeremiah ended up being a great prophet, who spoke very powerfully the words of God. He spoke so powerfully we are still talking about him today. First he was afraid, and told God his weaknesses, one being he thought he could not speak. Exodus 2: 14 (NKJV) 14. "..So Moses feared".. Moses became so afraid, that he ran off to the wildness. In Exodus 4:10-12 Moses admits to God after having the burning bush experience that he had a speech problem. It commonly believed that Moses had a stuttering problem, which he openly admitted to God. Moses was so afraid that God had to send his brother Aaron to go with him. However, Acts 22 reports that Moses was mightily in words. He ended up not needing his brother to speak for him after all, even though his brother did assist him in other ways. Moses ended being the greatest leader that ever lived, but he started off being afraid. I Corinthians 8: 15 15. For you did not receive the spirit of fear... One of my professors once told us, that it is not where you start that matters. The point is our weakness are not his. So I realized that God had given me an anointing and he had every intention to use me. He would rid me of fear. So I prayed that fear and doubt would be removed and Holy boldness would be replaced by it. If he did it for those in the bible he could do it for you and I. Fear is a spirit that most be rebuked. So I prayed. Every since then I started seeing victory. I feel the bounds of the spirit of fear being broken off of my life. I am starting to see myself in boldness, in a way that I have never. I see myself the head and not the tale. I see myself reaching my purpose very soon. I just feel victory. So I am writing this article in victory not defeat. It is in not in any way meant to be another sad story to make you cry. It is a new day. I am thinking differently and have a can do attitude. PRAY pray that the spirit of fear and bitterness be broken off of your life. I could care less about whether I am accepted or not. What difference does it really make? I am a true witness it is not worth it. Forgive; people only do what they know, sometimes what they know is simply not enough. So just let it go. I am moving forward and so are you. If this article has touched you in a special way repeat this pray with me. Prayer: I asked for your forgiveness of letting fear, unbelief and doubt dictate and delay my life. I realize that when I allow fear to guide me it is only a sign that I really don't trust you, nor do I believe the words that you spoken over my life. I am sorry Lord for calling you a liar in my heart. Forgive me. I renounce the spirit of fear. I forgive the people that have hurt me. Now Holy Spirit let the spirit of boldness come into me now. I thank you for it. Amen Acts 4: 31 (NKJV) 31. And when they had prayed, the place were they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness. Samaria M. Colbert © 2009 This article is hard for me to write because it is here where I most really expose myself. I must be vulnerable in a way that I do not wish to be. Recently I had been praying and seeking the face of God about his destiny and purpose for my life. I already know it, but I most confess that sometimes it feels as though the process is taking much to long. God first began to speak to me a little over 10 years ago about the purpose that he has for my life. He began to show me being a great women of God. I was ministering very powerfully under the anointing to thousands of people all over the world. Of course I originally didn't believe it. I have always been very quiet and kept for all of my life. So even though the visions were very powerful I didn't believe it. After several years of seeking God and confirmation I finally believed what God had spoken to me. I have gone through many things since that time, had many ups and downs but I understood that this was all apart of the process. So honestly I was just asking God why hasn't my promise gotten here yet? It appears as if nothing is happening in the area of my ministry. I am a woman who loves God, I live in holiness. I am by no means perfect, but I truly love the Lord with all of my heart. I have had to give up everything for the cost of being obedient to his will and way. I have had to experience much rejection and have learned to be alone to be able to hear his voice. So at this point I am like God okay, what is going on here. Again after I pray, I feel the presence of God, I know that God has heard me and I drift off to sleep. Again God speaks to me in a vision, as he often speaks to me in visions and dreams. He says "She has many fears". In the vision it was as if God was telling someone else she has many fears. Have you ever been in a good counseling session or had a "ah ah" moment? Well this was one of those moments. I remember something deep from the pit of my heart knowing that this is true. Isn't it amazing how God will reveal things to you about yourself that you know, but don't know? I thought I was over my fears. God will reveal those things that are so hidden they are even hidden from our own selves, but not from others around us. I know God was telling me that it was my own fears that has held me back. I began to think of the root of my fears, where they came from. I thought back to my early childhood. I grew up in church, but I have survived being abused, hurt, and being broken. I experienced people who were supposed to be close to me telling me I would never amount to anything. I have experienced rejection from my own family, my school mates, church mates and from people that you would think should love you the most. No matter where I have been I have never been accepted. I am not bitter and have forgiven but I simply wish to tell my story. I use to think that there was something wrong with me because no matter what I did I could not seem to be accepted. Eventually as I started cultivating my relationship with Christ he began to tell me who I was and the purpose he had for me. As said early although I initially didn't believe it do to those fears I came to accept that I was the head and not the tail. I am above and not beneath and this was God. I have since grown into a strong, confident women so it was to my shock and aw that God would tell me that my fears are what's holding me back after I thought I was done with them. Since God told me about myself, this is hard but I most confess. It has been fear that has led to my delay. It was fear of being hurt that has kept me from establishing relationships. It is hard to trust someone you don't know, when the people that are supposed to love you the most reject you. It was fear that led me to build up walls from me and the outside world. It was the fear of failure that has led me to not fully believe in myself. It was fear that contributed to my own low self esteem and self worth. It was fear that made me not speak, knowing I have a voice and that voice has something to say. It was fear that has led to me to build up defenses. It was fear that has kept me in a defeated position instead of a position of power. It was fear that contributed to my defense mechanisms. It was fear that kept me in my comfort zone. It was fear that kept me in the back of the line, knowing I was supposed to be up front. It was fear of rejection even though rejection is what I know that has kept me bound. It was fear, it was all fear. FEAR, FEAR, FEAR, FFFFFEEEAAAARRRRR. That's it I said it, I have spent most of if not all of my life afraid! So when God spoke to me I knew it was him. I knew The good news is when God reveals to you something about yourself, he intends to bring it to the surface in order to remove whatever it is. I understood there was a purpose for my rejection, which is why I can't be angry, or mad at anyone. Mark 6:4 (NKJV) 4. But Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house". John 1: 10, 11 (NKJV) 10. He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. 11. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. Isaiah 53: 3 (NKJV) 3. He is despised and rejected by men. A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him. Luke 17: 25 (NKJV) 25. But first He must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation. Acts 7: 35 "This Moses who they rejected".. So no my or your rejection was and is not in my mind. It was real. Jesus went through significant rejection while here on earth. The good news is my prayer since God revealed this to me was "Lord I know that what I had to go through was for your glory. However it was when I didn't know the purpose of my rejection that fear was given precedent in my heart and mind. I know longer want fear to hold me back, so if you please remove it." I looked up some scriptures that I could find regarding weakness and fear. I Corinthians 2: 3 (NKJV) 3. I was with you in weakness, in fear and much trembling. Even Paul this great man of God said "I first started out being afraid". He went on to be what I believe to be the most prolific and profound writer, speaker, apostle, scholar that ever lived. Jeremiah 1: 7 (NKJV) 6. Then said I: "Ah, Lord GOD! Behold I cannot speak" Jeremiah ended up being a great prophet, who spoke very powerfully the words of God. He spoke so powerfully we are still talking about him today. First he was afraid, and told God his weaknesses, one being he thought he could not speak. Exodus 2: 14 (NKJV) 14. "..So Moses feared".. Moses became so afraid, that he ran off to the wildness. In Exodus 4:10-12 Moses admits to God after having the burning bush experience that he had a speech problem. It commonly believed that Moses had a stuttering problem, which he openly admitted to God. Moses was so afraid that God had to send his brother Aaron to go with him. However, Acts 22 reports that Moses was mightily in words. He ended up not needing his brother to speak for him after all, even though his brother did assist him in other ways. Moses ended being the greatest leader that ever lived, but he started off being afraid. I Corinthians 8: 15 15. For you did not receive the spirit of fear... One of my professors once told us, that it is not where you start that matters. The point is our weakness are not his. So I realized that God had given me an anointing and he had every intention to use me. He would rid me of fear. So I prayed that fear and doubt would be removed and Holy boldness would be replaced by it. If he did it for those in the bible he could do it for you and I. Fear is a spirit that most be rebuked. So I prayed. Every since then I started seeing victory. I feel the bounds of the spirit of fear being broken off of my life. I am starting to see myself in boldness, in a way that I have never. I see myself the head and not the tale. I see myself reaching my purpose very soon. I just feel victory. So I am writing this article in victory not defeat. It is in not in any way meant to be another sad story to make you cry. It is a new day. I am thinking differently and have a can do attitude. PRAY pray that the spirit of fear and bitterness be broken off of your life. I could care less about whether I am accepted or not. What difference does it really make? I am a true witness it is not worth it. Forgive; people only do what they know, sometimes what they know is simply not enough. So just let it go. I am moving forward and so are you. If this article has touched you in a special way repeat this pray with me. Prayer: I asked for your forgiveness of letting fear, unbelief and doubt dictate and delay my life. I realize that when I allow fear to guide me it is only a sign that I really don't trust you, nor do I believe the words that you spoken over my life. I am sorry Lord for calling you a liar in my heart. Forgive me. I renounce the spirit of fear. I forgive the people that have hurt me. Now Holy Spirit let the spirit of boldness come into me now. I thank you for it. Amen Acts 4: 31 (NKJV) 31. And when they had prayed, the place were they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness. God Bless, I Love You Samaria M. Colbert © 2009 This article is hard for me to write because it is here where I most really expose myself. I must be vulnerable in a way that I do not wish to be. Recently I had been praying and seeking the face of God about his destiny and purpose for my life. I already know it, but I most confess that sometimes it feels as though the process is taking much to long. God first began to speak to me a little over 10 years ago about the purpose that he has for my life. He began to show me being a great women of God. I was ministering very powerfully under the anointing to thousands of people all over the world. Of course I originally didn't believe it. I have always been very quiet and kept for all of my life. So even though the visions were very powerful I didn't believe it. After several years of seeking God and confirmation I finally believed what God had spoken to me. I have gone through many things since that time, had many ups and downs but I understood that this was all apart of the process. So honestly I was just asking God why hasn't my promise gotten here yet? It appears as if nothing is happening in the area of my ministry. I am a woman who loves God, I live in holiness. I am by no means perfect, but I truly love the Lord with all of my heart. I have had to give up everything for the cost of being obedient to his will and way. I have had to experience much rejection and have learned to be alone to be able to hear his voice. So at this point I am like God okay, what is going on here. Again after I pray, I feel the presence of God, I know that God has heard me and I drift off to sleep. Again God speaks to me in a vision, as he often speaks to me in visions and dreams. He says "She has many fears". In the vision it was as if God was telling someone else she has many fears. Have you ever been in a good counseling session or had a "ah ah" moment? Well this was one of those moments. I remember something deep from the pit of my heart knowing that this is true. Isn't it amazing how God will reveal things to you about yourself that you know, but don't know? I thought I was over my fears. God will reveal those things that are so hidden they are even hidden from our own selves, but not from others around us. I know God was telling me that it was my own fears that has held me back. I began to think of the root of my fears, where they came from. I thought back to my early childhood. I grew up in church, but I have survived being abused, hurt, and being broken. I experienced people who were supposed to be close to me telling me I would never amount to anything. I have experienced rejection from my own family, my school mates, church mates and from people that you would think should love you the most. No matter where I have been I have never been accepted. I am not bitter and have forgiven but I simply wish to tell my story. I use to think that there was something wrong with me because no matter what I did I could not seem to be accepted. Eventually as I started cultivating my relationship with Christ he began to tell me who I was and the purpose he had for me. As said early although I initially didn't believe it do to those fears I came to accept that I was the head and not the tail. I am above and not beneath and this was God. I have since grown into a strong, confident women so it was to my shock and aw that God would tell me that my fears are what's holding me back after I thought I was done with them. Since God told me about myself, this is hard but I most confess. It has been fear that has led to my delay. It was fear of being hurt that has kept me from establishing relationships. It is hard to trust someone you don't know, when the people that are supposed to love you the most reject you. It was fear that led me to build up walls from me and the outside world. It was the fear of failure that has led me to not fully believe in myself. It was fear that contributed to my own low self esteem and self worth. It was fear that made me not speak, knowing I have a voice and that voice has something to say. It was fear that has led to me to build up defenses. It was fear that has kept me in a defeated position instead of a position of power. It was fear that contributed to my defense mechanisms. It was fear that kept me in my comfort zone. It was fear that kept me in the back of the line, knowing I was supposed to be up front. It was fear of rejection even though rejection is what I know that has kept me bound. It was fear, it was all fear. FEAR, FEAR, FEAR, FFFFFEEEAAAARRRRR. That's it I said it, I have spent most of if not all of my life afraid! So when God spoke to me I knew it was him. I knew The good news is when God reveals to you something about yourself, he intends to bring it to the surface in order to remove whatever it is. I understood there was a purpose for my rejection, which is why I can't be angry, or mad at anyone. Mark 6:4 (NKJV) 4. But Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house". John 1: 10, 11 (NKJV) 10. He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. 11. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. Isaiah 53: 3 (NKJV) 3. He is despised and rejected by men. A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him. Luke 17: 25 (NKJV) 25. But first He must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation. Acts 7: 35 "This Moses who they rejected".. So no my or your rejection was and is not in my mind. It was real. Jesus went through significant rejection while here on earth. The good news is my prayer since God revealed this to me was "Lord I know that what I had to go through was for your glory. However it was when I didn't know the purpose of my rejection that fear was given precedent in my heart and mind. I know longer want fear to hold me back, so if you please remove it." I looked up some scriptures that I could find regarding weakness and fear. I Corinthians 2: 3 (NKJV) 3. I was with you in weakness, in fear and much trembling. Even Paul this great man of God said "I first started out being afraid". He went on to be what I believe to be the most prolific and profound writer, speaker, apostle, scholar that ever lived. Jeremiah 1: 7 (NKJV) 6. Then said I: "Ah, Lord GOD! Behold I cannot speak" Jeremiah ended up being a great prophet, who spoke very powerfully the words of God. He spoke so powerfully we are still talking about him today. First he was afraid, and told God his weaknesses, one being he thought he could not speak. Exodus 2: 14 (NKJV) 14. "..So Moses feared".. Moses became so afraid, that he ran off to the wildness. In Exodus 4:10-12 Moses admits to God after having the burning bush experience that he had a speech problem. It commonly believed that Moses had a stuttering problem, which he openly admitted to God. Moses was so afraid that God had to send his brother Aaron to go with him. However, Acts 22 reports that Moses was mightily in words. He ended up not needing his brother to speak for him after all, even though his brother did assist him in other ways. Moses ended being the greatest leader that ever lived, but he started off being afraid. I Corinthians 8: 15 15. For you did not receive the spirit of fear... One of my professors once told us, that it is not where you start that matters. The point is our weakness are not his. So I realized that God had given me an anointing and he had every intention to use me. He would rid me of fear. So I prayed that fear and doubt would be removed and Holy boldness would be replaced by it. If he did it for those in the bible he could do it for you and I. Fear is a spirit that most be rebuked. So I prayed. Every since then I started seeing victory. I feel the bounds of the spirit of fear being broken off of my life. I am starting to see myself in boldness, in a way that I have never. I see myself the head and not the tale. I see myself reaching my purpose very soon. I just feel victory. So I am writing this article in victory not defeat. It is in not in any way meant to be another sad story to make you cry. It is a new day. I am thinking differently and have a can do attitude. PRAY pray that the spirit of fear and bitterness be broken off of your life. I could care less about whether I am accepted or not. What difference does it really make? I am a true witness it is not worth it. Forgive; people only do what they know, sometimes what they know is simply not enough. So just let it go. I am moving forward and so are you. If this article has touched you in a special way repeat this pray with me. Prayer: I asked for your forgiveness of letting fear, unbelief and doubt dictate and delay my life. I realize that when I allow fear to guide me it is only a sign that I really don't trust you, nor do I believe the words that you spoken over my life. I am sorry Lord for calling you a liar in my heart. Forgive me. I renounce the spirit of fear. I forgive the people that have hurt me. Now Holy Spirit let the spirit of boldness come into me now. I thank you for it. Amen Acts 4: 31 (NKJV) 31. And when they had prayed, the place were they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness. God Bless, I Love You Samaria M. Colbert © 2009  A Birthing Place
By: Samaria M. Colbert Freelance writer Have you ever felt like you had potential, but was not quite there yet? Have you ever been at a certain place and at a certain time only to realize that you were at the right place and at the right time where your dreams were to became manifested? Is there a difference between where you long to be versus where you currently are? Have you ever gotten excited because you felt like you had almost arrived, but in actuality you were not quite there, yet you knew that something was on the horizon? It could possibly be that you are at the birthing blace. Scripture describes the manifestation of the promise to a woman giving birth. As you know there is a process for a woman who is getting ready to give birth. At first although the woman may know she is pregnant, she has some signs of pregnancy but to the naked eye or someone else there are no visible signs of a pregnancy. There are 9 stages of pregnancy until the ninth month when the baby is birthed out. Through out the pregnancy process a womans body becomes uncomfortable, the further along she gets the more uncomfortable a woman will get. So I heard, since I don't have any children. However it is at the ninth month were the baby and the mother become so uncomfortable. The baby needs more room and the mother is exhausted from carrying the baby, hence the mother is at the birthing place. At the birthing place there is much suffering, groaning and moaning in anticipation of the release of a baby. Many of us are at the spiritual birthing place. You carried your potential your promise for months maybe even years. During that time God had you in a process. During the process he had to readjust you, you became uncomfortable, people originally could not see the change that was happening but you could. Eventually people around you started noticing a change is happening. As the potential or promise has been growing on the inside, you began to look different. God had to change your environment to a place were you were no longer comfortable with being average or ordinary. God was preparing you. You suffered, you cried, you lamented, and you began to prepare. Now you are spiritually at the birthing place. Romans 8:18-24 (NJKV) 18. For I consider that the suffering of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us. 19. For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly awaits for the revealing of the sons of God. 20. For the creation itself was subject to futility not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; 21. because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children ofGod. 22. For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. 23. Not only that, but we also who have the first fruits ofthe spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly awaiting for the adoption of our body. 24. For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? It is now time for the sons of God to be revealed. (note: sons is not gender specific, it denotes men and women of God who have been led by the spirit). You are getting ready to birth out your purpose, destiny and promise for the Glory of God not your own glory. The vision has waited for an appointed time and this is that appointed time. My potential is no longer potential but it is reality. Wait for it, in just a few days it will be manifested. You are at the birthing place. The thing about the birthing place is that no matter how excited you are, no matter how much you have prepared for it, it will not happened until it is time. When it is time you know it, just as a mother who finally goes into labor knows it. Nobody has to tell her anything. So don't try to make it happen it will happen when it is supposed to happen. Congratulations! It a ????????????????????? SamariaM. Colbert © 2009 All Rights Reserved  The Right Time: Timing is Everything By: Samaria M. ColbertFreelance WriterHabakkuk 2: 2,3 (NKJV) 2. " Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it.3. For the vision awaits and appointed time…. Ecclesiastes 3: 17 (NKJV)….17…. For there is a time there for ever purpose and for every work Ecclesiastes 8:6 (NKJV)6. Because for every matter there is a time and judgment…. Ecclesiastes 8: 11 (NKJV)11. But time and chance happen to them all…. Yes ladies and gentlemen timing is everything according to scripture. God has a set time for everything under the sun. If you step ahead of God's timing you miss it and if you step behind His timing you still act in disobedience. Yes timing is everything. I always say, I don’t have time to waste time to waste. No I am not a stickler for time, really. I try to arrive most places on time. Of course it is easier to get places on time that I am interested in versus things that I am not. I get to church on time because I love it, I love to worship and I love to hear good preaching, I love God so I want to get a good seat. I get there on time. Work is another story within itself. I shouldn't admit it but I am, so there. When I talk about time, I however am not referring to your watch. I am not referring to the everyday act of trying to get to places on time. I am referring to life, times and seasons. Ecclesiastes says that there is a season and time for everything under the sun. There is a set time for your deliverance. There is a set time for what God has promised you to come to pass. There is a time preordained by God. However Acts 1:7,8 says that God knows the time, but it is not for us to know. But we must know that when His time comes we will have power to do what we could not do before. Yes that's right timing is everything.Unfortunately it is very possible to miss your time. Think about it. Have you ever said "If I knew then, what I know now I would have…" or have you ever heard the saying, "If I could have done it all over again I would have…." Yep, it is very possible to miss the right time. Yes, progress does happen but it can appear that in the moment what you really want is taking to much time to come to pass Sure I'd like to quit my job right now forget like, love should be a better word for it. I thought I'd be much further along when I started out on my career path. I thought I'd at least be a home owner by now. I would like to have my own private practice and be my own boss by now. Oh and yes one day I would like to get married. (not anytime soon, it is certainly not on my to do list ) but in time. I would like these things. However, when I really contemplate my life I realize that I am on my way. I have more than most. We all have greatness on the inside of us. We all have those desires that we really really want. God is faithful and He promises us that He will give us the desires of our heart if we put Him first. Ultimately out of everything I have ever wanted in my life, I want to be in the perfect will of God for my life. With all my wants, I think it is sad when people rush into life because they refused to wait on God's timing. Yes God knows our desires because He placed them in us, but they still await an appointed time. God is our father, He wants to give us everything that He has promised us. But He also is aware that He cannot give it to us if He has not prepared us for what He has promised us. Stepping out of God's timing will cost you everything believe it or not. Harsh words but oh so true. Sin and disobedience will cost you more than you are ever willing to pay. Sin is not just doing something wrong, but it is the act of not being led by the spirit so you step out of His will for your life because you don't agree with His timing. How sad. You cannot not walk out of the will of God for your life easily without it costing you everything. Yes you will be alive, but dead all at the same time. Alive because you are breathing, but dead because you are not fulfilling your purpose for being on the earth. When you step out of the will of God for your life and don't wait on His timing the thing that was supposed to be a great blessing will end up being a curse. Instead of being a joy it will be a heavy weight. Instead of being in the garden of Eden you end up being outside the garden where you have to work hard for what should have come easily. God reveals everything in His time. He makes everything beautiful in it's time. I often wonder how is it that people say they love God, can shout all around the church, speak in tongues and do all these things. And be so quick to walk out of the will of God for their life. The bible says "My sheep know My voice and no other voice will they follow" John 10: 5. When people are so quick to walk out of the will of God for their lives because they refuse to wait on His timing it is only an indication that they don't really love or serve God like they say they do. They are not really a son of God. The act of worship means nothing, worship is a lifestyle. So yes sometimes it appears that God is taking much to long. It can appear that maybe His time is a bit off. But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him. I Corinthians 2:9 KJV Truly loving God means I love Him enough to wait on Him. He knows what's best for me. Besides the plans that God has in store for you far out weighs anything you could have conjured up on your own. Wait on His time. If you don't you'll end up regretting it in the long run. Regret is a sad thing, sorry is a sorry word that does not have to be. The saddest song you'll ever sing is the shoulda song. You know the song, I shoulda, I coulda, I woulda. What a sad song to sing. I admonish you to wait on God, He will never stir you wrong. If you have no peace about it is it is not God. It will all be worth it, but wait. Even if you can't see it wait. Be still and know that He is God. If you can't wait on Him that you are telling Him that you really don't trust Him. Wait. He is all you need, but if you don't want to wait on Him He'll let you do that to. Even though it breaks His heart. What father wants to see His children in pain? So wait on Him. Remember time is everything. Wait on His time, you will get there.It is better to wait on God and endure the process, than to step ahead of His timing and live in the pain of regret. Update 6/2020 Most things I was waiting on God for has come to pass. God's timing is right. How many times have you heard in church “You don’t need to see no counselor, you just need Jesus” or some other common term used within our churches. Often times if you take what you hear at verbatim in church, you would never see the doctor, never seek counseling; never go to school all in the name of a Jesus or to only be told the you need more faith. We are taught to believe that because we are Christians we get a free pass through life to do nothing with but wait until God decides to bless us. We are subconsciously given the impression that God requires nothing of us, consequently we have raised a bunch of lazy Christians who seem to believe that God is our personal santa claus and He will bless us for being good. Now what God has for us is far better then where our education, doctrine or theology could ever take us, so in some sense I concur. However, again as I always say God will always take you through a process to get what He has for you. He will place you in a spiritual training ground to get you to the place He wants you to be. Always, Always, Always. No there are no get rich quick schemes in the kingdom, no you will not get rich simply because you are saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost. Yes you will have to work at some point in your life. No there is no spiritual welfare system for church folk. God is still a God of responsibility, diligence and persistence to His will for your life.
The point is often we accept cultural or social synonyms as though they are from God, when they are not. They are mans misinterpretation of scripture. Yes, you should go to the doctor. Yes you do need to submit yourself to your employer regardless of how much of a sinner they maybe until God releases you. No absolutely no there is nothing wrong with going to school. And just because you go to school does not mean you are somehow substituting a greater anointing for an education because you chose to go to college. Hello, they don’t hand out degrees because you are nice, you work blood, sweat, tears and crazy professors all contribute to your process. It doesn’t mean you are a sinner because you want to pursue a Ph.D. Sounds obvious but you’d be surprised. There are no easy passes in life, as a matter of fact when you are a Christian you often have greater attacks because everything God is training you for is apart of your spiritual destiny. I could go on, but I want to highlight Christian counseling. I have been raised in a Christian, charismatic church all my life. I have had to deal with those feelings of guilt or questioned myself saying “is it really worth it” because I am pursing something that in many churches is not accepted. In my pursuit of a PhD in Counseling I have had to deal with the question within myself “but why do Christians need counseling?” or “Should I pursue a career in counseling, isn’t that wrong?”. Even though I knew and still know that I have an anointing to counsel people. This is something we don’t talk about in church. How many times have I heard “ you don’t need to seek counseling”. Gee thanks but this is my passion. However in seeking God and knowing His word and His call on my life. I found out an interesting fact. The bible is clear about the need to seek counseling. There is nothing wrong with counseling. And no you are not less than a person if you seek counseling from a professional. Not your hair stylist, or friend, a professional person. So below are the scripture references that prove the fact that there is nothing wrong with being a counselor and there is nothing wrong with seeking counsel. No it is does not take away from who you are or your Christianity if you do. In fact scripture says that if you don’t heed to wise counseling you are a fool. It's one thing to seek out counsel it is another thing to seek out wise counsel. There is a difference. So hence the scriptures below. The Case for Christian Counseling. Proverbs –New King James Version 20:5 Counseling in the heart of a man is life deep water, But a man with understanding draws it ou 20:18 Plans are established by counsel: By wise counsel wage wa 1:5….And a man of understanding will obtain wise counsel :32 But His secret counsel is with the upright :5 Get wisdom, get understanding 8:14 Counsel is mine and sound wisdom; 11:14 Where there is no counsel people fall. But in the multitude of counselors there is safet 12:25 Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes glad 15:22 Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established 9:20,21 Listen to counsel and receive instruction that you may be wise in your latter days. There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel will stand 24:6 For by wise counsel, you will wage your own war; And in a multitude of counselors there is safety. 2:9 Ointment and perfume delight the heart, And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel. Read Exodus 18:1-27 Moses is counseled. V:19 “Listen to my voice; I will give you counsel, and God will be with you. Psalms 1:1 Don’t allow the ungodly to counsel you. So if you are going to seek out counsel make sure it’s by a Christian. Preferable a license professional because just because they are Christian doesn’t mean they should be counseling you. Note: licensed counselors are both anointed and trained to do what they do. They also ensure compliance with HIPPA, confidentiality, and duty to warn laws. They are not the same as your friends. Counselors are not the same thing as a life coach. They are ethically obligated to up hold the standards of their licensure or they could loose it. Most licensed counselors are more capable of handling diverse issues because of their training. For example I have had a lot of training working with women who have suffered through childhood sexual assault and persons who suffer with severe and persistent mental illness. Both of which traditional church lay persons tend not be trained in. I have also worked with diverse populations of people who may never feel comfortable seeking counseling from a pastor or lay person. The approach is totally different. There is a difference. Counseling can simply mean giving wise advice or to advise, which anyone can do. But a licensed counselor is more concerned about the process of healing rather than the immediate gratification. Which is my most licensed counselors are referred to as therapist or clinicians. Counselors come from diverse backgrounds there are licensed psychologist, licensed professional counselors, licensed clinical social workers, licensed clinical Christian counselors and so on. These are all individuals who have master’s degrees and beyond, have had to go through clinical supervision for two years after graduating from graduate school and have sat for there clinical licensure within the hours of completing their two years of clinical supervision after graduate school. All are trained as clinical therapist. Clinical denotes training in the mental health field. Life coaches have minimal proffessional training, no clinical supervision is required and no formal academic training is required to be a life coach. Although the use of a coach can be beneficial they are not the same as a proffessional counselor. There is nothing wrong with asking a counselor there professional training to counsel. Most will probably be gratefully to tell you. If they respond by offense then move on. If they say something like “I don’t need all that, I got Jesus” definitely move on. Most clinical professionals can bill most insurance companies for services renders. Most are in the business of counseling either full time or part time. Meaning they make a career of counseling individuals. So if you ever are getting ready to make a major life decision, need to get counsel in private, have experienced any type of trauma in life or just want to speak with a proffessional counselor. Go ahead. Never feel like you are alone, to deal with life on your own. God has sent people to assist you along the way. So recieve that assistance. Samaria M. Colbert Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved  Please read the entire chapter of Deuteronomy 28 to gain further explanation of the following post. I am highlighting a few scriptures to illustrate my points but I am referencing the entire chapter in my writing.
Deuteronomy 28: 1, 2 (NKJV) 1. "Now it shall come to pass, if you diligently obey the voice of the Lord you God, to observe carefully all His commandments which I command you today, that the LORD your God will set you high above the nations of the earth. 2. "And all these blessing shall come upon you and overtake you, because you obey the voice of the LORD your God": Deuteronomy then proceeds by stating how blessed you shall be. Read on verses 3-14. It states you're going to be blessed in the city, blessed in your body, blessed when you come and when you go, you will be the head and not the tail, above and not beneath and so on. Note the blessings came with conditions. No you were not just blessed because you were blessed but because of your obedience. Now read on: Deuteronomy 28 the remainder of the chapter. Many people love to read about the blessings, but what happens when we are disobedient. The consequences of disobedience ended up in GOD Himself cursing the same people He said He'd bless. So yes according to the scripture the same God that will bless you is the same God that will curse you when you act in disobedience. Deuteronomy 28: 15 (NKJV) 15. "But it shall come to pass, if you do not obey the voice of the LORD your God, to observe carefully all His commandments and His statutes which I command you today, that all these curses will come upon you and overtake you:" Read on the rest of the verses. Deuteronomy states in the following chapters you will be cursed in the city, cursed in your body, cursed wherever you go. Read verse 20 20. The LORD will send on you cursing, confusion an rebuke in all that you set your hand to do, until you are destroyed and until you perish quickly, because of the wickedness (turning away, rebellion, distaste to God) if your doing in which you have forsaken me. Notice as you read on it continues to say what THE LORD WILL DO to you for disobedience, not the devil. The LORD. A curse that the devil puts on you, you don't have to be subjected to because you have authority over it. But a curse that God has puts on you is different. All curses are not from the devil. Many are from God because of disobedience. Galatians 3:13 (NKJV) 13. Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, "Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree)" The bible does not say that we won't be cursed but that because Christ died on the cross which was the tree, then we have a choice of whether we wish to be cursed. He redeemed us from the law of sin and death. Satan no longer has control over us and thereby cannot curse us unto death but listen further to the other scriptures. Jeremiah 21: 8 (NKJV) 8. "Now you shall say to this people, 'Thus says the LORD: "Behold I set before you the way of life and the way of death. So you can choose whether or not you wish to be blessed or cursed. READ: 2 Peter 2:4-10 (NKJV) 4. For if God did not spare the angels who sinned, but cast them down to hell and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved for judgment; 5. and did not spare the ancient world, but saved Noah, one of eight people, a preacher of righteousness, bringing in the flood on the world from the ungodly; 6. and turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah into ashes, condemned them to destruction, making an example to those who afterward would live ungodly; 7. and delivered Lot, who was oppressed by the fifthly conducted of the wicked. 8. (for that righteous man, dwelling among them, tormented his righteous soul from day to day seeing and hearing their lawless deeds)- 9. then the Lord knows how to deliver the godly out of temptations and to reserve the unjust under punishment for the day of judgment, 10. and especially those who walk according to the flesh in the lust of uncleanness and despise authority. (Rebellion) They are presumptuous self willed. They are not afraid to speak evil of dignitaries. 2 Peter 2:21 (NKJV) 21. For it would have been better for them to have not known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered to them. ** know –some translations say once having known or knew Him- it denotes having a personal intimidate relationship with. You having knew or known someone meaning being intimately acquainted with. Knew or known denotes past tense. As some saying you knew me then or once have known. You knew me then but don't know me now. Means of having once known someone but not seen or heard of them in years.You can know of someone and not know them personally but this scripture is talking about knowing as to know or once have been in personal relationship with.*** Whew what a mouth full. Isn't it ironic how we are always talking about how God is going to bless us? How many times have we heard "it doesn't matter what you do God's grace will get you to it" Unfortunately we are taught that God is going to bless us no matter what. But the scripture, not me is the final say on the matter. You can argue with a person but you can't argue with God or His words because they are the final truth on any given topic. God's grace is not a license to do whatever we want. It does not imply in scripture that I can act in rebellion and sin and still get the promises of God. What God will always do is give His people grace or a grace period. Meaning He loves us enough to warn us of impending danger and consequence of rebellion. After one continues in disobedience, and not heeding to His warnings, He will release you to the curse. Not only that He will take the anointing off of you and place it on another because that individual has failed to repent and move on.(I don't have time to get into this more deeply, but I will say that God showed me in a dream, Him doing this to someone that I know because of this same reason) Repent meaning to ask for forgiveness and not keep sinning. Anyone can ask for forgiveness, but true repentance means you don't keep going back to sin. So if you repent and keep going back to the thing you were just delivered from you have not truly repented. Re-means to return or to turn back to God's way. The point is God's blessing for His people in His kingdom are for believers who are faithful and obedient. When we continue in disobedience God then curses us to our own way not His. So yes, you will still be alive but are no longer in Eden (which is God's provision) but you are outside the garden where life is hard. No matter what you do or say, not matter how hard you work. You will never get anywhere because of the curse. The curse that God puts in and under us affects your family, finances, children and children's children to the third and fourth generation, livelihood and so on. Most of all the curse effects your destiny. You are no longer eligible for God to be used for His purpose. All because of rebellion and disobedience. Note greats in the bible: Moses couldn't take the people into the promise land. Saul lost his kingship to David, the people of Israel lost their inheritance to the gentiles and so on. Note that God's purpose was fulfilled it was not fulfilled through whom He originally intended it to be fulfilled through. So no it is not about us, but about His will; and His will be fulfilled on the earth. Matthew 25:29. It is so ironic to me that people can continue to do whatever they want to do. Not heed to God's warning and still expect to be blessed. Not so according to the bible. We love to pick and choose the scripture that we want to comply with, but when reading the book in it's entirety you see again the same God that will bless, is the same God that will curse you. I don't know about you but I would rather die than to walk around the earth the rest of my life and not be doing what I was created for. And yes if I am disobedient that is just what will happen. I can still be saved, and get to heaven, but my life is dead to my destiny. I want to finish by bringing out a few principles, I know this post is really long but please read on, I promise you need to get this. Principle of the Kingdom #1: there are windows of opportunity predetermined by God and not known by man for the releasing of the kingdom's authority to select men and women of God (otherwise known as the remnant) (Acts 1:7,8, Revelations 3:8, Eccle 3: 1, 11, 17, Eccl 12: 1, 2, 13, 14) Principle of the Kingdom #2: It is very possible to miss God because you were not ready when the shift or transition occurs. Jesus referred to this as the hour of visitation. (Matthews 25:1-11, Habakkuk 2:3, Luke 19:44) Principle of the Kingdom #3: Those who are not apart of the shift were not because of there disobedience and rebellion. Once you miss this hour it is not possible to revisit it because this time will never happen again. (Joshua 3:4) You see the importance of obedience. Principle of the Kingdom #4: You must seek the kingdom of God. You cannot seek the kingdom of God if you don't have a heart for the king or His kingdom first. You cannot truly have a heart for the kingdom or it's advancement if you don't first walk in holiness. Hebrews 12:14 ***Note there are many more principles to the kingdom of God, I chose to highlight these four. They are not in any particular order to mean sequence or level of importance. Why is all this so important? READ on. The prophetic word: -God is getting ready to shift His people into His greater dimensions and realms of His Glory to possess, conquer and advance the Kingdom of God for His Glory. -Great signs and wonders will follow them, with great outpours of the spirit like never before. -Revival/Renewal is breaking out beginning in different pockets and regions all over the country and all over the world. -God is revising the deliverance and healing ministries into the hands of the saints in unprecedent eready to place many in unfamiliar/peculiar territories that will result in unanticipated divine connections by others who are like minded in unusual settings. For example you will run into a devine connection unintentionally. -This is the time to understand your divine assignment. Prepare! Read and Study. Ser -While the systems of this world begin to crash (no the crisis is not over nor will it be for quite some time) God is going to raise up His people to be used mightily for Him in all arenas. Particularly in the main systems that are crashing now as we speak. (Particularly in the area of land, business entrepreneurship, health care, finances, housing, social and global economic development) Also outside the four walls of the church. -God is getting ready to release His kingdom authority through out the earth. But His kingdom is only going to be advanced through the remnant of obedient people and those walking in true kingdom mind sets and assignments. - God is releasing prophetic mantles. -Because the hour of urgency is here, God is taking His mantle (predetermined destiny off of those who have been disobedient and walking in sin) He is placing it on those who are true to God and His words. -Areas of disobedience include; particularly those walking in rebellion, (not heeding to God and His warning), those not submitted to spiritual true authority (not your friends who tell you what you want to hear), those walking in perversions of all kinds (particularly sexual perversions) and sin. Those who are not in alignment. For example one may not be walking in sin but apostolically you are not where you supposed to be. (for example not being in the right region, sphere where God told you to go, not under apostolic alignment), those who refused to not rid themselves of relationships that are preventing them from walking in true authority. (it doesn't matter who it is family, friends you have known your whole life, soul ties, anyone who has influence over you and they are not supposed to be anywhere near your sphere of influence) ~these people will be the ones who will not be apart of the transition and will not see their destiny fulfilled. Note: they can still repent and make it to heaven should they choose but they will be dead to their destiny in God.~ In the words of Shakespeare "It was the best of times and the worst of times" For some the shift will be the greatest thing you have ever experienced in your life. It will be a time of great rejoicing, with unseen outpours of the Holy Spirit. For others it will be the worst of times. It will be a time of wailing, mourning and trevail with no results. It will be the worst time they have experienced in their life. It will be more worse than a dry desert with no water and no release or relieve from the pressure or pain -Because of the greater judgment in this time, the level of grace that was extended in previous generations is not being extended in this one. So in years previous maybe you could mess up and still be on your way, but not in this time because of the sense of urgency in the kingdom. -You can and will miss God in this hour for not being obedient. Thereby being cursed. -Again you can reverse the curse over your life, when you repent, but your destiny and purpose are at stake. You can miss God and forfeit your destiny, while still being alive. Amen, there is so much to say, but I think I will end this hear. So you see why obedience is so important. Get rid of anything that will prevent you from hearing, knowing and actualizing your destiny in God. Look out for soul ties. Everyone who is to be in your circle of influence must be there on divine assignment by God. This is a time to pray and fast. Really seek His face. Ask Him to remove anything that is in your life that is not of God. Don't give up your destiny for someone. You must be under apostolic alignment. Lay aside every weight and sin that so easily besets you. This is the hour to put your body under submission and divine alignment. PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE. Study and read. Note: My opinion, although the Holy Spirit is your ultimate guide in the area of your ministry. I highly recommend reading as much material on your area of ministry by others who are already in position. For example: if God has called you to healing ministry, then read and study the scriptures and other books about healing ministry. (Authors like: Smith Wigglesworth, Benny Hinn etc) If God has called you to be an intercessor then read as much as you can on intercessory prayer. OH MY: Whatever you do pay your tithes! The surest way to be cursed by God is to not pay your tithes. I have been watching Benny Hinn recently who had Bishop McClendon on his broadcast and he was teaching on the tithes. It was powerful. I was just thanking God I am a tither. Above all be obedient. Whatever God tells you to do, do it or whatever He tells you to get away from, obey. There is always a price to pay for disobedience always. Don't be deceived, like my mother use to say, "If you play with fire you will get burnt." Don't be so deceived that you think there will be no consequence for walking out of the will of God for your life. There is a consequence there is Saleh P.S this is not meant in anyway to be mean or judgmental. One day I will write a post on what it really means to judge. Speaking the truth, warning people in love, and admonishing the saints is not the same as judging. Samaria M. Colbert © 2010 For more information on Blessing and Curses I highly recommend the book: Blessing and Curses You Can Choose by: Derek Prince. Also visit youtube.com to see his teaching on blessing and cursing.  ohn 10:1-5 (NKJV)
1. "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door, but climbs up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber. 2. "But he who enters by the door is the shepherd to the sheep. 3. "To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and lead them out. 4. "And he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. 5. "Yet they will by no means (no way whatsoever) follow a stranger, but they will flee him, for they do not know the strangers voice. John 10:25-30 (NKJV) 25. Jesus answered them, "I told you and you do not believe. The works that I do in My Father's name, they bear witness to Me. 26. "But you do not believe, because you are not of My sheep, as I said to you. 27. "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 28. "And I will give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 29. "My father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of my hand. 30. "I and My Father are one." Jeremiah 1:9 (NKJV) 9. Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me: " Behold I have put My words in your mouth. Obedience heeding/submitting to the voice of God means you know His voice and that you belong to Him. Disobedience and rebellion to the voice of God means that you don't know His voice. Not only that it means according to the scripture that you don't belong to Him. Hearing the voice of God is not difficult. It is not strange or unusual to hear the voice of God. Hearing the voice of God is a common decision that you make once you say you belong to Him. I use to take it for granted that the person standing next to me belongs to Him. I mistakenly thought that if we are crying the same tears, speaking in tongues and dancing to the same music than that meant that we both belongs to God. And the tears were only an indication of passion and obedience towards Him. Like wise I thought it strange how the same person can be so quick to walk out of the will of God for their lives and disobey Him, when in my mind He is clearly talking. So I asked God about this. Lord why do we say we love God, but are so quick to disobey Him and fall into diverse sin. Then the Lord took me to this scripture. First shouting, tongues and crying are not indications of our love for God. Obedience to His voice is. If and individual is finding themselves having a hard time, knowing and obeying the voice of God is only means that they do not belong to Him. And they are caught up in some kind of sin that prevent them from hearing His voice. Romans 8:14 States that the sons of God are those individuals who are led by the spirit. So if you are being led by the flesh or your sinful nature you are not a son of God nor do you belong to Him. Principle of the Kingdom # 1: The reason you can't hear the voice of God is because of sin and disobedience. Principle of the Kingdom # 2: Whenever someone sins the first thing that they do is to hide themselves from the voice of God. Genesis 3:8-10 After Adam and Eve have sinned they knew that they were naked and were then ashamed. So they hid themselves. So according to the bible when God came to meet with Adam, he hid himself was afraid. Hiding is always an indication of shame. It is an awakening or awareness of sin and a turning away from righteousness. It was always God intention to speak with His people face to face and to allow them to hear His voice. Not go through another man but to hear His voice for themselves. Exodus 20:18-21 The people of Israel became afraid of God's voice. In verse 19 of Exodus 20 they say Moses when you speak with us we will hear, but don't let God speak with us, lest we die. Matthew 3:3 The voice crying out in the wildness. God was getting ready to put His voice back into His people so He sent a voice to prepare a way for His voice. The voice of God always prepares you for the greater reveal (revelation) of His manifestation of earth. Principle of the Kingdom # 3 Fear of hearing the voice of God is always a result of not wanting to hear the voice of God because of sin. Most people who are His, long to hear His voice for themselves. However the people of Israel assumed that they may die if they heard His voice. They had committed the sin of constant complaining and speaking against God and His man servant. Have you ever tried to give someone Godly sound advice or wisdom that you knew was from God. And they said "I don't want to hear that"? or they disregarded what you had to say. Most of the time that is a result of sin. Again if you are a child of God you recognize or are not spiteful of correction towards the voice of God. Well if you are not in sin, why are you afraid to hear His voice? They were probably afraid of what He might say to them. When your heart is right and you are not in sin, even it is in correction you long for God to take out even the things are in you that are not like Him. Most people who long to be near Him are like David who said I long to be in your presence. You see when you are in the presence of God and fear His voice instead of wanted to be near His voice something is wrong. The true fear of the Lord means a Holy reverence towards Him. You aim to follow Him. You long to be lead by Him. Deuteronomy 28 God talks about the blessing of obedience to His voice and the curses of disobedience to His voice. So if I am acting in obedience and am following His voice there is no need to fear what God has to say because I am in His will. When He speaks He speaks to bless me. But if I disobey Him, I have good reason to fear, because He is proclaiming His curses over me. Which is why disobedience people don't want to hear His voice. They only want to hear what they want to hear. They want to hear others who share their same voice (opinions and compromise) but surely not the voice of God. Lest He curse them. I Kings 19:11-14 God speaks to Elijah in a still small voice. Principle of the Kingdom # 4 God will always speak to you in a way you can understand. I once heard a pastor say if you are sitting alone in your house and you hear a big bass voice, with a great sound say "My child come forth" He said run that is not God. God is not out to scare you. He will test you but He is not out to scare you. So God will always speak to you in a way that you can understand. He spoke to the Elijah in a still small voice. This is the same God who answered by fire in Mount Carmel. Principle of the Kingdom # 5 God may answer by fire, but He speaks to His people in a still small voice. Acts 6 & Act 7:57 The bible says that when he (Stephen) spoke they were not able to resist the wisdom and the Spirit by which he spoke. So after Stephen kept speaking in Verse 57 it says that they cried with a loud voice and stopped their ears and ran at him on one accord. They stopped their ears. What happened hear. They did not want to hear what the voice was saying. They couldn't bear it. Again if they weren't wrong why stopp (cover) their ears? II Timothy 4:3,4 Says that in the last days they will not endure sound doctrine, according to their own desires and they will turn away from truth. That means they will no longer want to hear the voice of God, but would rather believe a lie. So they go where they want to hear what they want to hear. God longs to speak to His people. It was always apart of His plan from the beginning, starting in the beginning with Adam and Eve. We see God speaking to His people through out the bible. But if you don't want Him to speak to you like the people of Israel He won't It is not God's will for you to go here and there and everywhere looking for a prophetic word from the Lord. The prophet Joel said that in the last days God would pour out His spirit on all flesh. That is why He came. All flesh John 16:13 Says that the spirit of truth will tell you what is yet to come. What is the spirit of truth? The Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will tell you what is yet to come. So there is a prophetic nature on the inside of you. John 14:17 Says that the world cannot receive the spirit of truth. Meaning sinners/rebellious people because they don't want to know Him or hear His voice. But the bible says you know Him and because you know Him, the spirit of truth dwells meaning lives inside of you and he will continue to be with you. Tap into the prophetic nature that is on the inside of you. Lastly when Jesus died on the cross, the veil was broken. We are no longer under the curse the people of Israel requested being under, where God no longer spoke to them and they God could only relay messages to them from Moses. You have the spirit of truth on the inside of you. It is sad to have the voice of God on the inside of you, and not use it. It is just silly to long to hear His voice that is already on the inside of you but go seeking His voice through someone else who has the same Holy Spirit that you have. God longs to speak to His people. God will always speak to you concerning you. I believe that God will not reveal more to a man or woman of God about you than He longs to reveal to you Himself. They water, but He plants. A prophetic word from others is meant to activate your faith not be the sole provider or be the means by which you hear from God. I once heard a minister say that as Jesus was dyeing on the cross, with every lash He took. With every pain He endured. Maybe He was thinking of the words to a song that Barbara Streisand wrote: The Way We Were. Maybe He was thinking of the way we were and endured the pain to have that relationship with us again like He walked with Adam and Eve before the their rebellion. The way we were. God longs to speak with us more than we long to speak to Him. So much so that He sends people our way to say hey he is trying to talk to you but you won't pick up your phone. He longs to have a intimate relationship with us, more than we long to have a relationship with Him. He longs to reveal mysterious and secrets to us. But He also longs just to communicate with us. He wants you to tell Him about your day. Talk to Him about things that may seem insignificant. Our daddy just want to be with us. He longs to be with us. That why He said to David "seek my face" meaning seek to get to know Him. But we must respond in our hearts like David. And say Yes Lord "Thy face I will seek". Allow the voice to come in. Hear Him, He is waiting, longing and wanting to be with you. Samaria M. Colbert © 2010 Categories: None Read Esther –The entire book
For our emphasis Esther 2:7, 9, 10, 12, 13, 17 7. And Mordecai had brought up Hadassah, that is Esther, his uncle's daughter, for she had neither father nor mother. The young woman was lovely and beautiful. When her father and mother died, Mordecai took her as his own daughter. 9. Now the young woman pleased him, (King Ahasuerus) and she obtained favor in his sight, so he readily gave preparations to her, ….. 10. Esther had not revealed her people or her family, for Mordecai had charged her not to reveal it. 12. Each young woman's turn came to go in to King Ahasuerus after she had completed twelve months of preparation, according to regulations of women, for thus were the days of their preparation apportioned: six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women, 13. Thus prepared, each young woman went to the king……. 17. The king loved Esther more than all the other women, and she obtained grace and favor in his sight more than all the virgins; so he set the royal crown upon her head and made her queen instead of Vashti. Esther 4: 14, 16 14. For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. Yet who knows whether or not you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this? 16…….And "so I will go to the king, which is against the law; and if I perish, I perish!" Read Matthew 25- the Parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins. Most of us have been taught the story of the wise and foolish virgins. Basically the wise virgins were the one who had prepared for the bridegroom to come and when He came they were ushered into His presence. But the foolish missed their opportunity, and when He came because they had not prepared they were locked out. The story if Esther and the bridegroom represent many things to us who are in preparation for our kingdom assignment. Esther represents an intercessor and a godly woman that we all can look up to. She had a heart for God and a love for her people so much so that she basically says "I know what I am about do is against the law, but I most save my people, so If I die, let me die"! She was prepared to face death so that others may live. Esther is a very power story, rich with revelation and mysteries about the kingdom of God. Everyone must read the book of Esther with the ears of discernment by the Holy Spirit. This is not just another story about a beautiful woman. It is not just a story that reads like a romance novel, to make us tear up with love and warm feelings. This is the story of a young woman's preparation for the kingdom. It also describes the preparation that takes place prior to walking in your kingdom assignment. Not a man, your kingdom assignment. You may say I didn’t get that from this story but just hear me out and I will explain. First I want to propose to you that Esther's preparation began long before she was ever being prepared to be a queen. It did not start where the rest of the virgins started with myrrh and oil. Esther's preparation started with a tragedy and then a divine connection. Esther 2:7 reports that after Esther's parent's died she was raised by her cousin Mordecai. We don’t know how or when Esther parents died, but we know they did die. She was not supposed to be a queen because she was an orphan. Esther should have just been grateful to have been adopted and have someone to love her like her cousin. She was like Gideon, the least called to be the greatest. Remember you can't walk into your kingdom assignment without preparation. God does nothing unless He prepares you. Esther was the wrong nationality, and orphaned. She certainly did not qualify to be a queen. But her heart was right. Remember Queen Vashti was very beautiful, (Esther chapter 1) but her heart was not right and she was prideful. So it had to be more than Esther's beauty that gave her favor with the king. Remember when you are king or in a power position beautiful women are a dime a dozen. It was Esther's spirit of humility, her heart, her integrity, her grace and her quiet spirit that really made her beautiful. Her true attributes are what gave her favor with those around her including the king. Remember Joseph in the bible. Often times a separation must take place. It is in the separation place where we become connected to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords in an unprecedented way. It is here where we hear His voice clearly and then are put into a position of greatest. We must be alone so we can be clear minded and be away from distractions. Often times God's is calling you, He is speaking to you, but we are to busy trying to bring everyone around us into the Glory, but God is speaking to you. He will speak to them when He is ready, but His finger is pointing at you saying "Come on in, there is much I must tell you" You, not you all. The first principle of the kingdom is that a separation must take place from those that are closest to you. God will always call you into an alone place sometimes referred to as a wilderness place. Luke 18:29, 30 (NKJV) 29. So He said to them, "Assuredly, I say to you; there is no one who has left house or parents or brothers or wife or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God. 30 "who shall not receive many things more in this present time, and in the age to come eternal life." Matthew 6:33 (NKJV) 33. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. You see in order to be apart of the true kingdom of God you first must seek after it, not the things. So often we associate the kingdom of God to prosperity or wealth. That is not the kingdom of God they are attributes or the physical manifestation of the blessing but it is not within itself the blessing. Unfortunately in the church today we got it all wrong, we will shout more over the things God is getting ready to bless us with rather than Him. Yes God longs to bless us and yes we will be blessed. But we will never get it when we seek after what is in His hand instead of His heart. God is looking for true worshippers to bless. You can't seek after the kingdom without a heart for King. You can't really have a heart for the King if He is not in you. You can't truly walk into His kingdom absent from a true relationship with Him. You can't really have a true relationship with the King unless you walk in holiness. Hebrews 12:14 without holiness no man can see God. Meaning you don't have access to the King, His kingdom, His heart, the things He longs to bless you with unless you first walk in Holiness. It was Esther's heart that was right that gave her access. Esther still had to go through a process for a year. She was first processed with oil. In the spirit oil is representative of the anointing. Then she was processed with perfumes, which is representative of the glory. So even today we must be anointed with oil, but we must be possessors of the glory. Now we know that the old testament is flesh. The new testament is spirit. So when we read the old testament we must see the spiritual representation of these flesh beings. Queen Vashti is representative of the people of Israel who rejected Christ as our Lord. In Luke 19:44 Jesus was in tears because the people of Jerusalem did not know the hour of visitation. He was rejected by His own people. Isaiah 53:2, Matthew 22:1-14. Mordacai also represents a type of the Holy Spirit who intercedes on our behave. Esther is representative of us the bride of Christ. The story is representative of us the church being the bride of Christ. The church is a woman. The church is being prepared to possess the kingdom and be used mightily for His glory. This is the day when we are being ushered into the hour of the church. Not a building. The remnant, called out body of believer, who have been waiting patiently in preparation to be used for great and mightily exploits for the King. Haman is representative of the demonic kingdom. Remember in the text Esther 3. Haman was advanced above all in his kingdom. He was only in second command to the king himself. He had great power. He sought to be worshiped (Esther 3:2) but when Mordacai would not worship him he sought to destroy all the Jews. The is representative of the Satan once named Lucifer. Ezekiel 28: 12, 15 (NKJV)… You were the seal of perfection, Full of wisdom and beauty 15… Till iniquity was found in you Isaiah 14:13 (NKJV) 13. " For you have said in you heart: 'I will ascend into heaven. 14. You were the anointed cherub who covers; I established you; You see Lucifer was very beautiful and He had been established by God Himself. Yet, He wanted to be worshipped. To this day he still wants to be worshiped. Just like Haman wanted to be worshipped. The reason why the devil hates God's people so much is because we refuse to worship or bow to him. As a matter of fact when he was cast out of heaven he no longer had kingdom authority. God created you in his stead. This is why Matthew 25 reports, we have been given the keys to the kingdom, not only that we have power over the devil. We have power to execute things on earth as it is in heaven. So you see why the devil's jealous and envious of us. He does not want us to know our kingdom assignment. Often times the devil knows our kingdom assignment more so than we do. This is why he is after us so hard. Now he is still trying to destroy God's kingdom and His people but he cannot. Remember the story of the wise and foolish virgins. If you hadn't already done so go ahead and read it. The foolish virgins are representative of a people who want a position or try to put themselves into position with no process. This is all foolishness. The difference between being great and being good is the process. It is the process that makes you great, it is the lack of process that makes you forgettable. Process is the only way to true wisdom which is representative of the five virgins who prepared. Although all the virgins had a prophetic promise, only the one's who had been prepared made it in. Yes it is true that you can miss the hour of visitation. The scripture never reports that they had another chance to make it in. They had to be ready when the bridegroom would come or they'd miss it. I once read a book by Bill Hamon, he reported how he lost a building that he thought God had blessed him with. While in prayer God told him "Son I can give you another building overnight, but I can't give you wisdom overnight" Only process gives you wisdom. Esther (the church ) was prepared. Haman ( the devil, demonic attempts to demolish God and His people) never even considered Esther. Esther 4:14 (NKJV) I love this scripture. Mordecai says: 14: "For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and you fathers house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Esther say 15: And so I will go to the king, which is against the law; and if I perish, I perish!" I love Esther response. She knew that it was unlawful for anyone to go into the inner court without being called. One could be put to death for such a thing. But Esther says well "If I die, I die. She represents courage and a Godly fight that said I will do something even if it cost my life. She knew what she was up against the possible consequence but she was willing to move forward anyway, despite the threat of death. Notice Mordecai said "deliverance will come, but from another place." Please understand that your kingdom assignment and how God will use you IS NOT about you. God will use anyone, it is about the kingdom. That is why if you choose not to obey Him he will take the annoiting that off of you and put in on someone else. His will will be done on earth, but not through you. This is why your heart must be right not focusing on the stuff that is in His hand. John 12:24-25 (NKJV) 24. "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. 25. "He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Another principle of the kingdom is that you must die. Yes that's right you must die. In the order of Christ and His kingdom to be glorified you must die. You die to yourself, your will, way and emotions to be raised to God's glory. Now Esther did not die but she was willing to. Jesus says if they hate me they will hate you if you really belong to me. Many want the kingdom, they want the power to rebuke demons and devils, they want great ministries. But are you willing to give up everything you hold dear? Are you willing to pay the cost? Are you willing to be processed? No there is no such thing as walking into a greater manifestation of the kingdom of God without a process. Within the process there is always a dyeing process, always. Don't look at any great minister and long to be them, because you don't know the cost that they had to go through to get that glory. I recently asked God why He had me waiting so long, while others move ahead of me. He responded by saying "Because of the weight". I thought uhhh, what does that mean. Well it means because of the weight of Glory God has called me to walk in, God can't give me what I want easily because of the weight of Glory He has called me to. I can't have it when I want to or I will not be able to handle it. You see this is what the process is for. God does know the dimensions and weight of Glory we have been called to that is why there is a greater process or preparation. The greater the process the greater the Glory. God's preparing us for the real kingdom of God. Let us let Esther this greater kingdom ambassador be our example of what happens when our heart is right, our motives are pure and we have a vision for our King. For more information on the process please pick up the latest copy of my book entitled: No Promise Without A Process The Makings of A True Prophet. God Bless You  As a young, single Christian woman I know that eventually I will meet someone who catches my attention, he may ask me out on a date. Notice I said he because I am a bit old fashion and personally don't believe that a woman should ever run after any man. Eventually (no time in near the future) I would like to get married and have children of my own. As a young woman who has grown up in church I have seen so much foolishness, that is nowhere near close to God nor the bible. The prospect of dating or eventually my husband finding me can seem a bit odd. Notice I did say eventually a husband, because as Christians we don't co-habitate prior to marriage, we don't test the water out before we swim (fornicate), we don't feel the car before we purchase it (participate in ANY activity that will arouse the flesh and thereby lead to fornication and eventually hell if you do not REPENT and REPEL.) Repel means to stop, repent means to ask for forgiveness, because if you repent but don't repel (stop) you really have not repented, for which you can go to HELL. Yes I said it, no I am not taking it back and if you have a problem with it open your bible and READ IT. Unfortunately we are living in a society where Christians are getting divorced at higher rates than non-Christians. Many of my Christian colleagues would secretly tell you that they have not seen an example of what they call a healthy marriage. As woman we are often subconsciously, taught somehow we are less than if we are single. The double standard is that if a man says "I am waiting on God for my spouse" we think "Oh he must be anointed, what a man of God" but if a woman says something like "I need to focus on my career or school first, I need to come into my own as a woman first" We look at her as if she has low self esteem and something is wrong with her. That same woman is looked on as if she is a snob. Having standards and not willing to compromise does not make you a snob it makes you a true woman of God, as long as you are willing to possess what you expect in someone else. Meaning don't have your laundry list of wishes about what he must have and you don't possess those same attributes. For example I love me, I have come to love who I am, I love what I stand for, the destiny God has called me to, what I want out of life, and generally my heart is for the King of Kings. Because I have been in process for a long time, I have and continue to come into my own. Yes, I have had some struggles along the way, and am continuing to grow. This year within itself has been a major transforming year for me. But the point is I LOVVEEEE me. There is no one that can beat me being me. So anyone that would catch my attention would be someone who reminds me of myself and possesses the same qualities that I possess. Because I believe opposites may attract but they do not last. So I have composed a list of kingdom principles that are imperative for Christian singles, who will eventually get married. We are making a declaration that we will not settle for less. We will not repeat cycles of our history (generational curses). We will walk into our kingdom assignment. We will not get divorced because we are prepared. We will not……. (you add on the rest based upon your life experiences.) We will not repeat, not repeat the cycles of abuse women, WE WILL NOT! These are the principles of kingdom dating in no particular order with the exception of kingdom principle number 1, which important to any and all Christians. #1 God will always connect you with people based upon your assignment. If you don't know your kingdom assignment then you are not ready for a relationship or marriage. This is very important because hooking up with someone who is not apart of your kingdom assignment will cost you your kingdom assignment and your destiny. This does not to imply that you will be ministering together but it means that your divine assignment is the same. For example you could be called to be an intercessor or counselor for which is often done in secret but your kingdom assignment is the same. That does not mean that because one public ministry is out in the open and the other is in private that their kingdom assignment is different. Scripture reference:Amos 3:3 Can two walk together unless they are agreed? On another note: how many women end up marrying a man who is in ministry and they have an anointing, but they are reduced down to being the cute lady who sits in her cute dress, but also sits on her divine assignment. I call them princesses, I am not a princess. There is nothing wrong with being a princess if that is what you are supposed to be and are content with. But if you are called to be something else and you are reduced down to a being only a princess that is a sad thing. I know I am being harsh, but it is the truth. I am not saying being a ministers wife is bad, but often women who have not walked into their divine assignment end up feeling resentful and abused, because they have to sit and watch their husband minister while they are only the side chick. If you are fulfilling your divine assignment that is fine, but often women of God will hook up with a man based upon walking in the same assignment but she is reduced down to only being a pedestal woman, who is like the husband’s tailored suits, she is only their to make him look good. So it is important that there be a God connection and not a man made one. Here is a quote from a previous post entitled A Woman: I do not want to sacrifice my purpose, my dreams, my ambitions or career for another’s. I am not a pretty princess content to sit on the side lines and watch my man fulfill his dreams and purpose while mine is not relevant and while not fulfilling my own. I am not a notch in someone else’s belt or the pedestal sent to fulfill someone else’s dream. I see any relationship as a partnership, not a dictatorship. My opinions matter and I do express them. My life matters and I will not settle for less. #2 READ PLEASE! This is very important for women called into ministry. How does this man see a woman in ministry? Does he value the anointing that you are called to walk in as much as you value his? The absolute LAST thing you want to do is to feel stuck, stippled or oppressed because you married someone that does not support you in ministry but only expects you to support them. Which is why when you meet a potential mate it must be based upon God's divine plan for your life and apart of your divine assignment. When you meet someone that is apart of your divine assignment, (this is inclusive of friends, family etc) you should always feel as if you are growing into being more than who you are not less. You should never have to convince someone of who you are? If it is a divine connection they will know. How many women have hooked up with the wrong person and the next thing you know they are worlds apart from their divine destiny. If you start hanging around someone and they subtract from your life, meaning you can't continue to go after God. (GET AWAY) This is not a divine connection this is a soul tie, which is the same a soul mate both are demonic and meant to take you away from your divine assignment. I will write further about this in a minute. If you really look back over your life and consider where things took a turn in the opposite direction from what you where called to go it is always a direct result of who you came into relationship with. This is very important for Christian men as well. Men are very visual. But if you are a man of God, God must still connect you with someone who is divinely assigned to your life. That is not to say that you hook up with someone that you don't find attractive because your divine assignment is the same. It means the outward appearance should not be the final say in your dating process. No it is not in your best interest to hook up with a princess either. Notice there is a difference between a church girl and a woman of God. A church girl is a woman, who has been raised in church, wears all the church attire, shouts the right shout and speaks in the right tongue enough to get your attention but if God reveals to you the truth about her she has no real substance to her. She doesn't know how to pray, can't really fast. So consequently hooking up with a woman like this may satisfy your flesh but will never satisfy you. (spirit, soul and body). If a man is really going after the things of God, and he hooks up with this type of woman he will constantly have to be like Moses and leave the glory cloud to deal with her emotions which were not in check from the first place. Scripture says irons sharpens iron. Psalms 27:17. So it is important for a real man of God to hook up with a real woman of God. A real woman of God, has her self together, above all she is a worshiper who is walking in her kingdom assignment. The main way to distinguish the difference between a church girl and a woman of God is that church girls are always trying to go after you, but a real woman of God will never. This is the type of woman who while everyone else is after you she is not, nor will she. A woman of God has perfected her relationship with God and again when you meet her the anointing that she walks in causes you to go after God in an unprecedented way because your passions for God and the things of the spirit are the same remember what Amos 3:3 said. There is no need to be intimidated by a real woman of God. She is who she is and does not apologize for being strong and beautiful. She is not meant to compete with you, she and you walk together in complete unison. #3 We all should no by now that the bible says clearly in 2 Corinthians 6:14 that you are not to date unbelievers. Clearly. No God does not call us to missionary or evangelical dating. But the scripture on being unequally yoked also means spirit to spirit. You are not to hook up with someone who is spiritually not on the same level as you are. So if they just got saved three years ago and you been saved twenty years that is a indication of being unequally yoked. Not that the length of time matters, more so spiritual weight matters. If you are called to carry a heavier weight in the spirit and your potential spouse doesn't even understand spiritual things you do have a problem. Often times the heavier the weight of glory you are called to, you must be around people that can handle that. Satan will always use the people closest to you to get to you if you are not careful. So ideally a spouse should be someone who is an intercessor and understands how to do battle in the spirit. For example since apart of my ministry is Deliverance Ministry, I can't be hooking up with someone who does not understand demons and spiritual warfare. I will hurt myself and that person as well because they have no real ability to ward off the devils attacks. #4 For women this is very important. Scripture says: I Corinthians 11:3 (NKJV) 3. But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Ephesians 5:22,25 (NKJV) 22.Wives, submit to your own husband, as to the Lord 25. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. I must say it but clearly the bible says that a wife is to submit to her husband. This can be hard for many of us a single woman, because many of us were raised in woman ran households or if you are like me even though my father was in the house. My mother was always the spiritual head, while my father was barely their let alone saved. I love my dad and have no hard feelings towards him. He is the only physical father that I will ever have. But the truth of the matter is that if it had not been for my mother, I would be absolutely not saved today and be no where in my life. The point is often again women hook up with men even while dating that they have no business. This person's spiritual life cannot hold a penny to theirs. And if while dating someone you are spiritually unyoked, you will be unyoked when you get married. I think when we as women read this scripture there is often fear involved. We are now so strong, independent and are so anointed. Because we generally have had few examples of healthy relationships, this scripture can appear oppressive in someway when it is not meant to be that way. When I think about my own life it was when I completely submitted to God that my life had changed so much for the better. So my physical husband ought to be the direct reflection of my spiritual life with Christ. Scriptures says he should treat me as Christ treats the church which is His bride. When I look back over my life, Christ has never made me feel anything less than a queen. He treats me so good and there is nothing He won't do for me. This is the relationship I should have with my potential husband. Again often times women end up hurt because they hook up with someone who is again not on their level spiritually and is certainly not the reflection of the church and wonder why their destiny alludes them? I never have had to argue with my husband (Christ Jesus) because I trust Him fully. I never have to worry about Him disrespecting me. I never have to convince Him that I am a woman of God and what I will not put up with. Ideally a real woman of God wants you to walk in your authority as a real man of God. But I believe most woman want to feel safe. Not necessarily physically safe but more so emotionally and spiritually safe. Now a days real Christian women are waiting on God like never before, yes we have seen a lot in our childhoods, have had to deal with hurt feelings of not having a father in our lives or real men. So we are content to wait on God, before we ever put ourselves in the same positions we grew up with. We have had to get our own inner healing and are now walking in our lives as whole beings. And when you have been delivered from your past, you certainly are not so quick to move into foolishness in your future. We want to move forward not backwards. So most woman are saying in their hearts, “is this person really someone I can trust”. "Do they respect me? " Now a days women like myself are highly educated, living on their own and can take care of themselves. For me, I am not impressed by someone’s ability to preach, prophesy or work miracles. Sorry guys but this means absolutely nothing to me. I can preach, prophesy, and cast out demons out on my own. Who are you really when no one is looking? Are you a man of integrity behind closed doors? Many are like me who have been raised in church, we have seen folks jump, shout, speak in tongues and prophesy accurately, leave the church and head straight back to the fornicating bed they left before coming to church. So the outward stuff means nothing. The devil can preach and prophesy and he is still promised eternal damnation. And so are you if you keep living a lie. But who are you really when no one is looking? The truth of the matter is a real woman of God has real perception by the Holy Spirit. God will tell a real woman of God who you are before you ever open your mouth. Sin has a spiritual scent, that people who are truly kingdom minded can sense on someone. Those people who keep participating in lifestyles that are not of God, but still preaching, jumping and shouting are only fooling themselves. You can fool some people some of the time, but a real woman of God, can spot a fool a mile away. And no we don't have to have kissed a few frogs to know one when we see one, the Holy Spirit will tell you all things. Note if someone keeps trying to get you to do things that are opposite from the scripture or that you know if God was here you would not do. THAT PERSON IS NOT OF GOD. It doesn't matter how much they say they love God or prophesy. Don't judge a person based upon their gift, but judge them based upon their fruit and yes ladies and gentlemen according to the scripture we DO judge. John 7:24 (NKJV) 24. Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment. Often times people use the don't judge scripture wrongly which really irritates me. God never indicated in the bible that you can't tell people what is right and warn them of eternally damnation never. Most of the time people who say this are in sin and don't want to hear the truth, so they say "don't judge". If that is the one scripture that we have memorized it's that one, but according to this scripture we are to judge with righteousness. Meaning judge not by the physical appearance but with the spirit. This is important in Christian dating because often times you have to call it as you see it. (spiritually see it) Call a demon and demon. When you don't call it as you see it you end up being deceived. Remember ignorance is when you don't have the knowledge of something so you do it in not knowing. Deception is when you know something but keep doing it hoping that it will end up being right which it will never. God WILL hold you accountable for what you know. So if he/she is not it, don't try to hang around them until they become it. If it is not God's will it will never be. God won't change His will for your life because you cry. He wants' your obedience. #5 Set Boundaries When you finally meet someone and you finally find yourself in love or engaged. You have to set boundaries. Don't use your Christianity, or years of being saved to justify putting yourself in foolish situations. You know what they say about a woman who meets her fiancé at his house for dinner and pray meeting? A fornicator? It is a joke but very real. Yes you are Christian, but are also a human being that lives on planet earth, not in heaven. So if you are going maintain your holiness then you set boundaries in relationship. I am old school but I believe that kissing a man who is not your husband is wrong and will only arouse your flesh. You should never be absolutely alone in either ones home. You should not listen to an old slow jam in a parked care. (yes you can still fornicate in a car so I heard) Yes, I am being sarcastic, but you'd be surprised the stupidly of so called Christians. You definitely should not be alone in each other rooms. If I even have to mention this to anyone, you know you are sooooo wrong. Come on people this is just common sense. You can figure this one on you own. I am convinced that when you really love God, you don't need anyone telling you anything. Your love for God will always show in the way you behave around others. Always. So if you are participating in a lifestyle that is not of God, then you don't love Him. Yes, I said it again, no again I will not apologize and yes if you have a problem with it again you simply need to open your bible and READ IT. By the way just to stir you in the right direction it says if you love Him, you will keep His commandments. John 14:15 This is common sense but again you'd be surprised. No absolutely no you do not get credit cards, checking accounts, cell phones etc in each others names or joint accounts. This is a privilege reserved for married people. If you are not married then you have no business doing such things. This is something that typically people who are not spiritually mature do. They have unbridled emotions and do whatever feels nature, but real Christians live by the spirit. #6 Soul Tie/Soul Mate as a real Christian you want neither. A soul tie and soul mate is the same thing. The soul mate is a intricate connection based upon your soul. But for Christians when God connects you with someone it will first be based upon His spirit, the other connections come later after marriage, so no you don't want a soul tie or a soul mate. Understand that God has a prophetic future for you and so does the devil. God will speak to you in open dreams, visions about your prophetic future and the devil will speak to you in prophetic dreams and visions. One is meant to lead to your divine destiny in God, the other is meant to lead you to your life of stagnation and far away from God's assignment on your life. When God is getting ready to you bless you into your divine assignment He will connect you with people, while requiring you to disconnect with other people. So does the devil, he will connect you with your soul mate/tie, the next thing you know a spiritual abortion takes place. By the way the devil will always disconnect your from people that God it using to position you into your destiny. Remember people who have spiritual authority over you are not trying to hurt you, neither are they jealous of your foolishness. It is not a matter of hearing a voice but determining who's voice did I hear and was it from God or a familiar spirit otherwise known as the devil imitating God. Remember God will never lead you to confusion never. So if you hook up with someone and you are constantly arguing, you keep telling them about your standards, hopes and dreams and they have a problem with that. That this is a controlling spirit (demonic), not from God. God will always speak directly to you concerning His word. His voice is always preceded and proceeded by His peace. If you have no peace then it is not God. Truth be told I am so saved, that before I go out on one date with anyone I would pray about it first to get God's permission first. That is not to say you go on a three day concecration before going on a date either. Use your discernment. A real woman of God only needs to use her discernment. She will see you coming across the room towards her and say, "alright Jesus what do you think?". You say that is crazy, but I have no time to waste and refuse to put up with anyone's foolishness. I have learned that the Holy Ghost will save you from a lot of foolishness. # 7 Are you really ready? Leave and Cleave If you are under the age of 22. You have never lived on you own. You don't know what it's like to pay a mortgage or rent on your own. You have never had an electric bill sent in your name, with expectations that you were to pay this bill on your own. You don't have a career. There is a difference between a job and a career. If you have a job working 4 to 12 at the 24 hour Wal-Mart, you are not ready for marriage. I am not dissing any of these places in fact I worked at multiple retails stores during my undergrad years so I could work while going to school, but these types of jobs don't financially sustain you. In fact if you are at a job and you have to request hours or look at a schedule to see when you are coming to work next you are NOT ready to marry anyone. (Unless you work as a nurse.) No I am not a gold digger, like I said I take care of myself. But finances is the leading cause of divorce in a marriages today. So if I have to struggle, I struggle by myself, not with a family. I always say it is one thing to play like you grown and pretend like you want to get married when you are living in your momma and daddy's house. It is another thing entirely to be grown. You are not grown when you turn eighteen years of age, you are grown when you can support yourself and have the spiritually maturity to make wise decisions based upon your own care. Mark 10: 7 (NKJV) For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. So if you cannot afford to live on your own, you are not eligible for marriage. According to the bible living with your parents is not a option. Living in someone's ghetto is not an option either, that is only for people who are not prepared. If you really heard from God He will prepare you. I don't care if you are a homeless man living on the street. If God told you you are going to get married, He will make away. If He has to He will have you to fill out an application for a fully furnished two bedroom apartment when you don't have a dime in your pocket and you still get approved, with no money down. When it is God's will He will always make provisions. If God has not made a way then, He is clearly telling you that either this is not My will or this is not My timing. Don't be fooled. God is a God of preparation. He prepares you prior to doing anything in your life. So as a woman of God who lives on her own and pays her own bills. No we can't live in your/ with your parents or my parent's home. No it does not matter how good your momma can cook. I need to go forward not backwards. And if you are reading this same post you should state the same. So when someone is requesting your hand in marriage and they give you promises with no evidence then your answer is no. You have got to show me something I could go on, but the point is you don't prepare for marriage when you get married. You prepare for marriage while you are single. Successful marriage is always related to being successfully single. For singles it is God's will that we remain single until His appointed time. It is in your single life that you find out who you are, begin working in your ministry and have a close relationship with your Father in heaven. You will never find yourself in a man, you find yourself in God and in due season He will bring the man to you. I once heard a man of God say you just need to go out and find someone, which I can never agree with. The bible clearly states that the steps of a righteousness man are ordered by God. So if He orders my steps than why can't He direct my path to my future mate. Psalms 37:23. And yes, you can be content, happy and whole in your single life. I am truly whole and happy. Not waiting on someone to rescue me. That does not mean I don't want to get married or have an attitude problem at the prospect of marriage. It does however mean that I would rather wait on God to send me a mate and be happy, than to step out of His will and be miserable. If you have a problem with your flesh, being single has nothing to do with that because the bible still says in Galatians 5:16 that if you live by the spirit you won't fulfill the lust of the flesh. So if you have a problem putting your flesh under subjection then you are not living your life as a spirit led Christian. Simple as that. So no we Christian singles are not hot in our pants waiting for someone to come and rescue our flesh. You don't marry for sheets. Marriage is not an answer for lust. Someone that has a spirit of lust in them, even when you marry them will never be satisfied because you cannot respond to a demonic spirit with your flesh. You still must deal with this spirit by the Holy Spirit. I am definitely not going to get married because I have a problem with my flesh I will get married because this is a divine connection from God. Remember marriage is a ministry. Just like any other ministry you have to be prepared for it and you also have to continue to work at it. I remember hearing this story when I was a little girl. It is a true story: -A man who had been in ministry was going through a divorce from his wife who he loved very much. The wife and children were very bitter and angry towards the man. You see he was in ministry. He would go here, there and everywhere ministering. He would wake up in the middle of the night to go and pray for other people, leaving his wife at home with the kids. He thought he was doing a great job as a minister because people were getting delivered everywhere he went. The man could not understand what was going on. So he cried out to God in anguish he said, "Why God I thought if I took care of your house you would take care of my house?" God responded by saying, "No son I was going to take care of My house it was your responsibility to take care of your house, that I gave you." You see marriage is indeed a ministry, that you must be prepared for. A wife and a family are not the side pieces on your mantel to satisfy your flesh. The most important ministry God will ever call you to is the marriage ministry. It is more important than the ability to operate in the prophetic or apostolic ministries. I believe the reason why so many great men and women of God are falling by the wayside when it comes to their marriages is because of this example given. It is never God's will to have you ministering to others more so than you minister to your own family. Lastly as singles it is important to note we do not date. Yes, I said it we do not go here there and everywhere to find a mate. Adam never went looking for Eve God saw Adam needed a wife and He arranged for her arrival. And we know that Eve certainly did not go looking for Adam. It was a divine set up by God. The point is God is our match maker. I heard a minister tell the story in church a while back. He was engaged to a woman at the church. While in worship the Lord spoke to Him and ,"said you'll be happy, but you'll never be satisfied". So the man broke off his engagement. The woman although saved and in church was not the one for him. I once heard of another young lady who was dating a guy who she thought was alright. God showed her in a dream that he had grown up in an abusive home. He showed this young lady being beat up in her dream. So she left him alone after than. So you see God is not trying to hurt us by telling us to wait on Him or in all our ways acknowledge Him. He is only trying to save us from the enemies tack ticks. Remember a woman carries the favor of God but you must be alone long enough to know who you are, your divine assignment and to rid yourself of the pain of your past. So yes, I stand proud and state loudly, YES I AM SINGLE, SAVED, DELIVERED AND WALKING IN HOLINESS. I do wish to be married one day, but I have come this far by faith and refuse to go through everything I have gone through only to throw it all to the side for someone God has not preordained for my life. I like many other real single women are waiting on God. I hope that if you are reading this article you are content to do the same. God Bless You Wait on the Lord He will give you the desires of your heart, but wait. Samaria M. Colbert © 2010 Recommended reading: God is your matchmaker By: Derek Prince God is your matchmaker By: Stephan Kerzog Wholeness in your single and married life CD Series By: Dr Creflo DollarAutonomy of An Abuser
Read it, meditate on this, and don't be deceived. Remember no relationship starts off as abusive. • Batterers have a higher incidence of alcohol and drug use than non batters. (The alcohol does not cause the abuse) • Batterers tend to have traditional sex-role expectations (male female) and be preoccupied with a "macho" ideal of manhood. • Despite their display of bravado, many batters have low self-esteem more so than non batterers. They become emotionally dependent on their mates, consequently, feel threatened by the possibility of their departure. This is often manifested as excessive jealousy, possessiveness, control and isolation from those who are supportive of you. (family, friends, etc) • Batterers frequently lack assertive communication skills and come off as alternatively passive or aggressive. They tend to resolve their emotions and problems through violence. • Batterers tend to have poor impulse control and show higher levels of hostility than non batterers. Their emotional range tends to be limited to anger, which is expressed through violent behavior. • Most male batterers experienced or witnessed childhood violence that has gone unresolved. • Batterers tend to externalize responsibility. They usually refuse to accept responsibility for their behavior, including abusive behavior; instead they blame others for making them angry, thereby excusing their actions Reference: Battered Women As Survivors An Alternative To Treating Helplessness by: Edward W. Gongolf & Ellen Fisher Lexington Books Please also refer to my previous post entitled: Domestic Violence In Faith Communities. |
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