What to do if someone is trying to intimidate you?
© 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert
Disclaimer in my last blog I discussed what to do if someone is intimidated by you and you are not intentionally trying to intimidate them. In this blog we will discuss what you should do if someone IS intentionally trying to intimidate you.
“Rather than going after the promises of God intimidation, causes you to forfeit advancement and now you do what is expected of you by the adversary or opponent.”
Bishop Herman Murray of the Full Gospel Holy Temple Church Headquarters of Dallas, Texas
When someone is trying to intimidate you, they are really trying to stop the plan of God from manifesting in your life. If someone is trying to intimidate you, first ask yourself the question what is their true motive.
Let’s start by discussing where intimidation comes from.
First intimidation is really a spiritual battle. Intimidation is a spirit of fear. Intimidation is also a witchcraft spirit, that is rooted in the spirit of power and control. Anything that is trying to take power over you and control you against your will is the spirit of witchcraft.
Ephesians 6:12 New King James Version
12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of [a]the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Your fight is not against the person, rather the spirit they are operating under. That doesn’t mean you pacify their behavior, it means you recognize who your real enemy is.
Everyone is not led by the Holy Spirit.
Romans 8:14 New King James Version
14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.
Anyone who is led by the Holy Spirit is not trying to control or manipulate you, it doesn’t matter how many scriptures they quote.
Intimidation is a spirit that is not of God.
2 Timothy 1:7 New King James
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Intimidation is really a strategy from satan.
1 Peter 5:8 New King James
8 Be [a]sober, be [b]vigilant; [c]because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
To devour means to be preyed upon, to destroy, to be totally absorbed by a powerful feeling. (Intimidation)
Things to remember is that you really have the upper hand. Regardless of what it looks like you have the upper hand. No one tries to intimidate someone they don’t first see the value in doing so. They are almost always trying to stop or prevent you in some way. Fears wants us to run and hide from the very thing that God is trying to bring us to.
Let’s talk about signs someone is trying to intimidate you.
The most obvious is that they threaten you. When they threaten you, they are not asking questions rather they are making demands and spewing out hatred. “You are going to do this……” “I am going to hurt you…….”
1 Kings 19:1-3 Living Bible
1 When Ahab told Queen Jezebel what Elijah had done, and that he had slaughtered the prophets of Baal, 2 she sent this message to Elijah: “You killed my prophets, and now I swear by the gods that I am going to kill you by this time tomorrow night.” 3 So Elijah fled for his life; he went to Beersheba, a city of Judah, and left his servant there.
Notice in I Kings Jezebel makes the threat, Elijah responds in fear by running away.
Someone who is trying to intimidate you wants to cause you to run away from your promise.
They make false accusations against you, then threaten you. I literally had someone do this to me recently. I did anything to them. The person then said I did this and that, then threatened me. Another form of intimidation is exhortation.
Extortion means the practice of obtaining something, especially money, through force or threats. The person that made the accusations about me was really trying to get money out of me. If I didn’t comply with their demands, they threatened to take me to court. I don’t respond well to threats or false accusations, and definitely not attempts at extortion. So, I calmly replied. “I’ll see you in court.”
They bully you. The bully most often tries to intimidate someone who they think they would have an unfair advantage over. Bullies never fight fair.
See the power and control wheel. Other types of intimidation listed on it include economic intimidations, you are threatened with losing your job or in a relationship where they withhold financial resources. Emotional manipulation or gaslighting. Privilege, they expect you to allow them to take advantage of you because of loyalty to family, male privilege or the perceived proximately of the relationship. Meaning they think because you are family you are obligated to put up with certain behavior from them. Spiritual abuse, they use your Christian values against you. Typically these conversations go “but you’re a Christian and you are supposed to…..” You know where this is going.
They use coercion or suggestive reasoning. Meaning they give settle, but negative hints or suggestions meant to persuade you. Remember in the beginning satan said to Eve “Did God really say?......”
In the workplace they are trying to build a case against you based upon false accusations to try and prove you are incompetent to do your job or a bad employee. They try to turn others against you. Remember a liar always needs an audience, but the truth does not. The truth even without an audience can stand all by itself.
Nothing is off limits. These people will even use children against you.
What should you do if someone is trying to intimidate you?
Remember you don’t have to be a doormat all in the name of being a good Christian. There is a time to confront them, it may not be right away. You also must use wisdom as to whether or not it is safe to confront them alone.
Remember God will eventually expose them. By the way he doesn’t need the help of gossip sites, false prophets, or exposure ministries. None of that is Biblical.
Luke 8:17 Easy-to-Read Version
17 Everything that is hidden will become clear. Every secret thing will be made known, and everyone will see it
Let’s discuss how to confront someone.
Matthew 18:15-20 New Living Translation
Correcting Another Believer
15 “If another believer[a] sins against you,[b] go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.
18 “I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid[c] on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit[d] on earth will be permitted in heaven.
19 “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three gather together as my followers,[e] I am there among them.”
Take your case means to YOUR church, not the worldwide church as a whole. Every church has a government. Bring it before your local church government. If it is a matter for the church to handle. The local church that covers you has the authority to make decisions. You don’t have authority over everyone in the church worldwide. By this time your issue should have gone before the pastor and leaders, and they make the decision. If it appears as though it is one person against the other, that is not God. Literally that is one person coming against another person, with no governing body or spiritual leader. This is not of God. One person does not have the authority to overthrow another. If you don’t have a governing body, spiritual head such as a pastor, you are out of line with what scripture says. Therefore, again not within your authority. Notice I said matters that the church should address. All matters are not addressed by the church. For criminal matters call the police, for family matters or mental health matters contact a therapist for family therapy. For civil matters such as estate planning and such contact a lawyer. The point is respect the lines of authority and seek counseling within those lines.
They will also try and use a perceived crisis. Meaning they will make it seem as if you must act immediately, so you make major life decisions or your finances are spent based upon fear. I had a psychiatrist I worked with who said, “Your crisis is not my emergency.” It may sound harsh, but it is the truth. You are not supposed to be the emergency rescuer for people who make poor decisions.
I had an acquaintance who called me up and told me that people had showed up at her door to turn her lights off and she needed my help to pay her bill. Ironically, she “forgot to pay it.” Lies all lies. First, in North Carolina nobody shows up at your door to turn the electric off, they do it virtually. They always send you notices before they send a final notice. The amount she approached me with was astronomical for it being in North Carolina. Our utility bills are rather low here. I live in a three-bedroom, two-bedroom home and have never had a bill that high. Her home is near the same square feet as mine. The truth is she went sometime without paying her bill. Why would a grown 40 something adult not pay her bills? Maybe she was short on cash. It happens, not to me but hey it happens. However, here’s the lie. Three days prior she had thrown a very nice, extravagant birthday party, months prior to her actual birthday. It was a very nice, catered event, nicely decorated, she changed outfits twice. She funded this entire event herself. I had no issue with that. Do you sis, I was there to celebrate her. Imagine the irony when she approached me, she could plan such a wonderful, extravagant event down to the T. No detail forgotten, but she “forgot” to pay a bill. Make it make sense. Again, three days later she tells me she “forgot to pay her bill.” Lies all lies. She didn’t forget to pay her bill, she didn’t pay it so she could put that money towards her party. Can you say priorities? Listen I was born in the morning but not yesterday morning. I am a grown adult who pays my bills and am not in the business of funding irresponsible adults. I can’t stand a liar, definitely not one who treats my kindness like I am naive. I didn’t give her the money by the way and made the decision to find like-minded people who don’t think to lie. One day I'll teach you what a poverty spirit looks like.
If it is your employer, they have a governing body. Start by contacting HR. Remember I said in my last blog keep your documents.
Don’t take it to social media. I have seen people try to clear their name on social media and it only fuels animosity. It only creates more drama. God will clear your name. Don’t give your enemies any press. They are trying to use social media against you. However, remember no one can dethrone you from a position that God has placed you in. If you feel the need to truly tell your testimony, don’t use names and remember to give glory to God. Don’t use social media as a venting session. It only makes you look bad.
Psalm 37:6-7 New Living Translation
6 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
7 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
or fret about their wicked schemes.
Don’t fight fire with fire.
Don’t seek revenge or avenge yourself.
Romans 12:19 New Living Translation19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,
“I will take revenge;
I will pay them back,”[a]
says the Lord.
Pray for discernment. God will tell you what is really going on and how you should respond.
If someone threatens you believe them. I didn’t say live in fear I said believe them. Have a full cell phone, save all text messages, voicemails, and get the police involved if needed. Sadly, I actually had to do this because of threats against me. None of this was from my client’s or my practice, rather jealous people.
Pray the right prayers.
Acts 4:23-31 New Living Translation
The Believers Pray for Courage
23 As soon as they were freed, Peter and John returned to the other believers and told them what the leading priests and elders had said. 24 When they heard the report, all the believers lifted their voices together in prayer to God: “O Sovereign Lord, Creator of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them— 25 you spoke long ago by the Holy Spirit through our ancestor David, your servant, saying,
‘Why were the nations so angry?
Why did they waste their time with futile plans?
26 The kings of the earth prepared for battle;
the rulers gathered together
against the Lord
and against his Messiah.’[a]
27 “In fact, this has happened here in this very city! For Herod Antipas, Pontius Pilate the governor, the Gentiles, and the people of Israel were all united against Jesus, your holy servant, whom you anointed. 28 But everything they did was determined beforehand according to your will. 29 And now, O Lord, hear their threats, and give us, your servants, great boldness in preaching your word. 30 Stretch out your hand with healing power; may miraculous signs and wonders be done through the name of your holy servant Jesus.”
31 After this prayer, the meeting place shook, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit. Then they preached the word of God with boldness.
Notice in the text, the believers didn’t pray that the threats would go away. They knew that this would happen because of the prophetic word. Notice who was trying to intimidate the believers, there was Herod, Pilate, and none believers. It tells us that is it not uncommon for people in positions of leadership to come against us. They prayed for boldness.
You must do the same. God can make it, so you are full of peace, power and boldness while in the midst of enemies.
Pray for boldness.
Psalm 23:4 New Living Translation4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
You don’t have to live in fear or timidity.
Proverbs 28:1 New King James Version
The Righteous Are Bold as a Lion28 The wicked flee when no one pursues,
But the righteous are bold as a lion.
Draw closer to God in worship and scripture meditation. When I was enduring the spirit of intimidation from my enemies, I drew closer to God. I have a closer relationship with God than I ever have. What they tried to do to me only made me more anointed.
Be intentional about casting down fear imaginations. If you allow it your fear will have your imagination running rapid. Remember forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. If you must interact with them, set healthy boundaries, and maintain them. Healthy boundaries don’t work if you keep compromising them.
Remember God will vindicate you. Vindicate means, clear (someone) of blame or suspicion, show or prove to be right, reasonable, or justified. God will tell you what He is going to do in advance. Shut up, don’t tell anyone, remember He is true to his word, and he will respond.
Isaiah 54:17 New King James Version
17 No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.
In the end you will win
© 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert