 Grasshopper Mentality What to do when the vision God gave you intimidates you. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert It is true that intimidation can come from many different places, internally is one of them. Remember according to the scripture in Ephesians 3:20 God is the one who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. What happens when God shows you your future and it is so beyond anything you could ever imagined so much so you become intimidated by it? Many years ago, I was a freshman at Bennett College. I had a feeling of emptiness even though I had gotten saved at the age of 8. I didn’t know why I was alive and what this quiet girl from a small town had to offer. I attended a youth led college Bible study where the man of God taught a message on fasting and prayer. The message was so powerful I decided to fast because I wanted to know my purpose. I fasted for a week. Then I had an open vision. In the vision I was being used powerfully under the anointing. When the vision was at the end, I heard the audible voice of God say, “that’s it, that’s what I want you to do.” I was so astonished by the vision; it was absolutely amazing. Astonished, means greatly surprised or impressed; amazed. After the astonishment wore off the immediate feeling after that was fear. I saw myself the way I had always been. A quiet girl, from a small town, that loved to read and study. I have always been a loner but have had a deep and personal relationship with God. I had never desired to be seen, to chase money, fame, or fortune, I just wanted to know why I was alive. I never wanted to be someone great I just wanted to be someone. When God gave me this vision it was everything I never wanted or asked for, however the vision was so real it felt like it was who I really was. The contradiction in my mind between where I was and who God wanted me to be was overwhelming to my mind. I didn’t realize that it was God who chose me for it, therefore he was the one that would transform me into it. Back then I had a grasshopper mentality. What is a grasshopper mentality? When an individual has a grasshopper mentality you see yourself in light of your weakness not in light of how God sees you. It is the spirit of intimidation. Remember to not believe what God says about you is still rebellion. To rebel means to resist, repel or dismiss authority. God is the ultimate authority and to deny His worth of you is rebellion. You believe how you see yourself is how others see you. The context of our discussion today is found in Numbers 13 and 14. Moses sent out spies to spy out the land that God had already promised the people of Israel. He sent out twelve spies. Ten came back with a negative report. They said, “we were like grasshoppers in our own eyes; therefore we were like grasshoppers in their eyes.” The two that came back with a positive report Joshua and Caleb said, “let’s go out at once and conquer the land.” The difference is that Joshua and Caleb loved God and trusted him. They knew that their trust was not in their own strength but in God’s ability. By the way to assist others in reverting to fear as well is also rebellion. The negative spies caused the people of Israel to believe the lie of fear. It also teaches us from an organizational leadership perspective, strength is not in numbers. Rather the strength of your organization is in the strength of leaders who understand the vision, trust, have faith in God and are willing to do the work. I digress. The point is you can be right at the door of the greatest breakthrough in your life and the grasshopper mentality will stop you from actualizing the promise. The people with the negative report didn’t make it to the promise. Imagine after all your hard work, preparation, blood, sweat and tears and you stop you from making it in. What a waste. Those with a grasshopper mentality don’t trust God. Remember the vision that God gives you is always bigger than you. Just because you see yourself in a negative way doesn’t mean others see you that way and it doesn’t mean that is who you really are. I encourage you don’t be intimidated by what God has promised you. Don’t be intimidated or insecure. Satan can’t stop the vision from coming to pass, if you allow him in your ear, you will stop the vision God has for you. How to overcome the grasshopper mentality? Identify why you feel this way. Do you feel as if you are not enough? What negative self-perception do you believe? Examples include, “I am not smart enough, I don’t believe in myself, I was always told I wouldn’t amount to anything etc.” The next step is to identify where it came from? Was it rejection from your past, mother and father wounds, past failures etc. Then confront the lie with the word of God. You must practice scriptural meditation. Joshua 1:7-8 New Living Translation 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. 8 Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. I pray you walk into all the success that God has preordained for you. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert
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 The Psychology Of Evil
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Evil is a reprehensible act, wicked, evil impulse. Evil is forbidden desire, an intentional offense to God and a repulsiveness to righteousness. Psychology is the study of the mind that effects behavior. Things that effect behavior include biopsychosocial spiritual. Bio means your genetics and biological makeup. Psych is the mind. Social is your environment and spiritual. Where does evil come from? Let’s be honest no one starts off with the intention of being evil. First evil is a person. Genesis 4:7 New King James Version 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is [a]for you, but you should rule over it.” Evil is satan. He was the one who initially rebelled against God. Evil comes from wicked imaginations. Romans 8:7 New King James Version7 Because the [a]carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. Signs evil is present: Galatians 5:19-21 New Living Translation19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. How does an individual become evil? 1. Satan plants seeds of dissension in our minds. This is called suggestive reasoning. 2. That suggestion if not cast down, it immediately starts to take root. 3. We the ruminate on carnal reasoning to justify the thought and we don’t compare it against the word of God. 4. That ruminating takes root and causes feelings of resentment, bitterness, and grows like a cancer. 5. Eventually thoughts, leads to belief, which leads to behaviors such as any type of perversions, murder, and sexual immorality. Anyone has the propensity to be evil, if given access. What should you do? When a thought comes take authority over it. 2 Corinthians 10:5-7 King James Version 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 6 And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. Be prepared to do battle. Ephesians 6:11-18 New Living Translation 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we[a] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.[b] 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.[c] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.[d] Be intentional about your thought life Philippians 4:8 New Living Translation8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Proverbs 23:7King James Version7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  The Economy Of Faith
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Economy is the wealth and resources of a country, region and especially in terms of production, consumption of goods and services. Economy is careful management of available resources. Faith exists in the realm of the invisible. The evidence is not in what can be seen but in what can’t be seen. Faith is real, but not obtained, sustained or maintained by the natural eye. Faith gives us hope. There is a difference between the secular economy versus heaven’s economy. Now we will discuss a comparative analysis between the secular economy versus heaven’s economy.
Faith You will never access heaven’s economy without faith. Everything great God does in the earth comes through the avenue of faith. Doubt, unbelief, stops heaven’s economy from manifesting. Faith is a choice, not a force. I hope you choose well. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  The Producer
How to produce lasting, sustaining and eternal fruit. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert God has called us to bear fruit. John 15:16 New King James Version 16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. The reality is everyone is producing some type of fruit. However, what you produce can either be positive or negative, good or bad, hope or evil. What you do or not do means something. Galatians 5:19-23 New Living Translation19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. 22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! The question is not if you produce, rather what type of fruit are your producing? God wants us to carry the fruits of righteousness. The type of fruit you produce is indicative of what was planted and cultivated. Matthew 7:15-20 New Living Translation The Tree and Its Fruit 15 “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. 16 You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. 18 A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. 19 So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. 20 Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions. To produce means to cause to make, manufacture, birth and bring something forth. A producer is a person, company that makes, grows, supplies good and commodities for sale. For the kingdom’s sake, a producer is someone who cultivates, stewards, maintains and grows the resources that God has placed into their care. Ten signs you are a healthy producer
2. You must commit to following the steps that God puts you in. Many Christians make the mistake of hearing God’s plan and attempt to make their own way. Psalm 37:23 King James Version23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. 3. You must commit to being diligent. Diligence is careful consistent work, and effort. 4. You must commit to being a student. 5. Your circle, who has your ear is very important. 6. You must commit to persevere. It won’t be easy. To persevere means to do something despite difficult or delay in achieving success. 7. Heal. Commit to your healing. You will never be able to produce lasting fruit if you don’t commit to being healed.
I pray you receive this word.My hope is that you know God’s great love for you.Ephesians 3:18-20 New King James Version18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  The Pathway Of Pain That Produces Greatness In Us and Through Us
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert The reality of life is that we will experience joy, but we will also experience pain. However, for those who are in Christ pain the pain we experience produces a much greater joy in us. There are those who God wants to reveal his glory to, then there are those who he wants to use to for the glory to be revealed through. The process of being a glory producer is painful. When God reveals his glory to you, he is simply showing you something to cause you to believe. However, when God uses you, for his glory his glory flows through you. Intimacy is what is needed to be a carrier of the glory and spiritual death to the flesh. Real relationship is needed when God is revealing his glory to you. Psalm 103:7 New King James Version 7 He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the children of Israel. God wants His glory to flow through you. The process of dyeing is painful, but one day you will say it was worth it. Ultimately our desire should be that God’s glory be revealed through us. You want to be a person where the glory of God dwells, not just someone dependent on sins and wonders that cause you to believe. John 12:24 New King James Version 24 Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much [a]grain. Something has to die in us, in order for glory to be raised. Glory brings honor to God. The flesh only breeds selfish ambition. Let’s look at the process of pain from a Biblical perspective. John 11:1-43 New Living Translation The Raising of Lazarus 11 A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. 2 This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair.[a] Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. 3 So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.” 4 But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.” Look at Jesus narrative. He knows that Lazarus is dead, and he is saying that his death is for the glory of God. John 11:5-7 New Living Translation 5 So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, 6 he stayed where he was for the next two days. 7 Finally, he said to his disciples, “Let’s go back to Judea.” Look how it appears at the onset that Jesus was unconcerned and uncaring. His friend is dying and he refuses to leave as if it wasn’t an urgent matter. Have you ever felt like that? You are dyeing on the inside and it feels as though the presence of God is intentionally staying far away. 8 But his disciples objected. “Rabbi,” they said, “only a few days ago the people[b] in Judea were trying to stone you. Are you going there again?” 9 Jesus replied, “There are twelve hours of daylight every day. During the day people can walk safely. They can see because they have the light of this world. 10 But at night there is danger of stumbling because they have no light.” 11 Then he said, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but now I will go and wake him up.” 12 The disciples said, “Lord, if he is sleeping, he will soon get better!” 13 They thought Jesus meant Lazarus was simply sleeping, but Jesus meant Lazarus had died. 14 So he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. 15 And for your sakes, I’m glad I wasn’t there, for now you will really believe. Come, let’s go see him.” 16 Thomas, nicknamed the Twin,[c] said to his fellow disciples, “Let’s go, too—and die with Jesus.” 17 When Jesus arrived at Bethany, he was told that Lazarus had already been in his grave for four days. 18 Bethany was only a few miles[d] down the road from Jerusalem, 19 and many of the people had come to console Martha and Mary in their loss. 20 When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him. But Mary stayed in the house. 21 Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.” 23 Jesus told her, “Your brother will rise again.” 24 “Yes,” Martha said, “he will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day.” 25 Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life.[e] Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. 26 Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?” 27 “Yes, Lord,” she told him. “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.” 28 Then she returned to Mary. She called Mary aside from the mourners and told her, “The Teacher is here and wants to see you.” 29 So Mary immediately went to him. 30 Jesus had stayed outside the village, at the place where Martha met him. 31 When the people who were at the house consoling Mary saw her leave so hastily, they assumed she was going to Lazarus’s grave to weep. So they followed her there. 32 When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him,[f] and he was deeply troubled. 34 “Where have you put him?” he asked them. They told him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Then Jesus wept. 36 The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!” 37 But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?” 38 Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. 39 “Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them. But Martha, the dead man’s sister, protested, “Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.” 40 Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?” 41 So they rolled the stone aside. Then Jesus looked up to heaven and said, “Father, thank you for hearing me. 42 You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” 43 Then Jesus shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” John 11:45 New Living Translation 45 Many of the people who were with Mary believed in Jesus when they saw this happen. Jesus stayed away initially because he knew Lazarus assignment was not to be healed from a near death sickness, rather it was for him to die. Like Lazarus had to die there are somethings that must die in us. What must die: (According to Galatians 5:19-21 TLB) Selfish motives Selfish ambition Unbelief Idolatry Sin Pride The need to seek validation from men. (Being a people pleaser) The works of the flesh Jealousy Unforgiveness Anger Complaints Criticism The feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own group. Drunkenness Religious spirit Wrong doctrine. The scripture says that anyone who participates in these things, the kingdom of God cannot be found in them, therefore they cannot be carriers of God’s glory. Let’s discuss the process of pain as found in John 11. Grief, Lazarus had died. Some relationships must die in our lives. What/who are you grieving? You can grieve a relationship or person that is still alive. Disappointment and the feeling of betrayal. As stated, Jesus appeared to be unconcerned about the plight of his friend Lazarus. His sister felt pain because they didn’t understand why he intentionally didn’t come when he was first informed of Lazarus condition. This is how we often feel when God doesn’t relieve our pain right away. The feeling of being forsaken and forgotten. Although we are never forsaken, when God doesn’t initially responds to your pain, it feels like he has forsaken and abandoned us. The pain of feeling disregarded, forgotten, despair, anguish, and unbelief. Notice in verse 40, after the people saw Lazarus raised from the dead then many believed. Lazarus testimony was more powerful because he was raised from the dead, rather than his sickness healed. You must die for the glory of God to be revealed in you. What makes people not endure the process of pain? According to Matthew 13:1-23 Not understanding Not having deep roots and turning away when problems and persecution come. Worries and the lure of wealth. Romans 8:35-39 New Living Translation 35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”[a]) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Nothing separates us from the promises of God. We can feel separated from God. Romans 5:3-6 New King James Version 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces [a]perseverance; 4 and perseverance, [b]character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. 1 Peter 1:6-9 New King James Version 6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been [a]grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, When you endure the process of pain, greatness, power, and authority is raised in you. When you endure the pain, then greatness is birthed out in you. I encourage you to finish strong, stand. If you are in the midst of pain, don’t give up or turn away it’s all a part of the process. The pain you may be experiencing is producing the glory out of you. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  Why God makes us wait
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Waiting is one of the hardest things to do. There is a time in between when the word is spoken and when the promise will manifest. The in between time is hard because often we wait much longer than anticipated. It is while waiting that satan whispers in our ear, suggesting that it is not going to happen. There are some who stop waiting because they are afraid that it won’t happen. What you do while waiting is crucial and it determines your success of failure. Successfully waiting determines whether or not you actually make it to the promise. Waiting is not a time of complacency but a time of being prepared. While waiting you experience trials, and tribulations but remember it is only meant to prepare us for the promise. Why must be wait? Because there is an appointed time for your vision to manifest. Right now, is not the time. Habakkuk 2:3 New Living Translation 3 This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. God doesn’t always reveal when the specific vision will manifest. The in between time is meant to increase and develop your faith. If you knew exactly when it would happen you wouldn’t need faith. Acts 1:7 New Living Translation 7 He replied, “The Father alone has the authority to set those dates and times, and they are not for you to know. God often tells us what our end will be at the beginning so that we can have hope while being tested and waiting. Isaiah 46:10 New King James Version 10 Declaring the end from the beginning, And from ancient times things that are not yet done, Saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, And I will do all My pleasure,’ God makes you wait because he is preparing you for it. He is also preparing it for you. Not only are you being developed but your gift is being developed. You are the gift. What is in your hand is the gift. Proverbs 18:16 New King James Version 16 A man’s gift makes room for him, And brings him before great men. Your character is being developed. Romans 5:4-6 New Century Version 4 And patience produces character, and character produces hope. 5 And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us. 6 When we were unable to help ourselves, at the right time, Christ died for us, although we were living against God. You have to wait because you are birthing something. Similar to a woman who is pregnant. The moment she conceives, is not the moment she gives birth. You are pregnant with a purpose. God’s timing is perfect Because God’s plan for you is perfect. Jeremiah 29:11 New King James Version11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. It may sound harsh but remember God is perfect. We must trust him, even when we don’t agree with his methods. We can trust him and in the end, we will be glad that we waited. We will be able to say it was worth the wait. What should you do? Don’t give up. You should be preparing for an opportunity that you don’t know the specific time it will happen. You have an assignment, you must complete while waiting. Your completion dictates your promise. What you produce in your waiting season indicates your level of success during your revealing season . Finally Luke 8:17 New King James Version17 For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light. Your revealing will come, just wait on it. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  You are not forsaken; you are not forgotten.
© 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert This blog is near and dear to my heart because I’ve had times in my life where I felt forsaken and forgotten. I have a quiet personality; I have often been overlooked and forgotten by man. I am writing this blog to encourage someone from a place that I have been. To be forsaken means to feel abandoned or deserted. It means to be given up on or to leave. Remember Hebrews 13:5 God says I will never leave you nor forsake you. Just because you feel forsaken doesn’t mean you are forsaken. To be forgotten means to be treated with inattention or to disregard. It means to be obsolete to cease from doing. To lose remembrance of. To cease to remember or notice. Isaiah 49:14-16 New King James Version 14 But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me, And my Lord has forgotten me.” 15 “Can a woman forget her nursing child, [a]And not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you. 16 See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me. There are times in our life when we feel forgotten and forsaken. Before we discuss what to do about it let’s explore why you may have felt this way. You have been forsaken by people you love. Psalm 27:10 New King James Version 10 When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take care of me. David said, “when”, it means there are times when we will be forsaken by people who are family. However, remember man’s actions towards you doesn’t dictate God’s. You’ve been hidden by God. God often hides us in plain sight to develop us. Remember Joseph who had a dream. His process into fulfilling that dream included seasons of being hidden. You’ve waited much longer than expected. Habakkuk 2:3 New Living Translation 3 This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. You’ve been rejected by people. Remember rejected by people doesn’t mean rejected by God. You’ve experienced a series of disappointments. Galatians 6:9 King James Version 9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. You have a quiet personality. Remember just because you are quiet doesn’t mean you are not a powerhouse. Isaiah 30:15 New King James Version 15 For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: “In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” You’ve been damaged by past experiences and feel as though there is no resolve. You are alone. You are still waiting. Remember you are not abandoned. Feelings don’t dictate fact. Those who are called of God, are often hidden for his specific purpose. Mark 4:22 New King James Version 22 For there is nothing hidden which will not be revealed, nor has anything been kept secret but that it should come to light. In God’s time He will reveal you. Be Encouraged © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  The Cost of Being Chosen
© 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Matthew 22:14 For many are called but few are chosen. To be chosen means to be called out, to decide on to settle on, to be hand-picked, elected, and to make one’s mind up. For many years I never understood what the statement called but few chosen meant. I thought within myself if I called you doesn’t it mean I chose you. So doesn’t that mean you have been chosen? Not quite, I know it sounds confusing. Then I heard Benny Hinn do a teaching on this very thing and it made sense. It means many have been invited, but few chosen. It is those who have been properly prepared that are the chosen. Let me explain. According to the text in Matthew 22, it is the parable of the wedding feast. Say at the feast you invite a lot of people, but there are a few certain one’s who you expect to show up like close friends and family. In the parable in Matthew 22, the king’s son is getting married, and he invites people. Let’s call these people the called. However, many of them reject the invitation. They all had some excuse as to why they couldn’t show up. Some either ignored the invitation, others treated the servants who invited the guess shamefully, even killing the servants. All because of an invitation. The wealthy king couldn’t be deterred so he invited everyone, including guest that were not originally invited. Most of us know that if you attend a wedding, whether you are the selected guest or not you dress up for a wedding. A few people show up without any type of wedding gear on. Talk about disrespect. Imagine someone showing up to your wedding with yesterday’s clothes on and smelling like they hadn’t bathed. Well, that is an analogy to the parable in Matthew 22. The king was so shocked he threw the guest out that had no wedding entire on. The meaning of the statement many are called few are chosen really means that many are invited (the called), however it is those who have been properly processed and prepared that have been qualified to be the chosen. The chosen does not mean those who were initially invited, rather it was those who have responded to the invitation, prepared, and then presented themselves at the feast. It is when you are prepared, meaning you have been washed by the blood of Jesus. You have endured challenges, test, and trials. You have passed through the process of pain that you are now called the elect of God. How do you know you have been qualified to be the chosen?
Your cost has been great, but you can truly say despite the pain it has been worth it. Luke 14:28 New King James Version 28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it-- Living for Jesus is not easy, but it is worth it. My words for you are simple. There are some of you who will read this blog who have endured one of the most painful seasons of your life. For everything you have endured God has qualified you. Great favor is getting ready to manifest in your life because God can trust you with his heart, therefore he can trust you with what is in his hand. Because your heart is right before God, he rewards your faithfulness. The world is getting ready to be in greater anguish because of what is getting ready to happen. (yes, I do know but chose not to write about it in this blog) While the world is crying, you’ll be rejoicing. Divine wealth transfers are getting ready to happen. Exposure is coming but it is not meant to embarrass you, but to propel you, into your kingdom assignment. God delights in you. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  Self-Sabotage
© 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Sabotage means to deliberately destroy, or damage, it means to obstruct something that was meant to give you an advantage. It also means to wreck, vandalism, destruction, and disruption. Lisa Jeffs defines self-sabotage as “when we actively or passively take steps to prevent ourselves from reaching our goals.” Self-sabotage is the act of destroying or damaging something deliberately so that it doesn’t work correctly. There are times that we must be honest with ourselves and say we are our own worst enemy. When you self-sabotage you are actively committed to your own failure and demise through intentional passive means. Self-sabotage is similar to imposter syndrome, the difference is that with imposter syndrome you may have the feeling of inadequacy, but you still move forward. When you self-sabotage you are committed to not moving forward and you actively regress. When an individual self-sabotages they are actively committed to their own failure and demise through intentional passive means. Why do people self-sabotage? They have an unhealthy view of self, low confidence, and feelings of worthlessness. You will never achieve what’s in your potential when you don’t have a healthy view of yourself. Past fears and trauma. The trauma brain remembers what happened in the past, and wants to avoid future pain. So, they self-sabotage to avoid a future that hasn’t happened yet. No faith. Remember to achieve you must have faith in God’s ability and what he can and will do through you. Self-hatred Self-hatred is really rooted in self rejection. If you don’t like yourself, you’ll sabotage your own efforts. Disobedience. It may sound odd that disobedience is a form of self-sabotage, but it is. You have a grasshopper mentality. In Numbers 13:33 The people of Israel refused to go into the land God promised them, they said “we were like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and so we were in their eyes.” When you self-sabotage it has more to do with how you see yourself not how other’s see you. You are relying on your own strength, instead of God. Your identity is not found in Christ. Remember fathers provide, protect and give identity. When you self-sabotage you are not secure about who God has called and identified you to be. How do we move forward from self-sabotage? Don’t ignore it, denial won’t walk you into healing and freedom. You must recognize patterns of self-sabotage in your life. Therapy, inner healing strategy will help to uproot the cause of self-sabotage. Remember self-sabotage is really rooted in a deep sense of self hatred. Therapy helps to identify the root and pull it out. You must also acknowledge the wounds in your heart before the father. Remember as you begin the process of allowing God to heal your wounds, he will give you a divine exchange. He will exchange beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, praise instead of despair. When you exchange something, you give them something and in return they give you something of equal or lesser value. So when you exchange with God, you give him your pain, he responds by giving you his joy. Remember perfect love cast out fear according to I John 4:18. So if perfect love cast out fear, it also cast out self-sabotage that is rooted in fear. Finally, I want to tell you about Gideon. Gideon was the son of Joash, from the Abiezrite clan in the tribe of Manasseh. The people of Israel had rebelled against God. God had warned them prior that if they rebelled, he would hand them over to their enemy. The Midianites were the enemy. They had the people of Israel in hiding. They would do things like take all their crops, livestock and anything used for economy, so the people of Israel were left hungry. Gideon was in the winepress in hiding pressing wheat. Gideon, is considered weak, fearful and a coward. The angel of the Lord brings him a message. He begins the message by saying, “Gideon you mighty man of valor.” Valor means great courage in the face of danger, especially in battle. The point is how you see yourself and how God sees you is not the same. Gideon has this discourse with the angel of the Lord. He finally agrees to the assignment. During the discussion Gideon had concerns about his strength to do the job. In Judges 6:14 God responds by saying, “Go in the strength you have and rescue Israel from the Midianites, I am sending you.” The point is God sees you as a mighty man or woman of valor. You already have the strength and ability you need to move forward into the assignment. Don’t let self sabotage cause you to move from a place God has placed you. You are already mighty and you have the victory. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  Naysayers
How to deal with critics, opposers and unbelievers. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert I was having a conversation with a young lady the other day. She was discouraged because she has a goal that she longs for and is working towards. Yet another person is constantly telling her that she can’t do it. I told her that someone’s opinion of her doesn’t matter, and the best revenge is success. That led me to think about a time I was in her shoes. I remember the pain of someone telling me what I couldn’t do and how hurt I was. There are people in life who live their life seeing limitations and because they are limited, they think you should be limited to. I’ll tell you about a moment in my story. Over twenty years ago, I was a senior in college and was in the process of applying to graduate school. As a part of my entrance criteria I had to get letters of recommendation from my professors. I decided to ask my professor we will call her Dr. H for a letter of recommendation. I also had experienced a discouraging comment from my internship supervisor. My internship supervisor told me I was too quiet, and my personality would not fit into the human services field. I brought this to my professor’s attention because she was the head over the internship department. Before I could ask her about my letter of recommendation, she explained to me that she also thought my quiet and calm personality was not a good fit to be in the human services field. She basically implied I was too quiet and needed to consider another career path. Not the most helpful thing to tell someone who is applying to graduate school and in her senior year. That devastated me. I thought my internship supervisor was out of line and I went to my professor for intervention. Imagine the pain as I went home and cried. What was so wrong with being quiet or discerning? The point is a critic can devastate your soul and cause you to question what God has called you to. Don’t be surprised if critics come in packs. By the way I did get accepted into graduate school. I was so hurt and afraid of rejection I didn’t ask any of my other professors for letters of recommendation because I didn’t want to hear another put down. That was over 20 years ago, I have been in the same field they told me I wasn’t cut out for. Ironically it is my calm personality and quiet nature that has been one of the biggest assets in my career. I am not a pushover and have never been by any means. My authentic self has been employed in inpatient hospitals, crisis centers, community mental health centers and now my own private practice. My clients have always complimented me on how calm and soothing my personality is. I actively listen to their hurts and try to respond as best I can. What I have learned is that before people want advice, they want to be heard. What someone else thought I wasn’t fit for, ended up being the very thing I get complimented about regularly. The point is on your journey to success and fulfilling your dream will come across naysayers, critics, and unbelievers. They won’t believe in you or your dream. You have a responsibility to push forward. I am telling you like I told that young lady the other day. Someone will always have an opinion about you based upon who they think you are. It’s not what they say about you that matters it’s what you know about you that matters most. Today we will discuss how to deal with naysayers, critics, opposers and unbelievers. Naysayers are persons who criticize, object, or opposes something. Don’t get me wrong I am not against positive critique that is about teaching or training someone. I am against the critic that is baseless and meant to discourage you from pursuing your passion. A critic is a person who expresses an unfavorable opinion. A unbeliever is someone without faith or driven by fear. They don’t believe in your dreams and feel as though you shouldn’t believe in your dreams either. To give you a Biblical perspective we are going to review the journey of Nehemiah. I am not going to post the entire text. I will reference the scripture and I encourage you to review it on your own. The back story is Nehemiah has decided to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem and was given the full support and permission by the king to take a leave of absence to complete the work. I want you to put yourself in the life of Nehemiah to see parallels to your life. Just like Nehemiah you have a dream, a vision, a business, something you are building. Like Nehemiah you will come across critics, opposers and unbelievers. Nehemiah’s haters came in the form of Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem. These are individuals who opposed Nehemiah’s work, even though it has nothing to do with them. Remember your critics are in the business of minding your business instead of their own. They are really motivated by the spirit of jealousy and envy. Reference Nehemiah 2:19 The first thing your critics, opposers and unbelievers do is to scoff and be contemptuous. Scoff means to openly express a feeling of deep hatred and disapproval. To be contemptuous means to have a feeling of deep hatred, disapproval. This is exactly what Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem did. They are stuck and secretly despise that you are moving forward. Everyone is not going to support your dream, you have a choice to stay stuck with them or keep moving forward. I suggest you keep moving forward. The next thing that Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem did was bring false accusations. In Nehemiah’s case they accused him of doing something unethical and illegal. They suggested that he had stolen and that he had not gotten permission from the king to move forward when in fact he did. This is when your critics despise your moving forward, so they use accusations to distract your efforts. Scripture tells us that Nehemiah’s enemies became very angry when they learned that he was moving onward even with their best efforts to stop him. They represent the people who are angry that you keep being persistent despite their lies, rumors and deceit. Like Nehemiah you must keep moving forward. Reference Nehemiah 4:3 Nehemiah’s haters began to minimize his efforts. They said, “Your wall is going to fall, and collapse if a fox walks on it.” It implies that the wall would not be strong enough and they were not skilled enough to be able to handle such a massive project. Have you ever had anyone tell you or imply that your vision is too great for you? You’re not smart enough, your personality doesn’t fit the task ahead. Such was Nehemiah’s case. They are like Nehemiah’s haters they want to discourage you; they want to get in your head and tell you what you can’t accomplish. Like Nehemiah you know where this is going. Keep moving forward. Reference 4:4 It states that Nehemiah prayed, and he kept moving forward. Never allow anyone to get in your head and cause you to give up. He persisted. Ironically Nehemiah’s haters were very persistent themselves, they gathered more enemies to come against him. Ironically these were enemies who previously didn’t like each other. Yet they are unifying to come against Nehemiah’s and the people of Israel’s efforts. Nehemiah is quoted saying, “But we prayed and guarded ourselves and around the city.” And you know the drill they kept moving forward. You must guard your heart and do the same. When the people working on the wall with him learned about the threats against them, they started being discouraged and afraid. He said, “Don’t be afraid, remember the Lord.” Nehemiah never stopped. Remember what God said in Romans 8:31 Romans 8:31 New King James Version 31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Nehemiah understood that it wasn’t in his or the people of Israel’s strength alone that they were building, it was God who was doing the work through them and would also fight for them. And his enemies stilled persisted in chapter six they kept plotting. In verse 9 Nehemiah’s said, “they are trying to intimidate us, discourage us and get us to stop the work, but we continued with greater determination.” And that is just what they did. Their enemies continued. They presented them with false documents, false prophets, and lies. Yet Nehemiah persisted and eventually they finished what they started. The point is Nehemiah’s persistence as a leader despite great opposition is a great example for us today. Maybe your haters won’t be as persistent as Nehemiah’s, however some of you will have individuals who are more persistent. Look at his example to gain strength. You will always have people who are driven by their own selfish motives, jealousy, envy and greed. Like Nehemiah don’t allow discouragement to set in and cause you to give up. Galatians 6:9 New King James Version9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. When God is for you, even with their best efforts they won’t be able to stop you. Man’s opinion doesn’t stop God. God will finish what he started in you. Philippians 1:6 New King James Version6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; The New Living Translation reads, “he will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” My only advice to you is let Nehemiah’s testimony be your lifeline. You want your testimony to be, despite all the obstacles she or he faced, they kept going. You will get there, it won’t be easy, it will be worth it. Don’t give up. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Dream Killers and Vision Stealers: What stops you from manifesting success and how to breakthrough.12/24/2021  Dream Killers and Vision Stealers What stops you from manifesting success and how to breakthrough. © Dr. Samaria M Colbert 2021 The road to success is never a straight line. The road is full of ups, downs, hurts, pains, joys, and lessons. Working towards your goal is never easy but it is worth it. There is an old gospel song by Luther Barnes, entitled, “I am still holding on.” One lyric states, “there were many who started out with me, but now they’re all gone astray. But I am still holding on.” I don’t know what caused the writer to compose those lyrics, however they are true to life. Everyone can shout and praise when they hear what God has instore for them. However, many won’t get to the promise God has called them to. This is why scripture says many are called, few are chosen. Many are called, but it is when you endure the process of preparation that qualifies the chosen. We need to consider what stops individuals from operating in their God given purpose and seeing kingdom success. 1. You Self-doubt, self-sabotage, and an overall unhealthy view of yourself will stop you from manifesting success. You will never go beyond the view you have of yourself. Philippians 4:13 New King James Version 13 I can do all things through [a]Christ who strengthens me. If God says you can do all things and you are saying, “I can’t” you won’t. 2.Not letting go of the past. Past failures, mistakes, dead relationships all stop us from manifesting success. Look at what Jesus said to those who wanted to follow Jesus while going backward. Luke 9:59-62 New Living Translation 59 He said to another person, “Come, follow me.” The man agreed, but he said, “Lord, first let me return home and bury my father.” 60 But Jesus told him, “Let the spiritually dead bury their own dead![a] Your duty is to go and preach about the Kingdom of God.” 61 Another said, “Yes, Lord, I will follow you, but first let me say good-bye to my family.” 62 But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” It may sound harsh, and I am certainly not saying you can’t attend a funeral. The analogy of the scripture was suggesting you keep going back to a dead relationship. You’ll never move forward looking back. There are some people, some places, somethings you must leave in the past in order to move forward. Philippians 3:13-14 New Living Translation 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,[a] but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. 3. Being double minded. To be double minded means to not be fully committed to the goal. One minute you are full of zeal and determination the other minute your uncertain of what your supposed to do. James 1:7-8 New King James Version7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. 4. Fear Fear goes back to having an unhealthy view of yourself. Nonetheless, remember fear always wants to drive a wedge between what God wants for us to do. You don’t get brownie points, or sympathy success by being afraid. You get nothing. If you do nothing, you will get nothing. Being nice and scared doesn’t get you to the promises of God Matthew 25:14-30 Living Bible 14 “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going into another country, who called together his servants and loaned them money to invest for him while he was gone. 15 “He gave $5,000 to one, $2,000 to another, and $1,000 to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities—and then left on his trip. 16 The man who received the $5,000 began immediately to buy and sell with it and soon earned another $5,000. 17 The man with $2,000 went right to work, too, and earned another $2,000. 18 “But the man who received the $1,000 dug a hole in the ground and hid the money for safekeeping. 19 “After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to him to account for his money. 20 The man to whom he had entrusted the $5,000 brought him $10,000. 21 “His master praised him for good work. ‘You have been faithful in handling this small amount,’ he told him, ‘so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Begin the joyous tasks I have assigned to you.’ 22 “Next came the man who had received the $2,000, with the report, ‘Sir, you gave me $2,000 to use, and I have doubled it.’ 23 “‘Good work,’ his master said. ‘You are a good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over this small amount, so now I will give you much more.’ 24-25 “Then the man with the $1,000 came and said, ‘Sir, I knew you were a hard man, and I was afraid you would rob me of what I earned,[a] so I hid your money in the earth and here it is!’ 26 “But his master replied, ‘Wicked man! Lazy slave! Since you knew I would demand your profit, 27 you should at least have put my money into the bank so I could have some interest. 28 Take the money from this man and give it to the man with the $10,000. 29 For the man who uses well what he is given shall be given more, and he shall have abundance. But from the man who is unfaithful, even what little responsibility he has shall be taken from him. 30 And throw the useless servant out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ Look at the principles in the text found in Matthew. Remember when you are faithful over a few things God will then increase you to many. Another translation reads, “you have been faithful over a few things I will make you ruler over cities.” When you produce and are faithful, you then are given more. However, notice the excuse of the wicked servant. What made him wicked was that he was afraid, and he did nothing but hide. Many Christians are in this same state. They think because they are not committing overt sin, they are doing fine. If you are doing nothing, you are still considered wicked and lazy. You don’t get brownie points because you’re a good sinless Christian. Lazy fearful Christians don’t walk into success. 5. Failure to prepare. Remember time, chance and opportunity happen to us all. It is the ones who are prepared that will walk into doors of opportunity. When doors open you don’t want to be somewhere in the wrong place trying to get prepared when you should have been prepared all along. Reference Matthew 25:1-12 Matthew 25:1-12 New Living Translation 25 “Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten bridesmaids[a] who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 The five who were foolish didn’t take enough olive oil for their lamps, 4 but the other five were wise enough to take along extra oil. 5 When the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. 6 “At midnight they were roused by the shout, ‘Look, the bridegroom is coming! Come out and meet him!’ 7 “All the bridesmaids got up and prepared their lamps. 8 Then the five foolish ones asked the others, ‘Please give us some of your oil because our lamps are going out.’ 9 “But the others replied, ‘We don’t have enough for all of us. Go to a shop and buy some for yourselves.’ 10 “But while they were gone to buy oil, the bridegroom came. Then those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was locked. 11 Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, ‘Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!’ 12 “But he called back, ‘Believe me, I don’t know you!’ 6. Not being planted in the right soil. 7. Allowing persecution and affliction to discourage you then walk away from your vision. 8. Worries of life that you allow to distract you. 9. Deceitfulness of riches. You are easily lured away or distracted because you see some guru with a wad of money and fancy car, and you run to that. If you had stuck with the plan God gave you, you would have received that and much more. These are people who go from one business to the next chasing money, rather than being obedient to God. If you operate in purpose money will come. 10. The desire for things that don’t produce fruit. Mark 4:13-20 New Living Translation 13 Then Jesus said to them, “If you can’t understand the meaning of this parable, how will you understand all the other parables? 14 The farmer plants seed by taking God’s word to others. 15 The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message, only to have Satan come at once and take it away. 16 The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. 17 But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word. 18 The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God’s word, 19 but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced. 20 And the seed that fell on good soil represents those who hear and accept God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!” I don’t know about you, but I want to be a producer. We must be planted in the correct soil. 11. Having no faith or having faith with no concerted effort. Remember having faith alone is not going to get you to success. You must do something. Hebrews 11:6 New Living Translation 6 And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. James 2:26 New King James Version 26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. Hebrews 11:1 New King James Version 11 Now faith is the [a]substance of things hoped for, the [b]evidence of things not seen. 12. Finally, you must watch who has your ear. Listening to wrong information will cause you to be stuck, and regress. Galatians 3:1 New King James Version 3 O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you… Bewitched means to entice, trick or lure in a deceptive way. Another translation reads, who beguiled you. Notice the question ask “who?” In the beginning this was the strategy of Lucifer. God asked Adam and Eve Genesis 3:11 New King James Version 11 And He said, “Who told you that you were naked?.... Remember deception comes through conversation. Watch who has influence and has your ear. What should you do? Take an inventory of where you went wrong. Notice I didn’t say who did you wrong. I didn’t say who didn’t help you. You must get away from that victim mentality that prevents you from taking responsibility for yourself. When you are working towards something God will send people to come alongside you. Nonetheless, no one is going to help you build from nothing. Take responsibility. Determine to begin again. Repent for allowing distractions to deter you. Ask God for clear instructions then write the vision down. Habakkuk 2:2 New King James Version The Just Live by Faith 2 Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, Set SMART goals and determine to implement them SMART goals · Specific · Measurable (give yourself deadlines) · Attainable · Relevant · Time specific Make 2022 your year of moving forward and no longer staying stuck. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  Imposter Syndrome
A Faith Based Intervention © Dr. Samaria M Colbert Imposter syndrome is a strong feeling of inferiority despite proven success. It is the underlying belief that you don’t deserve what you have accomplished, despite your hard work. It is the internal belief that you are incompetent and will eventually be found out. It is the feeling of low self-worth, despite your hard work. Imagine all the blood, sweat, and tears you have gone through to get to where you are only to struggle with the feeling that you simply aren’t good enough or undeserving. As in many things I write about there is an underlying spiritual issue as it relates to imposter syndrome. Anything that attempts to remove you from your purpose and have you question the place that God has put you is really the voice of the accuser. His agenda is to stop you from manifesting the promises of God through your chosen profession, ministry, and vocation. The good news is getting new information starts you on the course of believing what God has said and done through you is true and will continue to be. You are not successful by accident or happenstance. You are favored of God, it doesn’t mean it came easy but it did come. You don’t have to relinquish your promise because you don’t believe you belong. Philippians 1:6 New King James Version 6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; Let’s start by talking about signs you struggle with imposter syndrome.
How to get free? You must acknowledge your pain before the father. Remember God won’t heal you from what you don’t acknowledge. Acknowledgement puts you on the path to uprooting this false belief and then healing so you can walk in confidence. Identify where the false belief began. Were you bullied? What happened? What was the event or series of events that taught you subconsciously you were not enough? Identify that false belief. Then compare what you thought with what the word of God has to say about you. You’re going to have to make a habit of meditating on scriptures that will affirm yourself worth. Your transformation will come but not overnight. Joshua 1:7 New Living Translation7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Remember ultimately God is the one who makes you successful, not your own self efforts. Once you put your hope and faith in God, he responds by making you successful. Isaiah 40:29 New Living Translation29 He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Remember when you acknowledge your weakness before the father, he will respond by giving you strength. Deuteronomy 8:18 New Living Translation 18 Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath. Psalm 75:6-7 King James Version6 For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. 7 But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another. Hopefully you are seeing a recurring theme in Deuteronomy and Psalm, when our dependency is on God, he is the one that exalts us. The point is that imposter syndrome wants us to focus on ourselves but focus on God and you’ll be successful to others and within yourself. God Bless © Dr. Samaria M Colbert   Breaking Free From Codependency © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic that is rooted in the spirit of power, control, and manipulation. In Christian circles we call codependency an unhealthy soul tie. Codependency is a form of enmeshment where individuals expected to think, feel, act and grow in the same way to their own detriment. In the codependent relationship an individuals’ thoughts, ideas, actions, behaviors, and opinions are subject to the domination of another person. The other person is controlling, manipulative and isolative. When one is in a codependent relationship, they relinquish their right to individual autonomy to the control of an abuser. Remember abuse doesn’t have to be physical, it can also be emotional or psychological as well. Codependency can be found in interpersonal relationships, romantic relationships, parental relationships including family. Codependency is never healthy and based upon manipulation. Healthy relationships are interdependent, while codependent relationships are not. In interdependent relationships your individuality is honored and respected, while seeing the value in relationship to others. When you’re in an interdependent relationship you still grow as an individual, while recognizing the unique goals, needs, and opinions of another. You don’t need to lose yourself to be in a relationship. Let’s look at what the Bible says about interdependent relationships. Proverbs 27:17 New Living Translation 17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. In interdependent relationships you are challenged to be the better version of you, they don’t try to control you. 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 New Living Translation One Body with Many Parts 12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,[a] some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.[b] 14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? 18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” 22 In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. 23 And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, 24 while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. 25 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. 27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. The scripture in first Corinthians indicates healthy interdependent relationships. We recognize our differences, while recognizing we are a part of one body, one spirit. We are still unique and the same. We recognize our different positions within the body of Christ, but one person is not less than or more than the other. Different is not deficient, it’s just different. Codependent relationships are different in that they consider your individuality bad or a sin. In interdependent relationships we are placed within the body where God has assigned us, not by a controlling manipulative family member. Interdependent relationships are based upon mutual honor and respect. Signs you are in a codependent relationship Your unique individuality is frowned upon, you feel stuck and stagnant. You are put in a specific role within the family, that a controlling person benefits from. You don’t really benefit from the role you were placed in. I is considered a dirty word within your relationship. Control, manipulation is a reoccurring theme within your relationship. Unhealthy behaviors are the norm, healthy behaviors are frowned upon. For example, if you grew up in the home where everyone drinks alcohol, then you decide to get sober, you may be mistreated because of your newfound sobriety. Generational curses and intergenerational traumas are found within your family dynamic. Repeated unhealthy cycles. You feel as if you don’t have a sense of self, and that you can’t get free. You feel as if your souls are intertwined. You suffer with spiritual stockholm syndrome. That means you recognize you are being held captive, and bound in your mind by your abuser, but you have feelings of trust and affection towards your capture. You can pinpoint who the controller or controllers are within your family. You have a long-standing pattern of passivity. My pastor calls this passive righteousness. It means you are enabling behaviors, but because you are not actually doing the abuse, you feel as though you are acting in righteousness. This is not true. If you are in a getaway car while a store is being robbed, you still go to jail with the other assailants because you were in the car. Enabling someone else’s behavior means you secretly are agreeing to it and will suffer the same consequences as if you were the one committing the crime. You lack a sense of self. If you really think about it, you may feel like you don’t know who you are anymore since getting into that relationship Parentification of adults. This is when grown adults are parenting grown adults. Meaning you are clothing, feeding, and taking care of well abled adults. Or it can be the other way around, you are the adult child, who is feeding, clothing, and taking care of well abled parents. This is not referring to when you are taking care of aging or ailing family members. You can identify your role within the unhealthy family roles. You know in your heart your relationship with your family feels like a burden, it is damaging to you to be in their presence, and it feels like bondage. How to get free 1. Recognize that there is a problem. Often families can stay stuck in the place of denial for generations. Remember you will never get free from what you don’t acknowledge. There is a problem, hiding it from yourself won’t bring you to healing. 2. Depending on your identified role, you must determine what is in your responsibility and what is not. For example, if you have had the role of taking care of adults that is not your responsibility, what is your responsibility is taking care of yourself and your children. 3. Remember it’s going to be a process not an overnight journey. You’re in the process of rewiring your brain, to think, act and behave differently. There are steps to change. Precontemplation- You think about it every now and again but make no intention of changing. Often times we stay stuck in familiarity because what is familiar is our norm and change provokes fear of the unknown. Contemplation- You become more aware of the problem and how it is negatively affecting you. You think about it, but you haven’t made the full commitment to change. Preparation- You have determined that it’s a problem, you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. You have now determined to make a change. Action: You now are making actions steps to make the change. Your change includes setting clear and specific healthy boundaries. Remember all healthy boundaries have healthy relationships. All unhealthy relationships, unhealthy boundaries or lack of boundaries are somewhere in the midst. Maintenance-sustained changed, and behavior. Relapse-you may go back repeatedly into old behaviors, patterns before you finally make lasting changes. As a warning at this point you may be blacklisted, shunned, even become the black sheep of the family for making a change. Reference my blog The Black Sheep. However, at this point you have had glimpses of peace and have decided that your peace is worth the cost. Finally, what are your action steps. Remember actions steps don’t have to be giant leaps or steps, rather baby steps. Start with a commitment to renew your mind. You may not have the strength to leave right away but you can start by putting new information in your mind, once your mind starts changing your body will follow. Romans 12:2 but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Commit to flooding your mind with information, as you do this you are giving your heart muscle supernatural strength. Commit to meditating on scriptures, about God’s deliverance. Read more books that specifically speak to your situation, this will also help you to learn you and why you do what you do. I recommend the book: Boundaries Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Codependent No More. YouTube messages from other Youtubers about codependency. Determine the life you want to live, set boundaries, set smart goals and work towards them. Eventually you will get stronger to be able to remove yourself from the situation. Ephesians 6:12 King James Version 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Remember it’s a spiritual a battle, but God has giving you what you need to fight. He also fights for you. Exodus 14:14 New King James Version 14 The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold[a] your peace.” Determine to not give up. Your worth the fight. Your peace is worth it. Remember God came to set you free from everything that holds you bound. Receive his freedom in Jesus’ name. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert   The Black Sheep
© 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Are you the spiritual leper/ black sheep? Have you ever been blacklisted or been considered the black sheep of the family? If you have this blog is for you. If you haven’t still read, the information will help you to help someone else. We live in world of cancel culture. Anyone at any time can “cancel” you without notice all because of what you have done or what offense they perceived you have done. Cancel culture doesn’t take into consideration perception versus reality not being the same thing. Anyone can imply something about you, put it on the internet and then the assassinations to your character and your brand begin. Even if you have never been canceled, get successful long enough your day is coming. Even the most innocent of thespians have been victim to the cancel culture bullies. Yes, I said bullies. Most mature people when we don’t like you or your stance about something do a mature thing and agree to disagree. No love lost. Cancel culture seeks your demise. What I love about God is that when you have a relationship with him, he doesn’t cancel you. If God put you in a position, you can’t be canceled, you can be down for a minute, but you will never be out. When God has a work for you to do, you will accomplish it, it doesn’t matter who doesn’t like you. I want to bring your attention to what it means to be the black sheep. When relating to modern day human behavior we must consider the Bible’s take on something. Remember because the Bible was written so many years ago, the behavior or the spirit is the same as today but the terminology or culture maybe different. I want us to interchange the word black sheep to a spiritual leper. Let me explain it will make sense. A black sheep today is in essence a Biblical leper in the Bible. A leper in the Bible was someone to be avoided and was rejected by others for moral and social reasons. If you encountered them, you were considered ceremonial unclean. A leper had a contagious skin disease such as leprosy, similar to eczema of today. However, leprosy was so severe it would eventually lead to death. A leper was an outcast, untouchable, and exiled person. Once a person had leprosy they would be cast out, they had to live outside away from everyone else. Therefore, lepers would often create a subculture. In scripture we see lepers going in packs together with other rejected lepers. Leviticus 13:45-46 New Living Translation 45 “Those who suffer from a serious skin disease must tear their clothing and leave their hair uncombed.[a] They must cover their mouth and call out, ‘Unclean! Unclean!’ 46 As long as the serious disease lasts, they will be ceremonially unclean. They must live in isolation in their place outside the camp. Lepers would suffer public humiliation, rejection, isolation, and being shunned by the same community they were once apart of. The sad thing is they were shunned because of something that was beyond their control. Now we will see the sameness of a leper to the modern-day vernacular, the black sheep. When you are the black sheep of the family you are disregarded or considered a disgrace to the family. You are intentionally uninvited, isolated, disregarded, and shunned. The family or community that once embraced you has now regarded you as bad or worthless. It gets better and there are reasons to rejoice, I am setting the foundations to bring you into healing just hang with me. Let’s talk about signs a person is the black sheep of the family.
Mark 3:20-21 (NLT) 20 One time Jesus entered a house, and the crowds began to gather again. Soon he and his disciples couldn’t even find time to eat. 21 When his family heard what was happening, they tried to take him away. “He’s out of his mind,” they said. Are you seeing that? Jesus own family accused him of being mentally unstable. Mark 6:2-4 New Living Translation 2 The next Sabbath he began teaching in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed. They asked, “Where did he get all this wisdom and the power to perform such miracles?” 3 Then they scoffed, “He’s just a carpenter, the son of Mary[a] and the brother of James, Joseph,[b] Judas, and Simon. And his sisters live right here among us.” They were deeply offended and refused to believe in him. 4 Then Jesus told them, “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” If you have been blacklisted by your family. Take heart you’re in good company if it happened to Jesus, it can happen to you. When an individual doesn’t have a righteous view of their rejection, they can become sad, depressed, full of self-doubt, grief, low confidence, bitter and resentful. Don’t allow it beloved, when you do, they win. You’ve come to far to give up. Let’s talk about how to heal. First, I want you to take a different look at what it is to be the black sheep from heaven’s perspective. You must see yourself in the light of how God sees you. Know that God has not canceled you. Finally look at the blessing that God is going to usher you into. Let’s read 2 Kings 7:3-20. 2 Kings 7:3-8 New Living Translation 3 Now there were four men with leprosy[a] sitting at the entrance of the city gates. “Why should we sit here waiting to die?” they asked each other. 4 “We will starve if we stay here, but with the famine in the city, we will starve if we go back there. So we might as well go out and surrender to the Aramean army. If they let us live, so much the better. But if they kill us, we would have died anyway.” 5 So at twilight they set out for the camp of the Arameans. But when they came to the edge of the camp, no one was there! 6 For the Lord had caused the Aramean army to hear the clatter of speeding chariots and the galloping of horses and the sounds of a great army approaching. “The king of Israel has hired the Hittites and Egyptians[b] to attack us!” they cried to one another. 7 So they panicked and ran into the night, abandoning their tents, horses, donkeys, and everything else, as they fled for their lives. 8 When the men with leprosy arrived at the edge of the camp, they went into one tent after another, eating and drinking wine; and they carried off silver and gold and clothing and hid it. Your being blacklisted is a set up. Notice in the text in 2 Kings God caused the Arameans to hear the clatter of chariots. God orchestrated that, so we can rightfully imply that he orchestrated the blacklisted, black sheep, ostracized and rejected to come into massive blessings. God didn’t select who was accepted to find the blessing. God could have chosen the king, or the prophet who prophesied the blessing, no he chose those considered nothing at all. 1 Corinthians 1:28 New Living Translation 28 God chose things despised by the world,[a] things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. The point is God has intention on blessing you. He can and will bless you without anyone’s knowledge, or opinion. God doesn’t take advice from anyone when he chooses to bless you. Just like he orchestrated the lepers to find the treasure God is going to cause you to come into massive blessings without your haters. They don’t dictate God. If God has determined to bless you no man can stop, you. Don’t get discouraged, don’t give up, stay focused. Numbers 23:20 New Living Translation 20 Listen, I received a command to bless; God has blessed, and I cannot reverse it! © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  The Hate
What do you do when you are hated? © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Why are you hated? Let’s be honest no one wants or enjoys being hated. We often see memes on social media about haters, quick clapbacks, motivational moments, tiktok messages all snarky, sarcastic responses to being hated. Hate is something that we will experience at some point in life. Many who have been hated have a “I don’t care attitude” about something they secretly care deeply about. Hate like betrayal can come from people you never expected. The difference is you can be hated for reasons that seem so trivial. Think about it why would anyone really hate someone else because of the color of their skin? It makes no sense. Have you ever found yourself being hated and you had no clue why? What about when you were hated by people who said they love you? There is a right way to respond to being hated and a wrong way. As always, this blog is about healing. It is meant to give you a Biblical response to a hurtful problem of being hated. You can’t change how someone feels about you, you can change your response. First let’s explore why you may find yourself being the focus of someone else’s hate. Psalm 69:4 New Living Translation 4 Those who hate me without cause outnumber the hairs on my head. Many enemies try to destroy me with lies, demanding that I give back what I didn’t steal. According to the scripture in Psalms 69, you will be hated without a real reason, because of false accusations with no real merit or evidence. You are accused of stealing or being dishonest, when you did nothing wrong. Look at what David said again, his accusers are asking him to give back what he didn’t steal. You are hated because your enemies have chosen to believe lies about you. Keep reading it gets better. It can be hard to hear or read about such unfair things nonetheless there is a reward. Psalm 97:10 New Living Translation 10 You who love the Lord, hate evil! He protects the lives of his godly people and rescues them from the power of the wicked. According to the text in Psalm 97, you will be hated because you don’t participate or engage in what is considered evil. Remember misery loves company. They hate you because you won’t compromise to be like them. Matthew 10:22 New Living Translation22 And all nations will hate you because you are my followers.[a] But everyone who endures to the end will be saved. According to the scripture you are hated because you are true followers of Christ. You don’t belong to this world. John 15:18-26 New Living TranslationThe World’s Hatred 18 “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. 19 The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. 20 Do you remember what I told you? ‘A slave is not greater than the master.’ Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you. 21 They will do all this to you because of me, for they have rejected the one who sent me. 22 They would not be guilty if I had not come and spoken to them. But now they have no excuse for their sin. 23 Anyone who hates me also hates my Father. 24 If I hadn’t done such miraculous signs among them that no one else could do, they would not be guilty. But as it is, they have seen everything I did, yet they still hate me and my Father. 25 This fulfills what is written in their Scriptures[a]: ‘They hated me without cause.’ 26 “But I will send you the Advocate[b]—the Spirit of truth. He will come to you from the Father and will testify all about me. You can’t get any clearer than John 15:18-26. You are hated because you are different, because you don’t belong, because of the God in you. Because the Holy Spirit down on the inside of you makes them feel guilty. You will be hated because you are innocent, and they are guilty. Remember truth doesn’t become a lie just because you don’t believe the truth. A lie doesn’t become the truth because you have chosen to believe a lie. I know this is redundant, but I love how The Message Bible explains it. Let’s read that version. John 15:18-27 The Message Hated by the World 18-19 “If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me. If you lived on the world’s terms, the world would love you as one of its own. But since I picked you to live on God’s terms and no longer on the world’s terms, the world is going to hate you. 20 “When that happens, remember this: Servants don’t get better treatment than their masters. If they beat on me, they will certainly beat on you. If they did what I told them, they will do what you tell them. 21-25 “They are going to do all these things to you because of the way they treated me, because they don’t know the One who sent me. If I hadn’t come and told them all this in plain language, it wouldn’t be so bad. As it is, they have no excuse. Hate me, hate my Father—it’s all the same. If I hadn’t done what I have done among them, works no one has ever done, they wouldn’t be to blame. But they saw the God-signs and hated anyway, both me and my Father. Interesting—they have verified the truth of their own Scriptures where it is written, ‘They hated me for no good reason.’ 26-27 “When the Friend I plan to send you from the Father comes—the Spirit of Truth issuing from the Father—he will confirm everything about me. You, too, from your side must give your confirming evidence, since you are in this with me from the start.” Drops the microphone. We will talk about what to do later but based upon John 15:18-26 don’t take being hated personal, it’s not you it’s them. John 7:7 New Living Translation 7 The world can’t hate you, but it does hate me because I accuse it of doing evil. They are rightfully accused of doing evil because they did wrong. They hate being called out. Remember Jesus never brings false accusations to anyone, satan does that. If God calls you out, it’s because you actually did it. Notice the scripture, they don’t really hate you the person, they hate the God on the inside of you. 1 John 3:11-14 New Living Translation 11 This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12 We must not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and killed his brother. And why did he kill him? Because Cain had been doing what was evil, and his brother had been doing what was righteous. 13 So don’t be surprised, dear brothers and sisters,[a] if the world hates you. 14 If we love our brothers and sisters who are believers,[b] it proves that we have passed from death to life. But a person who has no love is still dead. You are hated because you do what is right and your enemy is doing what is wrong. Notice who the enemy was, Cain was an enemy to his own brother Abel. Don’t be surprised where your hatred may come from. Sometimes it can be people in your own bloodline. They see your success and the favor of God on your life, and they hate you because of it. Read Genesis 37 on your own time. Joseph’s brothers hated him and scripture tells us they wouldn’t speak respectfully to him because of the hatred they had towards Joseph. They hate you because of their own wicked or evil desires and imaginations. It seems so unfair. You are hated for doing the right thing. Although hatred is never okay, we tend to empathize with people a little more if they hate because of a wrong done to them. But according to the scriptures those who are innocent and righteous will be hated. We can never control or change how someone feels about us no matter how much we try. So, what should you do? I am glad you asked, let’s discuss. First be determined not to give up. The only way a hater wins, is if they can succeed at getting you so discouraged you give up. Determine that no matter how hurtful you will keep pushing. Galatians 6:9 King James Version9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Notice the scripture in Galatians says that you will reap a reward. The word is true, the criteria for reaping is determination and perseverance. Be determined to endure. To endure means to suffer (something painful or difficult) patiently. It means to remain in existence; last. Romans 5:1-5 New Living Translation 5 Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace[a] with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. 2 Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. 3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Don’t match energies that’ll never work. Stay focused on the task ahead of you. A hater will try to distract you from your focus. Pretend like you can’t hear a word they are saying. They can’t stop you, so don’t let them distract. Remember anyone who is hateful is first broken. Think about it. If you’re a good person, you live your life to the best of your ability why would anyone who is truly healthy hate you without a good reason? Carrying hate is like a cancer it is a poison in your system that only grows. Pray that they release their hate to receive the love of God. You can’t be full of hate and receive God’s love at the same time. Matthew 5:44 King James Version 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; It’s hard to hate someone that you are praying for. I know it sounds counterintuitive but pray for them. Even if they don’t change your heart will heal. Plus, it creates an atmosphere for your success. Remember weapons may form but they won’t prosper. Don’t allow a hater to cause you to live in fear. Reference my previous blog on intimidation. Finally remember Jesus as our example. We can go to him, pray, seek guidance, and pour our hearts out to him because he understands. He endured hatred, persecution and being despised because of his love for us. Let him wipe your tears away. Hebrews 12:2 New King James Version 2 looking unto Jesus, the [a]author and [b]finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Isaiah 53:3-5 Living Bible3 We despised him and rejected him—a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised, and we didn’t care. 4 Yet it was our grief he bore, our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, for his own sins! 5 But he was wounded and bruised for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace; he was lashed—and we were healed! Be healed in Jesus © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  Christian Narcissist
Signs, symptoms and how to heal. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Disclaimer I am a licensed therapist, I am not your therapist. This blog is meant to give you information only it is not meant to be used as a diagnostic tool, or a replacement for the need to seek mental health treatment. If you identify with anything we discuss today, please search out a therapist in your area. www.psychologytoday.com There is so much information about narcissism. Ironically there are ten different types of personality disorders, yet for some reason we have individuals who are hyper focused on narcissism. The appropriate term is an individual who has narcissistic personality disorder. Unfortunately, there are individuals who are not trained clinicians who are giving misinformation about narcissist personality disorder. For example, I saw one individual who implied that because the parents didn’t agree with their son’s lifestyle, they were narcissist. Another person reported that a person who is hyper religious is a narcissist. This is not true. Hyper religious people and disagreement is not a criteria for the diagnosis according to the diagnostic statistical manual. I want to give my take as a licensed clinician who is qualified and trained to access for and diagnose NPD. For those who may wonder yes, I have accessed and diagnosed individuals with NPD. My hope is by giving my contribution I can give clarity to the topic. Remember just because an individual has narcissistic traits, doesn’t mean they meet the full criteria for NPD. I believe that society is fascinated by these very clinical terms, nevertheless we need clarity by trained people qualified to give it. Another thing to consider is that most abusers have traits of narcissist, they don’t necessarily meet the criteria for NPD. There are two different viewpoints in society about narcissism, that are polar opposite of one another. There is the Christian worldview and the secular worldview. In the secular worldview the mental health field, the general thought is that it is very difficult, near impossible to treat individuals with NPD. However, in the Christian worldview our guiding principles states that nothing is impossible. If nothing is impossible, then individuals with narcissistic personality disorder can recover and be healed. You can believe what you want but as a person who is actively apart of both the Christian community and the mental health community, I believe my Christian values are superior to my training as a clinician. Therefore, I do believe that individuals who have NPD can be healed and recover. I will give you two different perspectives, the clinical criteria, then the spiritual implications. Narcissism is a spiritual issue as well. Matthew 19:25-26 New King James Version 25 When His disciples heard it, they were greatly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?” 26 But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Now let’s talk about who meets the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder. Again, what I see online is there are some who have used the term narcissist to describe individuals who don’t meet the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder. As a warning if you have experienced abuse, before you go start and ministries, YouTube channels etc. Make sure you go to therapy by a trauma therapist. Not a coach, or a counselor who is not trained. A licensed therapist. This form of abuse is considered a trauma and should be addressed by a licensed mental health professional. About criteria: According to the diagnostic statical manual that clinicians use to assess and diagnose mental health treatment, there are nine total symptoms that indicate a person has narcissistic personality disorder. An individual needs five or more of the symptoms to meet the criteria for NPD. If an individual has less than five, they don’t meet the full criteria and cannot be diagnosed with NPD. A seasoned clinician will assess for a co-occurring disorder, that may indicate a more appropriate diagnosis. For example, when a person struggles with an addiction, they tend to be very self-centered while in active addiction to feed their addiction. So, a clinician may not diagnose a consumer with NPD if there is a more appropriate diagnosis. Remember there are close to 300 diagnoses in our DSM. NPD is one of them. Clinicians make sound decisions based upon what is the most appropriate fit. A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following: 1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements). 2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love. 3. Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions). 4. Requires excessive admiration. 5. Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations). 6. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends). 7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. 8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her. 9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes. American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). It is important to note that a child cannot be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. There may be events that have happened and is happening that may contribute to the formulation of the diagnosis. But a child cannot be diagnosed with NPD. Now let’s look at the spiritual side of narcissistic personality disorder. Lucifer is at the root of NPD. With NPD there are multiple types of spirits that are combined together to create NPD. This is why NPD cannot be addressed from a mental health lens only. The spirit of pride The spirit of deception. There are three types of deception such as self-deception, deception of others and perceived deception (gaslighting). Insecurity, that is rooted in the spirit of anxiety and self-hatred. Individuals with NPD, secretly hate themselves as a result took on an ulterior persona. They secretly believe who they are is in not enough. Remember that individuals with narcissistic personality disorder have an inflated sense of self. Let’s look at scripture: Isaiah 14:12-15 New Living Translation 12 “How you are fallen from heaven, O shining star, son of the morning! You have been thrown down to the earth, you who destroyed the nations of the world. 13 For you said to yourself, ‘I will ascend to heaven and set my throne above God’s stars. I will preside on the mountain of the gods far away in the north.[a] 14 I will climb to the highest heavens and be like the Most High.’ 15 Instead, you will be brought down to the place of the dead, down to its lowest depths. Narcissism is rooted in the spirit of jealousy and envy. The spirit of witchcraft, power and control. Remember I said that anything that wants to subdue you against your will is witchcraft. Now let’s discuss how this relates to Christian narcissism. Technically by definition a person cannot truly be a narcissist and a Christian. However, for the sake of our discussion let’s talk about why individuals with NPD are often attracted to Christians in the Christian community. Remember look at again at Isaiah 14, Lucifer is saying, “I will.” Traditionally in Christian communities we have great respect and admiration for our Christian leaders. The individual with NPD, looks at this admiration and is secretly driven to be put in that position to receive that admiration. In Isaiah 14, lucifer looks at God’s position, and thought to attempt to overthrow God himself. Technically that is impossible but to the delusional deceived person nothing is off limits. Disclaimer I am in no way suggesting that a minister or pastor within the Christian church by default is someone who has NPD. I am saying that person’s with NPD are attracted to titles. This is why I tell single women don’t get excited because some minister is winking his eye at you and shows interest. Due your homework. Look at this person’s friends, what do they talk about. Is it solely on them? What is his relationship with his mother? For guys look beyond the surface. Yes, a woman can be beautiful, and attractive. Nevertheless, remember the spirit of Jezebel is also narcissistic personality disorder. A woman with this disorder will be attracted to you because of your position or platform. Yet, Jezebel seeks to emasculate you and put herself in your position. Watch women who have very bold opinions that are rooted in feminist theory, or she calls herself a feminist. This is a mask for the spirit of pride, that has its roots in the spirit of Jezebel. A whole emotionally healthy woman doesn’t see a man or anyone for that matter as someone to demean and compete with. We don’t have to go low for you to go high and you don’t have to go low for us to go high. The individual with NPD studies their prey. They will study the individual in the church. They will seek platforms, positions, and titles within the church. It then becomes easy for them to fulfill their perverted desire. Unfortunately, the church is one of the few places where you can have little to no experience, resume, references, or skill and be given a title to lead others. In some churches the training is very minor and can be completed in weeks or less than a year. If someone with NPD has decided a Christian or church is their prey, they will do things like read their Bible, teach the Bible, shout, and speak in tongues but they aren’t really worshiping God. They are doing it to be seen and to impress. It is a wonderful thing to see a man of God praising and worshipping. Persons with NPD are using admiration to lure you in. Remember individuals with NPD become what you want them to be, that’s why it is important for you not to reveal your whole heart to someone you just met. Proverbs 4:23 New King James Version 23 Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life. Remember deception comes through conversation. Don’t open your heart to anyone, observe first. Pray to God and get wise counsel. Persons with NPD appear to be natural leaders, remember the word appear. They are not real leaders; they have studied great leaders in order to try to conform themselves to be them. Remember what we read in Ezekiel 14. Watch conversations where the other person focuses on me, myself, and I. Persons who have been victimized by person with NPD often struggle with low confidence, fear, insecurity, self-doubt, they may have had abusive childhoods, or previous unhealthy relationships, codependency, and isolation. Finally let’s talk about how to heal. Go to therapy to unpack the effects of this form of abuse. You can forgive but don’t return. Take an inventory of underlying wounds that may have led you to being in this relationship. For example, if you were raised by parents with NPD, you may need to attend therapy to process through childhood abuse as well. Remember the scripture: 1 Corinthians 10:13 The Message 13 No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it. John 16:13 New Living Translation 13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. If you identify as a Christian, you have to be honest to heal. What red flags did you ignore? What wise counsel did you not take? You can’t say nothing because the scripture clearly says that the holy spirit will guide you into ALL truth and will NOT allow you to be deceived. Go back to God and repent for moving forward without hearing his voice. As you heal, you will take your authority back. Luke 10:19 New Living Translation 19 Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you. If what you have gone through has caused you to waver in your faith, recommit your life back to Christ. Your identity will be reaffirmed as you meditate on the word and worship. Healing is a process, but you will get there. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  Betrayal
How to heal from a spiritual Judas? ©2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Betrayal is probably one of the hardest things you will ever go through. It is the pain that most humans will experience at some point in their life. However, it is the mark of the believer. Some of you may be surprised at that statement. As usual I will back up everything I say with scripture. Matthew 10:21 New Living Translation 21 “A brother will betray his brother to death, a father will betray his own child, and children will rebel against their parents and cause them to be killed. Betrayal is not really betrayal unless it comes from individuals who you were once close to. In the text in Matthew 10:21 Jesus is explaining to the disciples what they would experience in their ministries. It was his way of preparing them for the pitfall of ministries. The purpose of this blog is not to give you a strategy to avoid the pain of betrayal, rather to comfort those who have experienced betrayal and are in the midst of recovering from the pain. This blog is meant to give you perspective and put you on the path to help you heal. Betrayal is the intentional act of deceiving, exposing, and attempting to mislead someone you are close to, and whom you previously trusted. In order for it to meet the definition of betrayal it must come from someone you once trusted or loved unconditionally. Have you ever loved someone and then came to the realization that they didn’t love you the way you loved them? Love doesn’t intentionally hurt someone. This is why betrayal hurts so much. Strangers can technically hurt you. However, in my opinion the two most painful types of emotional pain, come from when a loved one dies and when someone betrays you. Betrayal can feel like a death. It maybe the death of the relationship or the life you thought you’d have. Betrayal is an intentional act; it doesn’t happen by accident or coincidence. Betrayal is the act of causing pain to someone you once trusted, had hopes and expectations for. Betrayal is the action of failing to fulfill a promise. Betrayal reveals to you the true nature and character the betrayer. The betrayer didn’t become a betrayer when they acted on the behavior, they were actually betrayers along time ago, their nature was hidden from you. To betray also means to be unfaithful, to turn one over to the enemy, to expose to harm and to violate trust. The Bible dictionary tells us that a betrayer is proven faithless, treacherous, and to trust a deceiver. Are you seeing the pattern here? The betrayer is first an act, who commits an action. They act like their your friends, or are a committed partner, family or loved one. However, their actions reveal to you who they were all along. Look at what David said about his betrayers. Psalm 55:13 New King James Version 13 But it was you, a man my equal, My companion and my acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, And walked to the house of God in the throng. A betrayer can be your best friend, or someone who you use to praise God with at church. Psalm 41:5-9 New Living Translation 5 But my enemies say nothing but evil about me. “How soon will he die and be forgotten?” they ask. 6 They visit me as if they were my friends, but all the while they gather gossip, and when they leave, they spread it everywhere. 7 All who hate me whisper about me, imagining the worst. 8 “He has some fatal disease,” they say. “He will never get out of that bed!” 9 Even my best friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me. A betrayer is someone who is motivated by such deception they are actually waiting for you to die. They gossip about you behind your back. They want you to get a fatal disease. They turn against you. Before we talk about how to heal, let’s discuss why people betray you. For our discussion we will look at the character profile of Judas. His full name is Judas Iscariot. He was one of the twelve disciples. He saw Jesus perform miracles, signs, and wonders. Jesus revealed mysteries and secrets to his disciples. Judas amongst them. Judas was the treasurer, and a sticky-fingered thief. Meaning he took a little extra from the offering basket if you know what I mean. Judas handed Jesus over and betrayed him for 30 pieces of silver. Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss. Jesus responded by calling him friend. What was Judas motivation for betraying Jesus? Greed. Now let’s talk about why people betray you. Betrayers to this day are often driven by greed. Greed is an intense selfish desire for something, such as wealth, money, power, success, and admiration and to go about it by obtaining it unethically, immorally by deceptive means. Betrayers withhold information. Remember withholding information is the same as lying about information. Spiritual Judas’s are motivated by false ambition, (selfish motives), jealousy, and envy. Judas’s has evil desires to take what doesn’t belong to them by deceptive means. Meaning they defraud others. They steal social security numbers, they falsify documents, they commit identity fraud and any type of illegal activity all in an attempt to get money out of someone. Spiritual Judas’s are covetous, meaning they crave someone else’s possessions, position, and advantage. Spiritual Judas’s have a poverty mentality. They want but are not willing to put in the work to get it. They see your success as a means to an end. Meaning there are people who only hang around you because of what they can get from you, or the benefits of being in your presence. The really don’t like you as a person. They see being in your presence as an opportunity for advancement, but they could care less about you the person. They have an unhealthy desire for positions, platforms, and titles. What should you do? Recognize it for what it is, don’t try to figure it out or rationalize it. Often when we first experience the pain of our own Judas, an individual can be in such shock that they replay over and over again what happened. Ruminating on what happen will only make your heart sick. As a warning if you try and confront them if they have no conviction, they will first deny, then claim it was some type of misunderstanding or try and say or imply that you knew what they were up to, even though it makes no logical sense. Remember betrayal is not an overnight action. This has been brewing in the betrayer for some time. They started plotting and planning their actions, then they executed. Acknowledge your pain before the father. The pain will not go away immediately but pouring your heart out to God postures your heart to heal. You will heal better when you are not around the betrayer. With the exception of married people. If you and your spouse decide to make your marriage work, you must heal to bond together. Still, you should have your own individual counselors as well as a marriage counselor. Make sure the counselor is going to counsel you with the purpose of reconciliation, not divorce. Remember to process your pain in therapy. Determine to forgive, even when it hurts. Forgiveness is for you not the other person. Forgiveness helps you not to live your life in bitterness and resentment. Ask God what is he teaching you. Psalm 119:71 New King James Version 71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes. Other healing scriptures you may find helpful include Psalms 35, 36 and 37. Set boundaries if this is someone you must interact with. Remember healing is something you must commit to repeatedly. You will have triggers and have to remind yourself that you are in the process of healing. Worship amidst your pain, something beautiful is being birth from your hurt. Isaiah 61:3 New Living Translation 3 To all who mourn in Israel,[a] he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory. Recognize you are grieving. Grieving is a temporary process not a lifetime sentence. You can grieve someone who is alive. The relationship is dead. You don’t have to be bound the rest of your life by someone who betrayed you. Be intentional about not allowing bitterness to take root. Don’t ruminate repeatedly about what happened. It happened. Repeating it in your mind won’t change what transpired. Keep praying until the peace comes. You will get better, you will heal. Sometimes God must expose betrayers so that you know who is truly for you and not, so you don’t take people into your promise out of loyalty who don’t belong there. God will send healthy people in your life. Your betrayers are not permanent people in your life God already has their replacement. Sometimes rejection is God’s protection. 1 Corinthians 2:8-9 New Living Translation 8 But the rulers of this world have not understood it; if they had, they would not have crucified our glorious Lord. 9 That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”[a] God is going to get the glory out of your life. Romans 8:28 New Living Translation 28 And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  What to do when you struggle with feeling intimidated by another? © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Intimidation is a spirit of fear. When a person is intimidated, they struggle with anxiety. Remember you will never get free from what you are in denial about. First it is important to understand that intimidation really has more to do with how you feel about yourself. Proverbs 23:7 King James Version 7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Remember the story of Moses who sends out spies to view the land God has promised them. Numbers 13:31-33 New Living Translation31 But the other men who had explored the land with him disagreed. “We can’t go up against them! They are stronger than we are!” 32 So they spread this bad report about the land among the Israelites: “The land we traveled through and explored will devour anyone who goes to live there. All the people we saw were huge. 33 We even saw giants[a] there, the descendants of Anak. Next to them we felt like grasshoppers, and that’s what they thought, too!” Look at the language of the people of Israel. God won’t give you a promise that you can’t apprehend. The people of Israel had a negative view of themselves, therefore they assumed that they were perceived negatively. They also had a negative view of their capabilities. Yet there were two other spies named Joshua and Caleb. Let’s look at their report. Numbers 13:30 New Living Translation 30 But Caleb tried to quiet the people as they stood before Moses. “Let’s go at once to take the land,” he said. “We can certainly conquer it!” How is it that a group of people saw the same thing, one group had a negative scary report the other had a positive report? Because it had everything to do with how they saw themselves. Caleb was confident in himself and God therefore he knew they could conquer the land. The other lacked confidence in themselves and God. Who you really put your trust in determines your results. Let’s discuss signs a person struggles with feeling intimidated. They have a poor view of themselves or superficial view. Meaning they get confidence in what they achieve not who they are. This is also known as performance driven behaviors or people pleasers. Prideful, meaning they have an unhealthy view of self or are self-focused. Pride can manifest as confidence, but it is underlying insecurity. They compare themselves to another and place themselves as inferior. Individuals who are only attracted to other people with low self-esteem struggle with the intimidation. Constant need for validation, is a sign of insecurity. Gossip. Anyone who gossips about another or is entertained by the downfall of another person is secretly intimidated by them. False narratives. These are individuals who believe false narratives about themselves or others. They say things like, “no one can be trusted, all women can’t be trusted.” Secret jealousy. One of my YouTube subscribers wrote, “jealousy is a secret sin and it’s never in plain sight, that’s why you have to be careful who you allow in your circle.” I absolutely agree. Missed opportunity These are individuals who won’t go for promotions or a promise that God has intended for them to have due to intimidation. The people of Israel who spoke the negative report and believed it, didn’t make it to the promise. Imagine being feet away from the thing God has promised you all your life and miss it due to your own mindset. Secretly believing you are not good enough Unhealthy, impure, sense of self. This looks like the women you see on television or social media. Society thinks the more women show their bodies the more beautiful they are. So, everything is fake, BBL’s, breast implants, nose jobs, lip fillers, sew in’s down past the but, fake nails, globs of make up to the point where you look like a different nationality. I am not against nails, hair and makeup. I am suggesting that some, (hence the word some) use these things to cover up insecurity and intimidation. Underlying belief that you can’t do something. Remember the people of Israel said, “we are not able.” This is so important because remember the anointing flows from your God confidence. Difficulty believing what God says about you. Jealousy in relationships (these are controlling, manipulative relationships.) They secretly believe they are not good enough and will leave you for someone else. They use titles to give them a false sense of self-worth. Remember having a title or position is not the same as having an anointing. Difficulty with people in authority or submitting to authority. Often these individuals are intimidated by authoritative personalities. Easily offended and defensive. Desire to hide or stay hidden. What should you do? The goal is to change your view of yourself, not how others see you, and not try and expect others to change for you. The root cause is the spirit of rejection. Rejection can be apparent in three ways real/perceived rejection, self-rejection, and fear of rejection. Start by identifying your root, where did it come from? Was there a specific moment, or series of incidents that triggered you to feel rejected? Identify what you learned and what you need to unlearn. Confront the false belief (what you need to unlearn), with what God has to say about you. Remember this an intentional step by step process, it is not an overnight sensation. After you identify the false narrative you must meditate on scripture, until your thoughts, actions and behaviors reflect scripture. Joshua 1:8 New Living Translation 8 Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. The more word you get in you the better you will feel. Meditation is not the same as this new age meditation. New age meditation is about self-worship. Christian meditation is about meditating on the goodness of God. Isaiah 26:3 New King James Version 3 You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. Scripture meditation changes your brain chemistry. Get around people who challenge you, not pacify you. Ask God for corrective experiences. It’s okay to affirm yourself in what God says about you. Be careful who you have in your personal space, there are some who have a vested interest in keeping you stagnant. Remember as you grow certain people won’t go the journey with you. You will outgrow some people. Be intentional about where you place your thoughts. Philippians 4:8 New Living Translation 8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 2 Corinthians 10:5 New King James Version 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, Change your environment and your routine. Once you expose yourself to new things your eyes are open to the possibilities of what you can become. My favorite things of 2021 was visiting the Billy Graham Museum in Charlotte NC. Although I don’t aspire to be Billy Graham, seeing his life made a profound impact on me and encouraged me to be bold about my faith. If you haven’t, I highly recommend going to the Billy Graham Museum. You can also read and study the lives of others. Remember scripture says we overcome when we hear others tell their testimony. Revelation 12:11 King James Version 11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. Go to therapy Go to therapy Go to therapy By the way did I mention go to therapy. And then go to therapy. Remember God is your father. Fathers provide, protect, and give identity. When we struggle with intimidation often times, we experience fear in those three areas. Is God going to provide for me? Is he going to protect me? Who am I? The more you grow in your relationship with God, the fear and intimidation leaves. 1 John 4:18 King James Version 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. Jeremiah 31:3 New Living Translation 3 Long ago the Lord said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself. You are beloved of God. © Dr. Samaria M Colbert 2021   What to do if someone is trying to intimidate you?
© 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Disclaimer in my last blog I discussed what to do if someone is intimidated by you and you are not intentionally trying to intimidate them. In this blog we will discuss what you should do if someone IS intentionally trying to intimidate you. “Rather than going after the promises of God intimidation, causes you to forfeit advancement and now you do what is expected of you by the adversary or opponent.” Bishop Herman Murray of the Full Gospel Holy Temple Church Headquarters of Dallas, Texas When someone is trying to intimidate you, they are really trying to stop the plan of God from manifesting in your life. If someone is trying to intimidate you, first ask yourself the question what is their true motive. Let’s start by discussing where intimidation comes from. First intimidation is really a spiritual battle. Intimidation is a spirit of fear. Intimidation is also a witchcraft spirit, that is rooted in the spirit of power and control. Anything that is trying to take power over you and control you against your will is the spirit of witchcraft. Ephesians 6:12 New King James Version 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of [a]the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Your fight is not against the person, rather the spirit they are operating under. That doesn’t mean you pacify their behavior, it means you recognize who your real enemy is. Everyone is not led by the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:14 New King James Version 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. Anyone who is led by the Holy Spirit is not trying to control or manipulate you, it doesn’t matter how many scriptures they quote. Intimidation is a spirit that is not of God. 2 Timothy 1:7 New King James For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Intimidation is really a strategy from satan. 1 Peter 5:8 New King James 8 Be [a]sober, be [b]vigilant; [c]because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. To devour means to be preyed upon, to destroy, to be totally absorbed by a powerful feeling. (Intimidation) Things to remember is that you really have the upper hand. Regardless of what it looks like you have the upper hand. No one tries to intimidate someone they don’t first see the value in doing so. They are almost always trying to stop or prevent you in some way. Fears wants us to run and hide from the very thing that God is trying to bring us to. Let’s talk about signs someone is trying to intimidate you. The most obvious is that they threaten you. When they threaten you, they are not asking questions rather they are making demands and spewing out hatred. “You are going to do this……” “I am going to hurt you…….” 1 Kings 19:1-3 Living Bible 1 When Ahab told Queen Jezebel what Elijah had done, and that he had slaughtered the prophets of Baal, 2 she sent this message to Elijah: “You killed my prophets, and now I swear by the gods that I am going to kill you by this time tomorrow night.” 3 So Elijah fled for his life; he went to Beersheba, a city of Judah, and left his servant there. Notice in I Kings Jezebel makes the threat, Elijah responds in fear by running away. Someone who is trying to intimidate you wants to cause you to run away from your promise. They make false accusations against you, then threaten you. I literally had someone do this to me recently. I did anything to them. The person then said I did this and that, then threatened me. Another form of intimidation is exhortation. Extortion means the practice of obtaining something, especially money, through force or threats. The person that made the accusations about me was really trying to get money out of me. If I didn’t comply with their demands, they threatened to take me to court. I don’t respond well to threats or false accusations, and definitely not attempts at extortion. So, I calmly replied. “I’ll see you in court.” They bully you. The bully most often tries to intimidate someone who they think they would have an unfair advantage over. Bullies never fight fair. See the power and control wheel. Other types of intimidation listed on it include economic intimidations, you are threatened with losing your job or in a relationship where they withhold financial resources. Emotional manipulation or gaslighting. Privilege, they expect you to allow them to take advantage of you because of loyalty to family, male privilege or the perceived proximately of the relationship. Meaning they think because you are family you are obligated to put up with certain behavior from them. Spiritual abuse, they use your Christian values against you. Typically these conversations go “but you’re a Christian and you are supposed to…..” You know where this is going. They use coercion or suggestive reasoning. Meaning they give settle, but negative hints or suggestions meant to persuade you. Remember in the beginning satan said to Eve “Did God really say?......” In the workplace they are trying to build a case against you based upon false accusations to try and prove you are incompetent to do your job or a bad employee. They try to turn others against you. Remember a liar always needs an audience, but the truth does not. The truth even without an audience can stand all by itself. Nothing is off limits. These people will even use children against you. What should you do if someone is trying to intimidate you? Remember you don’t have to be a doormat all in the name of being a good Christian. There is a time to confront them, it may not be right away. You also must use wisdom as to whether or not it is safe to confront them alone. Remember God will eventually expose them. By the way he doesn’t need the help of gossip sites, false prophets, or exposure ministries. None of that is Biblical. Luke 8:17 Easy-to-Read Version 17 Everything that is hidden will become clear. Every secret thing will be made known, and everyone will see it Let’s discuss how to confront someone. Matthew 18:15-20 New Living Translation Correcting Another Believer 15 “If another believer[a] sins against you,[b] go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector. 18 “I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid[c] on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit[d] on earth will be permitted in heaven. 19 “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three gather together as my followers,[e] I am there among them.” Take your case means to YOUR church, not the worldwide church as a whole. Every church has a government. Bring it before your local church government. If it is a matter for the church to handle. The local church that covers you has the authority to make decisions. You don’t have authority over everyone in the church worldwide. By this time your issue should have gone before the pastor and leaders, and they make the decision. If it appears as though it is one person against the other, that is not God. Literally that is one person coming against another person, with no governing body or spiritual leader. This is not of God. One person does not have the authority to overthrow another. If you don’t have a governing body, spiritual head such as a pastor, you are out of line with what scripture says. Therefore, again not within your authority. Notice I said matters that the church should address. All matters are not addressed by the church. For criminal matters call the police, for family matters or mental health matters contact a therapist for family therapy. For civil matters such as estate planning and such contact a lawyer. The point is respect the lines of authority and seek counseling within those lines. They will also try and use a perceived crisis. Meaning they will make it seem as if you must act immediately, so you make major life decisions or your finances are spent based upon fear. I had a psychiatrist I worked with who said, “Your crisis is not my emergency.” It may sound harsh, but it is the truth. You are not supposed to be the emergency rescuer for people who make poor decisions. I had an acquaintance who called me up and told me that people had showed up at her door to turn her lights off and she needed my help to pay her bill. Ironically, she “forgot to pay it.” Lies all lies. First, in North Carolina nobody shows up at your door to turn the electric off, they do it virtually. They always send you notices before they send a final notice. The amount she approached me with was astronomical for it being in North Carolina. Our utility bills are rather low here. I live in a three-bedroom, two-bedroom home and have never had a bill that high. Her home is near the same square feet as mine. The truth is she went sometime without paying her bill. Why would a grown 40 something adult not pay her bills? Maybe she was short on cash. It happens, not to me but hey it happens. However, here’s the lie. Three days prior she had thrown a very nice, extravagant birthday party, months prior to her actual birthday. It was a very nice, catered event, nicely decorated, she changed outfits twice. She funded this entire event herself. I had no issue with that. Do you sis, I was there to celebrate her. Imagine the irony when she approached me, she could plan such a wonderful, extravagant event down to the T. No detail forgotten, but she “forgot” to pay a bill. Make it make sense. Again, three days later she tells me she “forgot to pay her bill.” Lies all lies. She didn’t forget to pay her bill, she didn’t pay it so she could put that money towards her party. Can you say priorities? Listen I was born in the morning but not yesterday morning. I am a grown adult who pays my bills and am not in the business of funding irresponsible adults. I can’t stand a liar, definitely not one who treats my kindness like I am naive. I didn’t give her the money by the way and made the decision to find like-minded people who don’t think to lie. One day I'll teach you what a poverty spirit looks like. If it is your employer, they have a governing body. Start by contacting HR. Remember I said in my last blog keep your documents. Don’t take it to social media. I have seen people try to clear their name on social media and it only fuels animosity. It only creates more drama. God will clear your name. Don’t give your enemies any press. They are trying to use social media against you. However, remember no one can dethrone you from a position that God has placed you in. If you feel the need to truly tell your testimony, don’t use names and remember to give glory to God. Don’t use social media as a venting session. It only makes you look bad. Psalm 37:6-7 New Living Translation 6 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. 7 Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Don’t fight fire with fire. Don’t seek revenge or avenge yourself. Romans 12:19 New Living Translation19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,”[a] says the Lord. Pray for discernment. God will tell you what is really going on and how you should respond. If someone threatens you believe them. I didn’t say live in fear I said believe them. Have a full cell phone, save all text messages, voicemails, and get the police involved if needed. Sadly, I actually had to do this because of threats against me. None of this was from my client’s or my practice, rather jealous people. Pray the right prayers. Acts 4:23-31 New Living Translation The Believers Pray for Courage 23 As soon as they were freed, Peter and John returned to the other believers and told them what the leading priests and elders had said. 24 When they heard the report, all the believers lifted their voices together in prayer to God: “O Sovereign Lord, Creator of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them— 25 you spoke long ago by the Holy Spirit through our ancestor David, your servant, saying, ‘Why were the nations so angry? Why did they waste their time with futile plans? 26 The kings of the earth prepared for battle; the rulers gathered together against the Lord and against his Messiah.’[a] 27 “In fact, this has happened here in this very city! For Herod Antipas, Pontius Pilate the governor, the Gentiles, and the people of Israel were all united against Jesus, your holy servant, whom you anointed. 28 But everything they did was determined beforehand according to your will. 29 And now, O Lord, hear their threats, and give us, your servants, great boldness in preaching your word. 30 Stretch out your hand with healing power; may miraculous signs and wonders be done through the name of your holy servant Jesus.” 31 After this prayer, the meeting place shook, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit. Then they preached the word of God with boldness. Notice in the text, the believers didn’t pray that the threats would go away. They knew that this would happen because of the prophetic word. Notice who was trying to intimidate the believers, there was Herod, Pilate, and none believers. It tells us that is it not uncommon for people in positions of leadership to come against us. They prayed for boldness. You must do the same. God can make it, so you are full of peace, power and boldness while in the midst of enemies. Pray for boldness. Psalm 23:4 New Living Translation4 Even when I walk through the darkest valley,[a] I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You don’t have to live in fear or timidity. Proverbs 28:1 New King James Version The Righteous Are Bold as a Lion28 The wicked flee when no one pursues, But the righteous are bold as a lion. Draw closer to God in worship and scripture meditation. When I was enduring the spirit of intimidation from my enemies, I drew closer to God. I have a closer relationship with God than I ever have. What they tried to do to me only made me more anointed. Be intentional about casting down fear imaginations. If you allow it your fear will have your imagination running rapid. Remember forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. If you must interact with them, set healthy boundaries, and maintain them. Healthy boundaries don’t work if you keep compromising them. Remember God will vindicate you. Vindicate means, clear (someone) of blame or suspicion, show or prove to be right, reasonable, or justified. God will tell you what He is going to do in advance. Shut up, don’t tell anyone, remember He is true to his word, and he will respond. Finally: Isaiah 54:17 New King James Version 17 No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the Lord. In the end you will win © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert  SIGNS, SOMEONE IS INTIMIDATED BY YOU AND WHAT YOU SHOULD DO ABOUT IT.
©Dr. Samaria M Colbert Where does intimidation come from? Intimidation means to be timid or fearful, frightened especially to be compelled or deterred. Let me be clear about my intended audience today. I am not referring to you or someone who is intentionally trying to intimidate another. That is for another blog. What I am referring to is when someone is intimidated by you without your knowledge or intention of making them feel that way. Remember someone else’s intimidation is about their own insecurity, particularly when you are not trying to demean or mistreat them. Sometimes your success is intimidating to someone else. It has nothing to do with you, rather the other person and how they view themselves. You can never change how someone else views you. This blog comes after I had some very odd experiences. I couldn’t understand why someone would mistreat me or display under handing passive aggressive actions towards me as if I couldn’t clearly see their behavior. In my prayer time the Lord spoke to me and said, “he’s intimidated by you.” Later, I sought the Lord because I didn’t understand why anyone would be intimidated by me. Yes, I am successful, but I don’t have an intimidating personality. I tend to be a quiet, introverted person. I don’t mistreat anyone. Then the Lord spoke to me and said, “as a man thinks in his heart so is he.” He reminded me that this person’s behavior towards me had nothing to do with my actions towards him, rather it had more to do with how he saw himself. For my singles it is important to note that you don’t want to do relationship with someone who is intimidated by you. Insecurity will show up in the relationship and manifest as jealousy. You can never change someone’s view of themselves, no matter how hard you try. Let’s start by discussing signs that someone is intimidated by you. The signs we will discuss are in no particular order. Office Politics This is for those who are in in the corporate workplace. This symptom is particularly near and dear to my heart because I see so many clients who experience increase in stress and anxiety in the workplace due to office politics. When this happens you may have another coworker or even a superior who is trying to undermine you and make you appear as if you are incompetent. They are secretly insecure and believe you have a vested interest in trying to take their position. The one that is intimidated may do things like make accusations about you as an employee that are not true. They make nice nasty inferences that you are not responsible or incompetent of doing your job. If this happens nothing you do is right they are always waiting, watching and preying on you to get it wrong. Only to try and prove you are what they have thought about you even though it is not true. False Accusations Against Your Character Someone who is intimidated by you has already decided about who they think you are. Their opinion of you is most time always negative because it is based upon their own insecurity. Out of their insecurity they will accuse you. Apparently even though it is not true you are “rude, think you’re better than them, bougie, and a snob.” Gaslighting/Passive Aggressive When a person is gaslighting you, they are the perpetrator of the offense, but they project it on you as if you have done something wrong. You will find this behavior in the workplace and in manipulative relationships amongst, family, friends, and romantic partners. Passive aggressive behavior is when someone refuses to address you directly. They come off as cold, uncaring, distance, and emotionally absent. Emotional abuse/emotional unavailable Competition Someone who is intimidated by you secretly sees you as someone to compete with. In their eyes you are wining and subconsciously you must be subdued. Fear They are afraid of you because they see the hand of God on your life. They also observe you responding wisely and are therefore afraid. I know it doesn’t sound correct but go with me it will make sense. 1 Samuel 18:12 New Living Translation 12 Saul was then afraid of David, for the Lord was with David and had turned away from Saul. 1 Samuel 18:29 New Living Translation29 Saul became even more afraid of him, and he remained David’s enemy for the rest of his life. 1 Samuel 18:14-15 New King James Version14 And David behaved wisely in all his ways, and the Lord was with him. 15 Therefore, when Saul saw that he behaved very wisely, he was afraid of him. Embellishment These are individuals who feel the need to impress you, so they make things more than what it is. Minimize These are people who minimize your successes or make light of it. False witness These are people who straight up lie. They say you did things you didn’t do, say they heard you say things you didn’t say and imply that you have motives that are not true. The scripture calls this wicked imaginations. Proverbs 6:16-19 New International Version16 There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, 19 a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community. Gossip and slander Anyone who gossips about another is secretly intimidated by them. They see you as the enemy even though you don’t see them that way. They feel negative about you so they want others to feel negative about you. They are often angry and resentful towards people who treat you with respect and kindness. They believe their thoughts, about you are true. Just because you think a thought about someone doesn’t make it so. Often our thoughts about another is driven by our own insecurity. Christians will try to spiritualize their insecurity by calling it a spiritual gift, discernment, or prophecy. They are delusional to believe their assignment is to use their prophetic office to expose and bring others down. This is not a spiritual gift or assignment rather rooted in the same spirit that drove satan to deceive a third of the angels, the same spirit that drove King Saul to try to kill David. It is a spirit that is not of God. What should you do? Remain confident of what God has said about you. Other people’s opinion of you doesn’t matter. Your identity must be rooted and grounded in God’s opinion of you not people. Recognize that people who don’t have a positive view about you, don’t have a positive view about themselves. These people don’t like themselves why would they think positive about you? They can’t project what they don’t have. Loving others first starts with how you love and feel about yourself. Don’t personalize their behavior or cause their behavior to cause you to question yourself worth and identity. Don’t compromise or come down to their level. Keep your words few. Don’t try to change their opinion of you. For those in the workplace, keep documents, emails, certificates, any form of written communication. Remember they are trying to build a case against you, you need your own file that contradicts their file. Pray for them. Romans 12:14-20 New Living Translation 14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! 17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. 19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,”[a] says the Lord. 20 Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”[b] It is very hard to hate someone who you are praying for and asking God to bless. I want to address a false narrative I saw on Facebook. An individual said that it is wrong for a Christian to want revenge or vindication. This is not true. God in His nature said that he will take revenge. In another translation it reads God is a God of “vengeance, I will repay.” This individual claimed that because we are under the grace covenant these desires are wrong. Not true. Apostle Paul who gave us the doctrine of grace, is clearly quoting Old Testament, but vengeance falls under the category of a part of the new covenant as well. So, what is the answer. Galatians 6:7-9 New King James Version 7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. We don’t seek vengeance for ourselves. Vengeance is a part of the nature of God and is a righteous act that only belongs to Him. We don’t have the power, authority, or permission to take vengeance. You cannot claim that vengeance within itself is wrong when the scripture even under the New Testament grace is CLEARLY telling us that the nature of God is to avenge you and according to Galatians what a man sows, he will reap. Again this is under the new covenant of grace. We wait on God. Pray for our enemies. Remember God doesn’t relish or take pleasure in the demise of your enemies. He uses vengeance to bring them back into alignment with Him. Ezekiel 33:11 New King James Version11 Say to them: ‘As I live,’ says the Lord God, ‘I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn, turn from your evil ways! For why should you die, O house of Israel?’ So, we must pray that those who are enemies get their hearts postured into right relationship with God. Vindication is not a bad thing. It means the action of clearing someone of blame or suspicion to prove that someone or something is right, reasonable, or justified. I don’t care how spiritual you are, we all want our name cleared. Vengeance is not a bad thing either. Vengeance means to harm someone who has harmed you. Often the vengeance of God comes in the form of recompense. It means God himself will compensate you for the pain you were caused in front of those who caused you the pain. Technically your enemy is not physically harmed but they feel the emotional pain of seeing you succeed despite their best efforts to stop you. Psalm 23:5 New King James Version5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. When you respond wisely God responds by blessing you. Another reason to pray for your enemies. Matthew 5:43-48New Living TranslationTeaching about Love for Enemies43 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’[a] and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies![b] Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends,[c] how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect. When you pray for your enemies, it doesn’t mean that you are releasing them without consequences. It means you are releasing them to God, while clearing you of bitterness, and unforgiveness. That doesn’t mean God won’t vindicate you or avenge you. Remember you can’t mistreat a child of God and think you’ll get away with it. God gives them grace; time and He is patiently waiting for them to turn away from sin and repent. It’s okay to separate yourself. Remember forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. If you’re in the workplace or church, make sure God has released you. Sometimes God allows us to be in a painful place to develop us. Pray for protection. Honor the position even if you can’t honor the person. Remember your validation comes from God. Psalm 75:6-7 King James Version6 For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. 7 But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another. Seek God, in your prayer time He will tell you what is going to happen. After you hear from God and you will hear from God be quiet and wait on God. He will do just as he said. Finally remember intimidation is a spirit of fear, satan wants to remove you from your position of authority in Christ Jesus. Don’t let him do it. In the end it is only a test. In the end you will win if you don’t give up. I am praying for you. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert |
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