Healthy Boundaries
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Your emotional, mental, spiritual, physical health is dependent on your ability to set boundaries. Remember everything in life has a system, purpose and an intended boundary. If you are clear about your purpose, it is equally important that you be clear about your boundaries, or you will not have the vitality to fulfill your purpose long term. A boundary is a limit, expectation, standard, values, and responsibility. A boundary is what is acceptable and unacceptable in words, actions or deeds. Boundaries lets us have a healthy work life balance. Without boundaries chaos is present. Without healthy boundaries stress ensues. Reasons people don’t set boundaries include: Fear of confrontation. Hero Syndrome, the need to rescue others from themselves. Being put in the caretaker role. Codependency. Avoidance of the feeling of guilt and shame. Culture expectations. Family expectations. The feeling of obligation. Emotional blackmail. The feeling of religious obligation. Dealing with individuals who are manipulative or use forgiveness as a manipulative tool. Toxic relationships. Low confidence or self-esteem. One day I asked God why I was being treated like that. He replied, “because you have always been responsible.” How to set boundaries? Professional Boundaries Remember you don’t wait until you meet a person to set boundaries. You set boundaries prior to meeting anyone. Your boundaries are predetermined and non-negotiable. You must be aware of your absolute deal breakers. Determine how others should treat you and how you want to be treated. You can also determine what areas you need to set boundaries in, based upon previous painful experiences that you learned from. You must separate your professional boundaries from your personal boundaries. For professional boundaries have hours that you are available. What are your STATED policies? For me I am not available 24/7. Take vacations and leave your work cell phone alone. Rest, eat, stay healthy. For other therapist make sure you adhere to your code of ethics. Personal Boundaries Who are the people that can hold space in your personal life? Determine who are the people that should have proximity to you versus those on the outside. For my personal boundaries I will no longer be taking care of grown people. I am a therapist but to my friends I am not their therapist. I keep my personal life off social media and only speak of my business, books or accomplishments. I am not friends with my clients. I have clear boundaries of who I will allow in my home. I don’t pay bills for grown people. Remember everyone should not have access to you. What are your boundaries in relationships? Social media boundaries: When posting on social media ask yourself, is it true? It is necessary? Is it inspiring? Is it kind? God is not telling you or anyone else to use social media to confront, correct, or compare. Boundaries cannot be assumed or implied, they must be clearly stated. Don’t assume common sense is not so common. If you are renegotiating boundaries remember you can anticipate negative feedback. Ghosting is not a way to set boundaries, it just shows you lack maturity, and the ability to communicate. Insecure people ghost, mature whole, healthy people have a conversation. No one should have to observe your non ability to communicate or use spiritual gifts to determine what your issue is. Remember lying and passive aggressiveness is a red flag. Finally, all healthy relationships, even interpersonal relationships have healthy boundaries. We all have limited capacity. You will never be able to be all things to all people. Capacity is the maximum amount that something can contain or produce. You are not without limits. Remember a boundary is not a wall. Best I wish you all the success in the world and healthy boundaries. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert
0 Comments
What to do about disrespect.
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert We live in a world of cancel culture. The minute people perceive you to be another way that is opposite of their like or dislike they proceed to try to cancel you. If they can’t cancel you, they attempt to disregard and disrespect you. This blog is about what to do when you feel disrespected. There is a right way and a wrong way to deal with disrespect, going to social media is not the answer. Remember you can disagree with someone and never dishonor them. In today’s blog we will also discuss why people are disrespectful and what to do about it. Disrespect means to dishonor someone through words, actions or deeds. It means to dismiss, disregard or minimize an infraction. Someone can dishonor or disrespect you when you are not in the room. Gossip, assassinations of someone’s character is an example. When someone is disrespectful underneath is the underlying feeling that something is not considered worthy of respect or contempt. Disrespect means to openly scorn. It is the belief that someone or something is worthless and despicable. It means to have low regard for. It means to be rude to or inconsiderate. When someone is disrespectful, they usually have underlying issues with authority. Now let’s talk about why people are disrespectful to you? They are secretly jealous or envious. They secretly believe that you are not worthy of the position that God gave you. Reference Number 16, when the leaders of Korah rose up against Moses because they were secretly jealous and envious. They believed that Moses was not supposed to be in the position that God put him in. They are rebellious to anyone who is in a position of authority. You have already set the standard of how you should be treated by not checking behavior and setting boundaries. They are trying to put so much pressure on you that you relinquish your rightful position. They have no home training and were never held responsible for their actions. They are controlling and manipulative. Disrespect is a condition of the heart you cannot change someone. They are too familiar with you. To clarify because someone is familiar with you doesn’t mean by default, they are going to be disrespectful. Someone that has a true heart to honor will be respectful regardless of their proximately to you. Disagreement doesn’t have to lead to disrespect. If your behavior is disrespectful, you can’t expect others to show you respect. What should you do about disrespect? If you don’ have to deal with them don’t. You must resolve in your psyche that there are times you must choose to not care about how other people perceive you. Someone that disrespects you only reveals that they are not your friend. You can forgive that doesn’t mean you need to reestablish relationships. Ask God to give you think skin. He did it for Jeremiah, He will do it for you. You will need tough skin to accomplish God’s assignment for your life. Reference Jeremiah 1:7-10 KJV, Jeremiah 1:17-19 KJV You must set boundaries on how you should be treated. Remember God will defend your name. Anyone who feels comfortable being in a room where you are being disrespected and doesn’t defend you is not for you. David ignored his brother Eliab when he was being disrespectful. Reference I Samuel 17:28-29 If you don’t have to deal with them don’t. Dismiss people from your life quickly. When they are jealous of you, they are your enemy. Don’t get on social media to defend yourself, it only fuels the fire. Don’t keep disrespectful people in your life due to loyalty. Remember you are enough. When you value yourself there are somethings you won’t put up with from other people. There is no such thing as a Christian doormat. The Bible tells us to love our enemies and pray for them that despitefully use you. It says nothing about keeping them in your life. Matthew 5:44 © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert What it means to be a servant leader. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert The first thing we need to know is that a servant leader is not a position, platform it is a position and condition of the heart. When I graduated from Howard University at our graduation ceremony the president stated, “seek to serve and you will discover greatness along the way.” When you are a servant leader you are selfless and not self-focused. When you are a servant leader, you’re not motivated by self-promotion but committed and submitted to God’s agenda. It means to identify a need and recognize you are called to answer a problem. When you are a servant leader you are driven to impact someone else’s life in a positive way. Now let’s explore principles that indicate what it means to be a servant leader. Mark 9:35 New Living Translation 35 He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.” When you are a servant leader you are not concerned about wanting to be first. You are not concerned about being recognized or given a special place, you come to serve. When you are a servant leader you are a steward of the goodness of God. Meaning God feels safe releasing his heart for his people to you. It means to be submitted to God the father and His purpose for your life, not your own agenda. John 13:16 New Living Translation 16 I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. John 15:15 New Living Translation 15 I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. When you are a servant leader your relationship with God is first. You understand pain, affliction, persecution that comes with being a servant of God. Your heart and God’s will align. God calls you friend. A servant or to serve means to perform duties or services to another. It means to present to someone. This is important because when you are a servant leader, you are the gift someone needs. God will present you and your gift to great men and women. Proverbs 22:29 New Living Translation 29 Do you see any truly competent workers? They will serve kings rather than working for ordinary people. When you are a servant leader you are diligent behind the scenes. Proverbs 22:29 King James Version 29 Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men. When you are a servant leader you serve. You are not concerned about how you will be served rather what you will do to serve. Matthew 20:28 New King James Version 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, Notice Jesus himself said he came to serve. What makes us think we are to grand to serve when the savor of the entire world was a servant? When you are a servant leader you are committed to the will of God and he is at the forefront of your mind. John 6:37-38 New King James Version 37 All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will [a]by no means cast out. 38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. How to know you are a servant leader or are called to be a servant leader. Willingness. Your heart is willing. You are ready to serve, not begrudgingly or with hesitation. You don’t have to be convinced or convicted to help. You are driven by the mission, mandate, or purpose. People naturally look up to you and you operate in wisdom, without a title, platform, or a position. You are not seeking a title. You are not trying to be seen and could care less about a position at the table. You identify a problem and naturally come up with solutions. You have a heart to advocate for vulnerable populations, particularly widows and orphans. John 6:37-38 New King James Version 37 All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will [a]by no means cast out. 38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. You are a team player and work well with teams. You volunteer without being asked. You have a desire to add value to the lives of others. You are not self-centered or selfish. You naturally attract your assignment, without a marketing plan or strategy. You don’t go from church to church seeking positions only to be offended and leave when you are not recognized. You are not trying to get next to someone with a name so you can gain influence. You don’t use people for what you can get. You are genuine person with pure motives. You can be trusted with the pain of others. You don’t gossip or are entertained by the downfall of others. I reiterate to you what the president of Howard University told us on that rainy day of my graduation ceremony many years ago. “Seek to serve and you will discover greatness along the way.” Be Well © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Discipleship
Guiding principles for faith-based professionals who work, train and are developed to succeed in an unbelieving world. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert To be one who disciples means to train, develop another into a particular skill or trade. To be a disciple means to be a student, teacher, and eventually a leader. A disciple is someone developed to lead others. It means to learn from another especially one who is more skilled than you. Let’s be clear you can be skilled, talented and gifted you still need to be developed Think about it, Michael Jordan is considered one of the greatest basketball players that ever did it. He naturally had a knack for basketball. Yet he didn’t make it on the junior varsity basketball team. The following year he did. What happened? He trained and developed his natural ability to become something great. Even our spiritual gifts must be developed, even though the gift and call of God are free. 1 Timothy 4:8 New Living Translation 8 “Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” Clearly if we can train for physical reasons, we can train for all things related to godliness. To be discipled is not limited to helping others come to Christ and then grow their relationship with God. It also means to be developed into a skill, trade, based upon your unique skill and ability. To cause someone to produce, based on intentional strategy or intentionality. Remember according to Genesis 1:11 a tree produces after its own kind. You must be committed to growth and development. You must commit to produce in others what you have produced within yourself. If you are not committed to personal and professional growth you are committing to the eventual demise and consequently failure of your purpose, and or your organization. The commitment to growth shouldn’t be an option, rather a requirement. Remember every franchise started as a single store. Every business started as an idea that they eventually executed. Think about it the McDonalds brothers. The original McDonald’s creators were really Richard and Maurice McDonalds. They eventually met a man called Ray Kroc. Ray had a vision to expand the McDonald’s brand by partnering with the McDonald’s brothers. However, although the expansion was initially successful, Ray ran into difficulty and ongoing disagreement with the McDonald’s brothers. Ray ended up filing a business named the McDonald’s Corporation. Six years later he brought the exclusive rights to the McDonald’s brothers’ idea. Ray Kroc established a billion-dollar business, at his death he was worth about 600 million dollars. Prior to their death the McDonald’s brothers received a payout of about 1.6 million dollars. Ray’s wife died a billionaire. Some say Ray was a crook, some say the McDonald’s brothers were at fault for not appropriately protecting their business brand and name. Either way we don’t know the full story, what we do know is Ray was committed to growth, the McDonald’s brothers were not. The point is if you want your organization to grow you must commit to development, that includes discipling leaders to grow. Your sustainability is dependent upon it. Principles that govern discipleship for faith-based professionals. To disciple means you are committed to the growth and development of another. All great leaders commit to be developed before they can effectively lead and develop others. A lot of social media followers and high numbers is not an indication of being an effective disciple. Discipleship doesn’t happen absent from submission. To be a disciple is not vague but comes with a clear strategy, with the end goal in mind. The goal includes road maps, anticipated and unanticipated barriers along the way. Disciples commit to teams. You can’t disciple someone where you have never been. When you disciple you are committed to developing someone to be greater than you. Proper placement is key. Proper development is NOT a business strategy alone but includes, your emotional, mental, spiritual and career development. Process and progress to the goal takes time and cannot happen overnight. However, that does not mean we are to be complacent. Past emotional wounds, in both the one who disciples and the disciple is a major barrier to progression. Everyone who disciples must have and understand effective systems. These systems grow, expand, modernize and evolve over time and progression. Strategic placement is key. Meaning placing people where they will excel in their gift, talent or ability not just where the need is. Placement is not based upon loyalty. You don’t get a position at the table because you’ve been around the longest. You can be loyal and lazy. What you have already produced, past resume and experience is the qualifier. Honor also qualifies you; dishonor gets you replaced. It’s not a title but a grace. You can’t disciple if you are not a teacher, they must correlate together. You can’t be a disciple without submitting to being taught. Go in grace and submit to the process. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert How to Overcome Discouragement
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert If we be honest everyone at some point in our lives will feel discouraged. If you haven’t either you are in denial or you haven’t lived long enough. You as a human being will experience being discouraged. The question I will answer is not if you will get discouraged rather what should you do when you get discouraged. You can make a temporary season permanent if you don’t handle discouragement properly. Why we get discouraged? Proverbs 13:12 New Living Translation 12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. We get discouraged after we have endured a long time. When you start off you start the journey with strength and a vigor for the mission. After a while of fighting the good fight of faith we lose strength. How do we overcome discouragement?
Isaiah 40:31 New King James Version 31 But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. · Determine to trust God despite the circumstance. · Fix your focus. Philippians 4:8 New King James Version 8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. Wait on the Lord, the strength will come. Remember God will redeem the time, there is no time lost in God. Remember it is only a season. Season’s will change. Understand the purpose in it all. Something beautiful is being birthed out of your season of discouragement. You may not understand it, but it will make sense after a while. Isaiah 43:19 New Living Translation 19 For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 41:9-13 Living Bible 9 I have called you back from the ends of the earth and said that you must serve but me alone, for I have chosen you and will not throw you away. 10 Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed. I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.[a] 11 See, all your angry enemies lie confused and shattered. Anyone opposing you will die. 12 You will look for them in vain—they will all be gone. 13 I am holding you by your right hand—I, the Lord your God—and I say to you, Don’t be afraid; I am here to help you. Remember it’s only a set up. Be encouraged, better days are coming. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert How to Have A Trained Ear
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert To be trained means to be taught a particular skill behavior, practice, that is developed over time. It also means having been developed through instruction, or practice. When I speak of training your ear, I am not referring to how we hear from God alone. I am also referring to how you excel as a seasoned professional in your field of practice. Having a trained ear in what your gift, talent and chosen profession is makes you an expert and a class above the rest. Having a trained ear means you are no longer ordinary or mediocre you excel and then are qualified to be considered amongst the great. The first way to obtain a trained ear is when we listen and follow instructions. Matthew 7:24 NLT 24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. It is one thing to hear wisdom, another thing to implement. When you have a teachable spirit, you are training your ear to operate in excellence. Having a trained ear only comes through divine relationship with Christ, that means spending time with Him. Through prayer, meditation, and worship. Think about it. Say you just met someone you perceive maybe your future mate. How do you discover or confirm this person maybe the one? Through spending time with them. After observing their character and having crucial conversations you will either confirm your premonitions about them or deny them further access into your life based upon what you observed. It is the same with God, when you spend time with Him, you get to know His voice. You discover who you are and who He is. You are then training your ear to do God’s will. John 10:27 New Living Translation 27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. John 10:5 New Living Translation 5 They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice.” Active disobedience prevents you from having a trained ear. You must spend time in study if you want to have a trained ear. You study your Bible. You also study books, research articles and attend seminars in your field of practice to have a trained ear. 2 Timothy 2:15 New Living Translation 15 Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth. We must pray for discernment. Discernment sharpens your ear and prevents us from walking in deception. John 16:13 New Living Translation 13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. Notice the spirit of truth guides us into all truth. What you feed your heart, mind and spirit will grow. Meditate on scripture. Joshua 1:8 New Living Translation 8 Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. Ask God for wisdom and He will train your ear for it. James 1:5 New Living Translation 5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. You must rid yourself of selfish, motives and biases to have a trained ear. Remember unhealthy motives trains your ear for self-exaltation, not God exaltation. Why people don’t have a trained ear? · Impure motives · False narratives. · Following false prophets · They don’t spend time in the word of God. · Being a Sunday morning saint. Meaning you only talk to God or hear from God when you attend church on Sunday. · Lack of faith. · They have no intention of changing. Ezekiel 33:30-31 New Living Translation 30 “Son of man, your people talk about you in their houses and whisper about you at the doors. They say to each other, ‘Come on, let’s go hear the prophet tell us what the Lord is saying!’ 31 So my people come pretending to be sincere and sit before you. They listen to your words, but they have no intention of doing what you say. Their mouths are full of lustful words, and their hearts seek only after money. According to Matthew 4:13-19 they don’t have deep roots, problems, persecution, worries, the lure of wealth, and desire for other things. I encourage you to commit yourself to obtain a trained ear, then God will make you a success. Joshua 1:8 New Living Translation 8 Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert PERVERTED AUTHORITY © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert If there is a such thing as godly authority, there is a such thing as perverted authority. However, to the natural eye, godly authority and perverted authority looks very similar almost identical. Remember a counterfeit dollar still looks like the original, it doesn’t change to being valuable because of its appearance. Whether you want to believe it or not, there is a counterfeit anointing, a counterfeit glory, a counterfeit church even counterfeit leaders. Our goal as faith-based leaders and entrepreneurs is to operate in truth, integrity, honesty and authenticity. We don’t want to be counterfeits. Yet if you don’t know or discern truth you are bound to be deceived by a lie. Remember satan himself was and is the center of counterfeit authority. 2 Corinthians 11:13-14 New Living Translation 13 These people are false apostles. They are deceitful workers who disguise themselves as apostles of Christ. 14 But I am not surprised! Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. Before we discuss what perverted authority is, let’s set the ground work for what Godly authority is. Watchman Nee (1972) In his book, Spiritual Authority stated, “The acts of God issue from His throne, and His throne is established by His own authority. All things created through God’s authority and all physical laws of the universe are maintained by His authority. For God’s authority represents God Himself whereas His power stands only for His act.” “In serving God we must not violate his authorities, because to do so is a principle of Satan.” Nee, Watchman (1973), Spiritual Authority. Christian Fellowship Publishers, Inc. New York. Remember Godly authority builds you up, it doesn’t tear you down. It is also not ashamed of the authority you already possess. 2 Corinthians 10:8 New Living Translation8 I may seem to be boasting too much about the authority given to us by the Lord. But our authority builds you up; it doesn’t tear you down. So I will not be ashamed of using my authority. As a disclaimer if you have underlying, unhealed wounds you may perceive authority as tearing you down, although that may not be the case. People with father wounds will be very defensive and can be hard to develop. Remember authority also corrects, holds you accountable, sits you down while building you up. An authority that can’t critique you with the intent of helping to shape and develop you is not authority. Your friends and your person of authority don’t hold the same position in your life, at least they shouldn’t. Authority doesn’t have authority over everything or everyone. Just because someone is in authority doesn’t mean they should have an opinion about everyone and everything. There is a such thing as staying in your lane. 2 Corinthians 10:12-13 New Living Translation 12 Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! 13 We will not boast about things done outside our area of authority. We will boast only about what has happened within the boundaries of the work God has given us, which includes our working with you. 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 New Living Translation 11 Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. 12 Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others. We must submit to all authority, not just Christian authority. 1 Peter 2:13-14 New Living Translation 13 For the Lord’s sake, submit to all human authority—whether the king as head of state, 14 or the officials he has appointed. For the king has sent them to punish those who do wrong and to honor those who do right. Matthew 8:5-9 New Living Translation 5 When Jesus returned to Capernaum, a Roman officer[a] came and pleaded with him, 6 “Lord, my young servant[b] lies in bed, paralyzed and in terrible pain.” 7 Jesus said, “I will come and heal him.” 8 But the officer said, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come into my home. Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed. 9 I know this because I am under the authority of my superior officers, and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say, ‘Go,’ and they go, or ‘Come,’ and they come. And if I say to my slaves, ‘Do this,’ they do it.” The scripture in Matthew 8:5-9 teaches us about Godly authority. Authority respects authority. Honor begets honor, and respect begets respect. You will never be in godly authority when you dishonor another person in authority. To be in authority, you must simultaneously be under authority. Godly authority is found in the ability to execute divine authority by giving executive orders. Executive orders are in your mouth. Other symptoms someone operates in Godly authority: Godly authority always honors who’s in the room. A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before great man. Being invited into the room is one thing, being honorable is what keeps you there. Proverbs 18:16 Respect the position even when you don’t respect the person. Never leave a place God has planted you unless he has released you to go. Never leave a place do to offense or bitter disagreement. How you leave a place means something. Your character is proven by how you handle disagreement. Don’t judge what people say, what are their results? Perverted authority wants position without process. Disagreement should never lead to disrespect. Authority is divine access, permission, and power to be sent forth. However, remember you are not that great, don’t believe your own press. You ARE REPLACEABLE. Authority comes with assignment from God. Man confirms, what God has already done in secret. Authority comes from God but is distributed to man. You’ll never receive God’s authority being dishonorable to man. Finally, now that we have set the groundwork, let’s discussed perverted authority. What is perverted authority? 1. Perverted authority is authority that is not submitted. 2. Perverted authority is an attempt to assume authority, but you don’t have a plan for your life, let alone another person. How can you lead someone when you don’t know where you are going? 3. Perverted authority is authority not submitted to human authority. Remember the natural comes before the spiritual. If you can’t submit to natural authority, you don’t qualify to operate in spiritual authority. Reference 1 Peter 2:13 4. Perverted authority causes you to call right wrong and wrong right. Persons with perverted spiritualize mess, pettiness, gossip, and pessimism, they justify it by calling it corrective action, a righteous cause or mission. No matter how you justify it, it is still wrong. 5. Perverted authority creates a spiritual Ishmael, it means to attempt to move God’s plan along without following His way. 6. Perverted authority is motivated by selfish ambition. 7. Perverted authority always dismantles, dishonors, disrespects and attempt to disrupt the authority of another. 8. Perverted authority looks at the outward appearance. Remember man looks at the outward appearance God looks at the heart. 9. Perverted authority is not sent by God, they send themselves. 10. Perverted authority represents the spirit of Absalom and Adonijah spirit. (Absalom and Adonijah, were the sons of king David who tried to overthrow King David’s throne to put themselves in his place.) I pray for those who are called, operate in God’s authority, and not perverted authority. Be Well. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Grasshopper Mentality What to do when the vision God gave you intimidates you. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert It is true that intimidation can come from many different places, internally is one of them. Remember according to the scripture in Ephesians 3:20 God is the one who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. What happens when God shows you your future and it is so beyond anything you could ever imagined so much so you become intimidated by it? Many years ago, I was a freshman at Bennett College. I had a feeling of emptiness even though I had gotten saved at the age of 8. I didn’t know why I was alive and what this quiet girl from a small town had to offer. I attended a youth led college Bible study where the man of God taught a message on fasting and prayer. The message was so powerful I decided to fast because I wanted to know my purpose. I fasted for a week. Then I had an open vision. In the vision I was being used powerfully under the anointing. When the vision was at the end, I heard the audible voice of God say, “that’s it, that’s what I want you to do.” I was so astonished by the vision; it was absolutely amazing. Astonished, means greatly surprised or impressed; amazed. After the astonishment wore off the immediate feeling after that was fear. I saw myself the way I had always been. A quiet girl, from a small town, that loved to read and study. I have always been a loner but have had a deep and personal relationship with God. I had never desired to be seen, to chase money, fame, or fortune, I just wanted to know why I was alive. I never wanted to be someone great I just wanted to be someone. When God gave me this vision it was everything I never wanted or asked for, however the vision was so real it felt like it was who I really was. The contradiction in my mind between where I was and who God wanted me to be was overwhelming to my mind. I didn’t realize that it was God who chose me for it, therefore he was the one that would transform me into it. Back then I had a grasshopper mentality. What is a grasshopper mentality? When an individual has a grasshopper mentality you see yourself in light of your weakness not in light of how God sees you. It is the spirit of intimidation. Remember to not believe what God says about you is still rebellion. To rebel means to resist, repel or dismiss authority. God is the ultimate authority and to deny His worth of you is rebellion. You believe how you see yourself is how others see you. The context of our discussion today is found in Numbers 13 and 14. Moses sent out spies to spy out the land that God had already promised the people of Israel. He sent out twelve spies. Ten came back with a negative report. They said, “we were like grasshoppers in our own eyes; therefore we were like grasshoppers in their eyes.” The two that came back with a positive report Joshua and Caleb said, “let’s go out at once and conquer the land.” The difference is that Joshua and Caleb loved God and trusted him. They knew that their trust was not in their own strength but in God’s ability. By the way to assist others in reverting to fear as well is also rebellion. The negative spies caused the people of Israel to believe the lie of fear. It also teaches us from an organizational leadership perspective, strength is not in numbers. Rather the strength of your organization is in the strength of leaders who understand the vision, trust, have faith in God and are willing to do the work. I digress. The point is you can be right at the door of the greatest breakthrough in your life and the grasshopper mentality will stop you from actualizing the promise. The people with the negative report didn’t make it to the promise. Imagine after all your hard work, preparation, blood, sweat and tears and you stop you from making it in. What a waste. Those with a grasshopper mentality don’t trust God. Remember the vision that God gives you is always bigger than you. Just because you see yourself in a negative way doesn’t mean others see you that way and it doesn’t mean that is who you really are. I encourage you don’t be intimidated by what God has promised you. Don’t be intimidated or insecure. Satan can’t stop the vision from coming to pass, if you allow him in your ear, you will stop the vision God has for you. How to overcome the grasshopper mentality? Identify why you feel this way. Do you feel as if you are not enough? What negative self-perception do you believe? Examples include, “I am not smart enough, I don’t believe in myself, I was always told I wouldn’t amount to anything etc.” The next step is to identify where it came from? Was it rejection from your past, mother and father wounds, past failures etc. Then confront the lie with the word of God. You must practice scriptural meditation. Joshua 1:7-8 New Living Translation 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. 8 Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. I pray you walk into all the success that God has preordained for you. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert The Psychology Of Evil
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Evil is a reprehensible act, wicked, evil impulse. Evil is forbidden desire, an intentional offense to God and a repulsiveness to righteousness. Psychology is the study of the mind that effects behavior. Things that effect behavior include biopsychosocial spiritual. Bio means your genetics and biological makeup. Psych is the mind. Social is your environment and spiritual. Where does evil come from? Let’s be honest no one starts off with the intention of being evil. First evil is a person. Genesis 4:7 New King James Version 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is [a]for you, but you should rule over it.” Evil is satan. He was the one who initially rebelled against God. Evil comes from wicked imaginations. Romans 8:7 New King James Version7 Because the [a]carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. Signs evil is present: Galatians 5:19-21 New Living Translation19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. How does an individual become evil? 1. Satan plants seeds of dissension in our minds. This is called suggestive reasoning. 2. That suggestion if not cast down, it immediately starts to take root. 3. We the ruminate on carnal reasoning to justify the thought and we don’t compare it against the word of God. 4. That ruminating takes root and causes feelings of resentment, bitterness, and grows like a cancer. 5. Eventually thoughts, leads to belief, which leads to behaviors such as any type of perversions, murder, and sexual immorality. Anyone has the propensity to be evil, if given access. What should you do? When a thought comes take authority over it. 2 Corinthians 10:5-7 King James Version 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 6 And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. Be prepared to do battle. Ephesians 6:11-18 New Living Translation 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we[a] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.[b] 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.[c] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.[d] Be intentional about your thought life Philippians 4:8 New Living Translation8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Proverbs 23:7King James Version7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert The Economy Of Faith
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Economy is the wealth and resources of a country, region and especially in terms of production, consumption of goods and services. Economy is careful management of available resources. Faith exists in the realm of the invisible. The evidence is not in what can be seen but in what can’t be seen. Faith is real, but not obtained, sustained or maintained by the natural eye. Faith gives us hope. There is a difference between the secular economy versus heaven’s economy. Now we will discuss a comparative analysis between the secular economy versus heaven’s economy.
Faith You will never access heaven’s economy without faith. Everything great God does in the earth comes through the avenue of faith. Doubt, unbelief, stops heaven’s economy from manifesting. Faith is a choice, not a force. I hope you choose well. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert The Producer
How to produce lasting, sustaining and eternal fruit. © 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert God has called us to bear fruit. John 15:16 New King James Version 16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. The reality is everyone is producing some type of fruit. However, what you produce can either be positive or negative, good or bad, hope or evil. What you do or not do means something. Galatians 5:19-23 New Living Translation19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. 22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! The question is not if you produce, rather what type of fruit are your producing? God wants us to carry the fruits of righteousness. The type of fruit you produce is indicative of what was planted and cultivated. Matthew 7:15-20 New Living Translation The Tree and Its Fruit 15 “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. 16 You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. 18 A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. 19 So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. 20 Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions. To produce means to cause to make, manufacture, birth and bring something forth. A producer is a person, company that makes, grows, supplies good and commodities for sale. For the kingdom’s sake, a producer is someone who cultivates, stewards, maintains and grows the resources that God has placed into their care. Ten signs you are a healthy producer
2. You must commit to following the steps that God puts you in. Many Christians make the mistake of hearing God’s plan and attempt to make their own way. Psalm 37:23 King James Version23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. 3. You must commit to being diligent. Diligence is careful consistent work, and effort. 4. You must commit to being a student. 5. Your circle, who has your ear is very important. 6. You must commit to persevere. It won’t be easy. To persevere means to do something despite difficult or delay in achieving success. 7. Heal. Commit to your healing. You will never be able to produce lasting fruit if you don’t commit to being healed.
I pray you receive this word.My hope is that you know God’s great love for you.Ephesians 3:18-20 New King James Version18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert The Pathway Of Pain That Produces Greatness In Us and Through Us
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert The reality of life is that we will experience joy, but we will also experience pain. However, for those who are in Christ pain the pain we experience produces a much greater joy in us. There are those who God wants to reveal his glory to, then there are those who he wants to use to for the glory to be revealed through. The process of being a glory producer is painful. When God reveals his glory to you, he is simply showing you something to cause you to believe. However, when God uses you, for his glory his glory flows through you. Intimacy is what is needed to be a carrier of the glory and spiritual death to the flesh. Real relationship is needed when God is revealing his glory to you. Psalm 103:7 New King James Version 7 He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the children of Israel. God wants His glory to flow through you. The process of dyeing is painful, but one day you will say it was worth it. Ultimately our desire should be that God’s glory be revealed through us. You want to be a person where the glory of God dwells, not just someone dependent on sins and wonders that cause you to believe. John 12:24 New King James Version 24 Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much [a]grain. Something has to die in us, in order for glory to be raised. Glory brings honor to God. The flesh only breeds selfish ambition. Let’s look at the process of pain from a Biblical perspective. John 11:1-43 New Living Translation The Raising of Lazarus 11 A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. 2 This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair.[a] Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. 3 So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.” 4 But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.” Look at Jesus narrative. He knows that Lazarus is dead, and he is saying that his death is for the glory of God. John 11:5-7 New Living Translation 5 So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, 6 he stayed where he was for the next two days. 7 Finally, he said to his disciples, “Let’s go back to Judea.” Look how it appears at the onset that Jesus was unconcerned and uncaring. His friend is dying and he refuses to leave as if it wasn’t an urgent matter. Have you ever felt like that? You are dyeing on the inside and it feels as though the presence of God is intentionally staying far away. 8 But his disciples objected. “Rabbi,” they said, “only a few days ago the people[b] in Judea were trying to stone you. Are you going there again?” 9 Jesus replied, “There are twelve hours of daylight every day. During the day people can walk safely. They can see because they have the light of this world. 10 But at night there is danger of stumbling because they have no light.” 11 Then he said, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but now I will go and wake him up.” 12 The disciples said, “Lord, if he is sleeping, he will soon get better!” 13 They thought Jesus meant Lazarus was simply sleeping, but Jesus meant Lazarus had died. 14 So he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. 15 And for your sakes, I’m glad I wasn’t there, for now you will really believe. Come, let’s go see him.” 16 Thomas, nicknamed the Twin,[c] said to his fellow disciples, “Let’s go, too—and die with Jesus.” 17 When Jesus arrived at Bethany, he was told that Lazarus had already been in his grave for four days. 18 Bethany was only a few miles[d] down the road from Jerusalem, 19 and many of the people had come to console Martha and Mary in their loss. 20 When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him. But Mary stayed in the house. 21 Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.” 23 Jesus told her, “Your brother will rise again.” 24 “Yes,” Martha said, “he will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day.” 25 Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life.[e] Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. 26 Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?” 27 “Yes, Lord,” she told him. “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.” 28 Then she returned to Mary. She called Mary aside from the mourners and told her, “The Teacher is here and wants to see you.” 29 So Mary immediately went to him. 30 Jesus had stayed outside the village, at the place where Martha met him. 31 When the people who were at the house consoling Mary saw her leave so hastily, they assumed she was going to Lazarus’s grave to weep. So they followed her there. 32 When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him,[f] and he was deeply troubled. 34 “Where have you put him?” he asked them. They told him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Then Jesus wept. 36 The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!” 37 But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?” 38 Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. 39 “Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them. But Martha, the dead man’s sister, protested, “Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.” 40 Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?” 41 So they rolled the stone aside. Then Jesus looked up to heaven and said, “Father, thank you for hearing me. 42 You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” 43 Then Jesus shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” John 11:45 New Living Translation 45 Many of the people who were with Mary believed in Jesus when they saw this happen. Jesus stayed away initially because he knew Lazarus assignment was not to be healed from a near death sickness, rather it was for him to die. Like Lazarus had to die there are somethings that must die in us. What must die: (According to Galatians 5:19-21 TLB) Selfish motives Selfish ambition Unbelief Idolatry Sin Pride The need to seek validation from men. (Being a people pleaser) The works of the flesh Jealousy Unforgiveness Anger Complaints Criticism The feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own group. Drunkenness Religious spirit Wrong doctrine. The scripture says that anyone who participates in these things, the kingdom of God cannot be found in them, therefore they cannot be carriers of God’s glory. Let’s discuss the process of pain as found in John 11. Grief, Lazarus had died. Some relationships must die in our lives. What/who are you grieving? You can grieve a relationship or person that is still alive. Disappointment and the feeling of betrayal. As stated, Jesus appeared to be unconcerned about the plight of his friend Lazarus. His sister felt pain because they didn’t understand why he intentionally didn’t come when he was first informed of Lazarus condition. This is how we often feel when God doesn’t relieve our pain right away. The feeling of being forsaken and forgotten. Although we are never forsaken, when God doesn’t initially responds to your pain, it feels like he has forsaken and abandoned us. The pain of feeling disregarded, forgotten, despair, anguish, and unbelief. Notice in verse 40, after the people saw Lazarus raised from the dead then many believed. Lazarus testimony was more powerful because he was raised from the dead, rather than his sickness healed. You must die for the glory of God to be revealed in you. What makes people not endure the process of pain? According to Matthew 13:1-23 Not understanding Not having deep roots and turning away when problems and persecution come. Worries and the lure of wealth. Romans 8:35-39 New Living Translation 35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”[a]) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Nothing separates us from the promises of God. We can feel separated from God. Romans 5:3-6 New King James Version 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces [a]perseverance; 4 and perseverance, [b]character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. 1 Peter 1:6-9 New King James Version 6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been [a]grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, When you endure the process of pain, greatness, power, and authority is raised in you. When you endure the pain, then greatness is birthed out in you. I encourage you to finish strong, stand. If you are in the midst of pain, don’t give up or turn away it’s all a part of the process. The pain you may be experiencing is producing the glory out of you. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Why God makes us wait
© 2022 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Waiting is one of the hardest things to do. There is a time in between when the word is spoken and when the promise will manifest. The in between time is hard because often we wait much longer than anticipated. It is while waiting that satan whispers in our ear, suggesting that it is not going to happen. There are some who stop waiting because they are afraid that it won’t happen. What you do while waiting is crucial and it determines your success of failure. Successfully waiting determines whether or not you actually make it to the promise. Waiting is not a time of complacency but a time of being prepared. While waiting you experience trials, and tribulations but remember it is only meant to prepare us for the promise. Why must be wait? Because there is an appointed time for your vision to manifest. Right now, is not the time. Habakkuk 2:3 New Living Translation 3 This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. God doesn’t always reveal when the specific vision will manifest. The in between time is meant to increase and develop your faith. If you knew exactly when it would happen you wouldn’t need faith. Acts 1:7 New Living Translation 7 He replied, “The Father alone has the authority to set those dates and times, and they are not for you to know. God often tells us what our end will be at the beginning so that we can have hope while being tested and waiting. Isaiah 46:10 New King James Version 10 Declaring the end from the beginning, And from ancient times things that are not yet done, Saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, And I will do all My pleasure,’ God makes you wait because he is preparing you for it. He is also preparing it for you. Not only are you being developed but your gift is being developed. You are the gift. What is in your hand is the gift. Proverbs 18:16 New King James Version 16 A man’s gift makes room for him, And brings him before great men. Your character is being developed. Romans 5:4-6 New Century Version 4 And patience produces character, and character produces hope. 5 And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us. 6 When we were unable to help ourselves, at the right time, Christ died for us, although we were living against God. You have to wait because you are birthing something. Similar to a woman who is pregnant. The moment she conceives, is not the moment she gives birth. You are pregnant with a purpose. God’s timing is perfect Because God’s plan for you is perfect. Jeremiah 29:11 New King James Version11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. It may sound harsh but remember God is perfect. We must trust him, even when we don’t agree with his methods. We can trust him and in the end, we will be glad that we waited. We will be able to say it was worth the wait. What should you do? Don’t give up. You should be preparing for an opportunity that you don’t know the specific time it will happen. You have an assignment, you must complete while waiting. Your completion dictates your promise. What you produce in your waiting season indicates your level of success during your revealing season . Finally Luke 8:17 New King James Version17 For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light. Your revealing will come, just wait on it. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert You are not forsaken; you are not forgotten.
© 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert This blog is near and dear to my heart because I’ve had times in my life where I felt forsaken and forgotten. I have a quiet personality; I have often been overlooked and forgotten by man. I am writing this blog to encourage someone from a place that I have been. To be forsaken means to feel abandoned or deserted. It means to be given up on or to leave. Remember Hebrews 13:5 God says I will never leave you nor forsake you. Just because you feel forsaken doesn’t mean you are forsaken. To be forgotten means to be treated with inattention or to disregard. It means to be obsolete to cease from doing. To lose remembrance of. To cease to remember or notice. Isaiah 49:14-16 New King James Version 14 But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me, And my Lord has forgotten me.” 15 “Can a woman forget her nursing child, [a]And not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you. 16 See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me. There are times in our life when we feel forgotten and forsaken. Before we discuss what to do about it let’s explore why you may have felt this way. You have been forsaken by people you love. Psalm 27:10 New King James Version 10 When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take care of me. David said, “when”, it means there are times when we will be forsaken by people who are family. However, remember man’s actions towards you doesn’t dictate God’s. You’ve been hidden by God. God often hides us in plain sight to develop us. Remember Joseph who had a dream. His process into fulfilling that dream included seasons of being hidden. You’ve waited much longer than expected. Habakkuk 2:3 New Living Translation 3 This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. You’ve been rejected by people. Remember rejected by people doesn’t mean rejected by God. You’ve experienced a series of disappointments. Galatians 6:9 King James Version 9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. You have a quiet personality. Remember just because you are quiet doesn’t mean you are not a powerhouse. Isaiah 30:15 New King James Version 15 For thus says the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: “In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” You’ve been damaged by past experiences and feel as though there is no resolve. You are alone. You are still waiting. Remember you are not abandoned. Feelings don’t dictate fact. Those who are called of God, are often hidden for his specific purpose. Mark 4:22 New King James Version 22 For there is nothing hidden which will not be revealed, nor has anything been kept secret but that it should come to light. In God’s time He will reveal you. Be Encouraged © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert The Cost of Being Chosen
© 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Matthew 22:14 For many are called but few are chosen. To be chosen means to be called out, to decide on to settle on, to be hand-picked, elected, and to make one’s mind up. For many years I never understood what the statement called but few chosen meant. I thought within myself if I called you doesn’t it mean I chose you. So doesn’t that mean you have been chosen? Not quite, I know it sounds confusing. Then I heard Benny Hinn do a teaching on this very thing and it made sense. It means many have been invited, but few chosen. It is those who have been properly prepared that are the chosen. Let me explain. According to the text in Matthew 22, it is the parable of the wedding feast. Say at the feast you invite a lot of people, but there are a few certain one’s who you expect to show up like close friends and family. In the parable in Matthew 22, the king’s son is getting married, and he invites people. Let’s call these people the called. However, many of them reject the invitation. They all had some excuse as to why they couldn’t show up. Some either ignored the invitation, others treated the servants who invited the guess shamefully, even killing the servants. All because of an invitation. The wealthy king couldn’t be deterred so he invited everyone, including guest that were not originally invited. Most of us know that if you attend a wedding, whether you are the selected guest or not you dress up for a wedding. A few people show up without any type of wedding gear on. Talk about disrespect. Imagine someone showing up to your wedding with yesterday’s clothes on and smelling like they hadn’t bathed. Well, that is an analogy to the parable in Matthew 22. The king was so shocked he threw the guest out that had no wedding entire on. The meaning of the statement many are called few are chosen really means that many are invited (the called), however it is those who have been properly processed and prepared that have been qualified to be the chosen. The chosen does not mean those who were initially invited, rather it was those who have responded to the invitation, prepared, and then presented themselves at the feast. It is when you are prepared, meaning you have been washed by the blood of Jesus. You have endured challenges, test, and trials. You have passed through the process of pain that you are now called the elect of God. How do you know you have been qualified to be the chosen?
Your cost has been great, but you can truly say despite the pain it has been worth it. Luke 14:28 New King James Version 28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it-- Living for Jesus is not easy, but it is worth it. My words for you are simple. There are some of you who will read this blog who have endured one of the most painful seasons of your life. For everything you have endured God has qualified you. Great favor is getting ready to manifest in your life because God can trust you with his heart, therefore he can trust you with what is in his hand. Because your heart is right before God, he rewards your faithfulness. The world is getting ready to be in greater anguish because of what is getting ready to happen. (yes, I do know but chose not to write about it in this blog) While the world is crying, you’ll be rejoicing. Divine wealth transfers are getting ready to happen. Exposure is coming but it is not meant to embarrass you, but to propel you, into your kingdom assignment. God delights in you. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Self-Sabotage
© 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Sabotage means to deliberately destroy, or damage, it means to obstruct something that was meant to give you an advantage. It also means to wreck, vandalism, destruction, and disruption. Lisa Jeffs defines self-sabotage as “when we actively or passively take steps to prevent ourselves from reaching our goals.” Self-sabotage is the act of destroying or damaging something deliberately so that it doesn’t work correctly. There are times that we must be honest with ourselves and say we are our own worst enemy. When you self-sabotage you are actively committed to your own failure and demise through intentional passive means. Self-sabotage is similar to imposter syndrome, the difference is that with imposter syndrome you may have the feeling of inadequacy, but you still move forward. When you self-sabotage you are committed to not moving forward and you actively regress. When an individual self-sabotages they are actively committed to their own failure and demise through intentional passive means. Why do people self-sabotage? They have an unhealthy view of self, low confidence, and feelings of worthlessness. You will never achieve what’s in your potential when you don’t have a healthy view of yourself. Past fears and trauma. The trauma brain remembers what happened in the past, and wants to avoid future pain. So, they self-sabotage to avoid a future that hasn’t happened yet. No faith. Remember to achieve you must have faith in God’s ability and what he can and will do through you. Self-hatred Self-hatred is really rooted in self rejection. If you don’t like yourself, you’ll sabotage your own efforts. Disobedience. It may sound odd that disobedience is a form of self-sabotage, but it is. You have a grasshopper mentality. In Numbers 13:33 The people of Israel refused to go into the land God promised them, they said “we were like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and so we were in their eyes.” When you self-sabotage it has more to do with how you see yourself not how other’s see you. You are relying on your own strength, instead of God. Your identity is not found in Christ. Remember fathers provide, protect and give identity. When you self-sabotage you are not secure about who God has called and identified you to be. How do we move forward from self-sabotage? Don’t ignore it, denial won’t walk you into healing and freedom. You must recognize patterns of self-sabotage in your life. Therapy, inner healing strategy will help to uproot the cause of self-sabotage. Remember self-sabotage is really rooted in a deep sense of self hatred. Therapy helps to identify the root and pull it out. You must also acknowledge the wounds in your heart before the father. Remember as you begin the process of allowing God to heal your wounds, he will give you a divine exchange. He will exchange beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, praise instead of despair. When you exchange something, you give them something and in return they give you something of equal or lesser value. So when you exchange with God, you give him your pain, he responds by giving you his joy. Remember perfect love cast out fear according to I John 4:18. So if perfect love cast out fear, it also cast out self-sabotage that is rooted in fear. Finally, I want to tell you about Gideon. Gideon was the son of Joash, from the Abiezrite clan in the tribe of Manasseh. The people of Israel had rebelled against God. God had warned them prior that if they rebelled, he would hand them over to their enemy. The Midianites were the enemy. They had the people of Israel in hiding. They would do things like take all their crops, livestock and anything used for economy, so the people of Israel were left hungry. Gideon was in the winepress in hiding pressing wheat. Gideon, is considered weak, fearful and a coward. The angel of the Lord brings him a message. He begins the message by saying, “Gideon you mighty man of valor.” Valor means great courage in the face of danger, especially in battle. The point is how you see yourself and how God sees you is not the same. Gideon has this discourse with the angel of the Lord. He finally agrees to the assignment. During the discussion Gideon had concerns about his strength to do the job. In Judges 6:14 God responds by saying, “Go in the strength you have and rescue Israel from the Midianites, I am sending you.” The point is God sees you as a mighty man or woman of valor. You already have the strength and ability you need to move forward into the assignment. Don’t let self sabotage cause you to move from a place God has placed you. You are already mighty and you have the victory. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Naysayers
How to deal with critics, opposers and unbelievers. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert I was having a conversation with a young lady the other day. She was discouraged because she has a goal that she longs for and is working towards. Yet another person is constantly telling her that she can’t do it. I told her that someone’s opinion of her doesn’t matter, and the best revenge is success. That led me to think about a time I was in her shoes. I remember the pain of someone telling me what I couldn’t do and how hurt I was. There are people in life who live their life seeing limitations and because they are limited, they think you should be limited to. I’ll tell you about a moment in my story. Over twenty years ago, I was a senior in college and was in the process of applying to graduate school. As a part of my entrance criteria I had to get letters of recommendation from my professors. I decided to ask my professor we will call her Dr. H for a letter of recommendation. I also had experienced a discouraging comment from my internship supervisor. My internship supervisor told me I was too quiet, and my personality would not fit into the human services field. I brought this to my professor’s attention because she was the head over the internship department. Before I could ask her about my letter of recommendation, she explained to me that she also thought my quiet and calm personality was not a good fit to be in the human services field. She basically implied I was too quiet and needed to consider another career path. Not the most helpful thing to tell someone who is applying to graduate school and in her senior year. That devastated me. I thought my internship supervisor was out of line and I went to my professor for intervention. Imagine the pain as I went home and cried. What was so wrong with being quiet or discerning? The point is a critic can devastate your soul and cause you to question what God has called you to. Don’t be surprised if critics come in packs. By the way I did get accepted into graduate school. I was so hurt and afraid of rejection I didn’t ask any of my other professors for letters of recommendation because I didn’t want to hear another put down. That was over 20 years ago, I have been in the same field they told me I wasn’t cut out for. Ironically it is my calm personality and quiet nature that has been one of the biggest assets in my career. I am not a pushover and have never been by any means. My authentic self has been employed in inpatient hospitals, crisis centers, community mental health centers and now my own private practice. My clients have always complimented me on how calm and soothing my personality is. I actively listen to their hurts and try to respond as best I can. What I have learned is that before people want advice, they want to be heard. What someone else thought I wasn’t fit for, ended up being the very thing I get complimented about regularly. The point is on your journey to success and fulfilling your dream will come across naysayers, critics, and unbelievers. They won’t believe in you or your dream. You have a responsibility to push forward. I am telling you like I told that young lady the other day. Someone will always have an opinion about you based upon who they think you are. It’s not what they say about you that matters it’s what you know about you that matters most. Today we will discuss how to deal with naysayers, critics, opposers and unbelievers. Naysayers are persons who criticize, object, or opposes something. Don’t get me wrong I am not against positive critique that is about teaching or training someone. I am against the critic that is baseless and meant to discourage you from pursuing your passion. A critic is a person who expresses an unfavorable opinion. A unbeliever is someone without faith or driven by fear. They don’t believe in your dreams and feel as though you shouldn’t believe in your dreams either. To give you a Biblical perspective we are going to review the journey of Nehemiah. I am not going to post the entire text. I will reference the scripture and I encourage you to review it on your own. The back story is Nehemiah has decided to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem and was given the full support and permission by the king to take a leave of absence to complete the work. I want you to put yourself in the life of Nehemiah to see parallels to your life. Just like Nehemiah you have a dream, a vision, a business, something you are building. Like Nehemiah you will come across critics, opposers and unbelievers. Nehemiah’s haters came in the form of Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem. These are individuals who opposed Nehemiah’s work, even though it has nothing to do with them. Remember your critics are in the business of minding your business instead of their own. They are really motivated by the spirit of jealousy and envy. Reference Nehemiah 2:19 The first thing your critics, opposers and unbelievers do is to scoff and be contemptuous. Scoff means to openly express a feeling of deep hatred and disapproval. To be contemptuous means to have a feeling of deep hatred, disapproval. This is exactly what Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem did. They are stuck and secretly despise that you are moving forward. Everyone is not going to support your dream, you have a choice to stay stuck with them or keep moving forward. I suggest you keep moving forward. The next thing that Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem did was bring false accusations. In Nehemiah’s case they accused him of doing something unethical and illegal. They suggested that he had stolen and that he had not gotten permission from the king to move forward when in fact he did. This is when your critics despise your moving forward, so they use accusations to distract your efforts. Scripture tells us that Nehemiah’s enemies became very angry when they learned that he was moving onward even with their best efforts to stop him. They represent the people who are angry that you keep being persistent despite their lies, rumors and deceit. Like Nehemiah you must keep moving forward. Reference Nehemiah 4:3 Nehemiah’s haters began to minimize his efforts. They said, “Your wall is going to fall, and collapse if a fox walks on it.” It implies that the wall would not be strong enough and they were not skilled enough to be able to handle such a massive project. Have you ever had anyone tell you or imply that your vision is too great for you? You’re not smart enough, your personality doesn’t fit the task ahead. Such was Nehemiah’s case. They are like Nehemiah’s haters they want to discourage you; they want to get in your head and tell you what you can’t accomplish. Like Nehemiah you know where this is going. Keep moving forward. Reference 4:4 It states that Nehemiah prayed, and he kept moving forward. Never allow anyone to get in your head and cause you to give up. He persisted. Ironically Nehemiah’s haters were very persistent themselves, they gathered more enemies to come against him. Ironically these were enemies who previously didn’t like each other. Yet they are unifying to come against Nehemiah’s and the people of Israel’s efforts. Nehemiah is quoted saying, “But we prayed and guarded ourselves and around the city.” And you know the drill they kept moving forward. You must guard your heart and do the same. When the people working on the wall with him learned about the threats against them, they started being discouraged and afraid. He said, “Don’t be afraid, remember the Lord.” Nehemiah never stopped. Remember what God said in Romans 8:31 Romans 8:31 New King James Version 31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Nehemiah understood that it wasn’t in his or the people of Israel’s strength alone that they were building, it was God who was doing the work through them and would also fight for them. And his enemies stilled persisted in chapter six they kept plotting. In verse 9 Nehemiah’s said, “they are trying to intimidate us, discourage us and get us to stop the work, but we continued with greater determination.” And that is just what they did. Their enemies continued. They presented them with false documents, false prophets, and lies. Yet Nehemiah persisted and eventually they finished what they started. The point is Nehemiah’s persistence as a leader despite great opposition is a great example for us today. Maybe your haters won’t be as persistent as Nehemiah’s, however some of you will have individuals who are more persistent. Look at his example to gain strength. You will always have people who are driven by their own selfish motives, jealousy, envy and greed. Like Nehemiah don’t allow discouragement to set in and cause you to give up. Galatians 6:9 New King James Version9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. When God is for you, even with their best efforts they won’t be able to stop you. Man’s opinion doesn’t stop God. God will finish what he started in you. Philippians 1:6 New King James Version6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; The New Living Translation reads, “he will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” My only advice to you is let Nehemiah’s testimony be your lifeline. You want your testimony to be, despite all the obstacles she or he faced, they kept going. You will get there, it won’t be easy, it will be worth it. Don’t give up. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Dream Killers and Vision Stealers: What stops you from manifesting success and how to breakthrough.12/24/2021 Dream Killers and Vision Stealers What stops you from manifesting success and how to breakthrough. © Dr. Samaria M Colbert 2021 The road to success is never a straight line. The road is full of ups, downs, hurts, pains, joys, and lessons. Working towards your goal is never easy but it is worth it. There is an old gospel song by Luther Barnes, entitled, “I am still holding on.” One lyric states, “there were many who started out with me, but now they’re all gone astray. But I am still holding on.” I don’t know what caused the writer to compose those lyrics, however they are true to life. Everyone can shout and praise when they hear what God has instore for them. However, many won’t get to the promise God has called them to. This is why scripture says many are called, few are chosen. Many are called, but it is when you endure the process of preparation that qualifies the chosen. We need to consider what stops individuals from operating in their God given purpose and seeing kingdom success. 1. You Self-doubt, self-sabotage, and an overall unhealthy view of yourself will stop you from manifesting success. You will never go beyond the view you have of yourself. Philippians 4:13 New King James Version 13 I can do all things through [a]Christ who strengthens me. If God says you can do all things and you are saying, “I can’t” you won’t. 2.Not letting go of the past. Past failures, mistakes, dead relationships all stop us from manifesting success. Look at what Jesus said to those who wanted to follow Jesus while going backward. Luke 9:59-62 New Living Translation 59 He said to another person, “Come, follow me.” The man agreed, but he said, “Lord, first let me return home and bury my father.” 60 But Jesus told him, “Let the spiritually dead bury their own dead![a] Your duty is to go and preach about the Kingdom of God.” 61 Another said, “Yes, Lord, I will follow you, but first let me say good-bye to my family.” 62 But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” It may sound harsh, and I am certainly not saying you can’t attend a funeral. The analogy of the scripture was suggesting you keep going back to a dead relationship. You’ll never move forward looking back. There are some people, some places, somethings you must leave in the past in order to move forward. Philippians 3:13-14 New Living Translation 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,[a] but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. 3. Being double minded. To be double minded means to not be fully committed to the goal. One minute you are full of zeal and determination the other minute your uncertain of what your supposed to do. James 1:7-8 New King James Version7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. 4. Fear Fear goes back to having an unhealthy view of yourself. Nonetheless, remember fear always wants to drive a wedge between what God wants for us to do. You don’t get brownie points, or sympathy success by being afraid. You get nothing. If you do nothing, you will get nothing. Being nice and scared doesn’t get you to the promises of God Matthew 25:14-30 Living Bible 14 “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going into another country, who called together his servants and loaned them money to invest for him while he was gone. 15 “He gave $5,000 to one, $2,000 to another, and $1,000 to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities—and then left on his trip. 16 The man who received the $5,000 began immediately to buy and sell with it and soon earned another $5,000. 17 The man with $2,000 went right to work, too, and earned another $2,000. 18 “But the man who received the $1,000 dug a hole in the ground and hid the money for safekeeping. 19 “After a long time their master returned from his trip and called them to him to account for his money. 20 The man to whom he had entrusted the $5,000 brought him $10,000. 21 “His master praised him for good work. ‘You have been faithful in handling this small amount,’ he told him, ‘so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Begin the joyous tasks I have assigned to you.’ 22 “Next came the man who had received the $2,000, with the report, ‘Sir, you gave me $2,000 to use, and I have doubled it.’ 23 “‘Good work,’ his master said. ‘You are a good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over this small amount, so now I will give you much more.’ 24-25 “Then the man with the $1,000 came and said, ‘Sir, I knew you were a hard man, and I was afraid you would rob me of what I earned,[a] so I hid your money in the earth and here it is!’ 26 “But his master replied, ‘Wicked man! Lazy slave! Since you knew I would demand your profit, 27 you should at least have put my money into the bank so I could have some interest. 28 Take the money from this man and give it to the man with the $10,000. 29 For the man who uses well what he is given shall be given more, and he shall have abundance. But from the man who is unfaithful, even what little responsibility he has shall be taken from him. 30 And throw the useless servant out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ Look at the principles in the text found in Matthew. Remember when you are faithful over a few things God will then increase you to many. Another translation reads, “you have been faithful over a few things I will make you ruler over cities.” When you produce and are faithful, you then are given more. However, notice the excuse of the wicked servant. What made him wicked was that he was afraid, and he did nothing but hide. Many Christians are in this same state. They think because they are not committing overt sin, they are doing fine. If you are doing nothing, you are still considered wicked and lazy. You don’t get brownie points because you’re a good sinless Christian. Lazy fearful Christians don’t walk into success. 5. Failure to prepare. Remember time, chance and opportunity happen to us all. It is the ones who are prepared that will walk into doors of opportunity. When doors open you don’t want to be somewhere in the wrong place trying to get prepared when you should have been prepared all along. Reference Matthew 25:1-12 Matthew 25:1-12 New Living Translation 25 “Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten bridesmaids[a] who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 The five who were foolish didn’t take enough olive oil for their lamps, 4 but the other five were wise enough to take along extra oil. 5 When the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. 6 “At midnight they were roused by the shout, ‘Look, the bridegroom is coming! Come out and meet him!’ 7 “All the bridesmaids got up and prepared their lamps. 8 Then the five foolish ones asked the others, ‘Please give us some of your oil because our lamps are going out.’ 9 “But the others replied, ‘We don’t have enough for all of us. Go to a shop and buy some for yourselves.’ 10 “But while they were gone to buy oil, the bridegroom came. Then those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was locked. 11 Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, ‘Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!’ 12 “But he called back, ‘Believe me, I don’t know you!’ 6. Not being planted in the right soil. 7. Allowing persecution and affliction to discourage you then walk away from your vision. 8. Worries of life that you allow to distract you. 9. Deceitfulness of riches. You are easily lured away or distracted because you see some guru with a wad of money and fancy car, and you run to that. If you had stuck with the plan God gave you, you would have received that and much more. These are people who go from one business to the next chasing money, rather than being obedient to God. If you operate in purpose money will come. 10. The desire for things that don’t produce fruit. Mark 4:13-20 New Living Translation 13 Then Jesus said to them, “If you can’t understand the meaning of this parable, how will you understand all the other parables? 14 The farmer plants seed by taking God’s word to others. 15 The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message, only to have Satan come at once and take it away. 16 The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. 17 But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word. 18 The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God’s word, 19 but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced. 20 And the seed that fell on good soil represents those who hear and accept God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!” I don’t know about you, but I want to be a producer. We must be planted in the correct soil. 11. Having no faith or having faith with no concerted effort. Remember having faith alone is not going to get you to success. You must do something. Hebrews 11:6 New Living Translation 6 And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. James 2:26 New King James Version 26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. Hebrews 11:1 New King James Version 11 Now faith is the [a]substance of things hoped for, the [b]evidence of things not seen. 12. Finally, you must watch who has your ear. Listening to wrong information will cause you to be stuck, and regress. Galatians 3:1 New King James Version 3 O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you… Bewitched means to entice, trick or lure in a deceptive way. Another translation reads, who beguiled you. Notice the question ask “who?” In the beginning this was the strategy of Lucifer. God asked Adam and Eve Genesis 3:11 New King James Version 11 And He said, “Who told you that you were naked?.... Remember deception comes through conversation. Watch who has influence and has your ear. What should you do? Take an inventory of where you went wrong. Notice I didn’t say who did you wrong. I didn’t say who didn’t help you. You must get away from that victim mentality that prevents you from taking responsibility for yourself. When you are working towards something God will send people to come alongside you. Nonetheless, no one is going to help you build from nothing. Take responsibility. Determine to begin again. Repent for allowing distractions to deter you. Ask God for clear instructions then write the vision down. Habakkuk 2:2 New King James Version The Just Live by Faith 2 Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, Set SMART goals and determine to implement them SMART goals · Specific · Measurable (give yourself deadlines) · Attainable · Relevant · Time specific Make 2022 your year of moving forward and no longer staying stuck. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Imposter Syndrome
A Faith Based Intervention © Dr. Samaria M Colbert Imposter syndrome is a strong feeling of inferiority despite proven success. It is the underlying belief that you don’t deserve what you have accomplished, despite your hard work. It is the internal belief that you are incompetent and will eventually be found out. It is the feeling of low self-worth, despite your hard work. Imagine all the blood, sweat, and tears you have gone through to get to where you are only to struggle with the feeling that you simply aren’t good enough or undeserving. As in many things I write about there is an underlying spiritual issue as it relates to imposter syndrome. Anything that attempts to remove you from your purpose and have you question the place that God has put you is really the voice of the accuser. His agenda is to stop you from manifesting the promises of God through your chosen profession, ministry, and vocation. The good news is getting new information starts you on the course of believing what God has said and done through you is true and will continue to be. You are not successful by accident or happenstance. You are favored of God, it doesn’t mean it came easy but it did come. You don’t have to relinquish your promise because you don’t believe you belong. Philippians 1:6 New King James Version 6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; Let’s start by talking about signs you struggle with imposter syndrome.
How to get free? You must acknowledge your pain before the father. Remember God won’t heal you from what you don’t acknowledge. Acknowledgement puts you on the path to uprooting this false belief and then healing so you can walk in confidence. Identify where the false belief began. Were you bullied? What happened? What was the event or series of events that taught you subconsciously you were not enough? Identify that false belief. Then compare what you thought with what the word of God has to say about you. You’re going to have to make a habit of meditating on scriptures that will affirm yourself worth. Your transformation will come but not overnight. Joshua 1:7 New Living Translation7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Remember ultimately God is the one who makes you successful, not your own self efforts. Once you put your hope and faith in God, he responds by making you successful. Isaiah 40:29 New Living Translation29 He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Remember when you acknowledge your weakness before the father, he will respond by giving you strength. Deuteronomy 8:18 New Living Translation 18 Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath. Psalm 75:6-7 King James Version6 For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. 7 But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another. Hopefully you are seeing a recurring theme in Deuteronomy and Psalm, when our dependency is on God, he is the one that exalts us. The point is that imposter syndrome wants us to focus on ourselves but focus on God and you’ll be successful to others and within yourself. God Bless © Dr. Samaria M Colbert Breaking Free From Codependency © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic that is rooted in the spirit of power, control, and manipulation. In Christian circles we call codependency an unhealthy soul tie. Codependency is a form of enmeshment where individuals expected to think, feel, act and grow in the same way to their own detriment. In the codependent relationship an individuals’ thoughts, ideas, actions, behaviors, and opinions are subject to the domination of another person. The other person is controlling, manipulative and isolative. When one is in a codependent relationship, they relinquish their right to individual autonomy to the control of an abuser. Remember abuse doesn’t have to be physical, it can also be emotional or psychological as well. Codependency can be found in interpersonal relationships, romantic relationships, parental relationships including family. Codependency is never healthy and based upon manipulation. Healthy relationships are interdependent, while codependent relationships are not. In interdependent relationships your individuality is honored and respected, while seeing the value in relationship to others. When you’re in an interdependent relationship you still grow as an individual, while recognizing the unique goals, needs, and opinions of another. You don’t need to lose yourself to be in a relationship. Let’s look at what the Bible says about interdependent relationships. Proverbs 27:17 New Living Translation 17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. In interdependent relationships you are challenged to be the better version of you, they don’t try to control you. 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 New Living Translation One Body with Many Parts 12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,[a] some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.[b] 14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? 18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” 22 In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. 23 And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, 24 while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. 25 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. 27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. The scripture in first Corinthians indicates healthy interdependent relationships. We recognize our differences, while recognizing we are a part of one body, one spirit. We are still unique and the same. We recognize our different positions within the body of Christ, but one person is not less than or more than the other. Different is not deficient, it’s just different. Codependent relationships are different in that they consider your individuality bad or a sin. In interdependent relationships we are placed within the body where God has assigned us, not by a controlling manipulative family member. Interdependent relationships are based upon mutual honor and respect. Signs you are in a codependent relationship Your unique individuality is frowned upon, you feel stuck and stagnant. You are put in a specific role within the family, that a controlling person benefits from. You don’t really benefit from the role you were placed in. I is considered a dirty word within your relationship. Control, manipulation is a reoccurring theme within your relationship. Unhealthy behaviors are the norm, healthy behaviors are frowned upon. For example, if you grew up in the home where everyone drinks alcohol, then you decide to get sober, you may be mistreated because of your newfound sobriety. Generational curses and intergenerational traumas are found within your family dynamic. Repeated unhealthy cycles. You feel as if you don’t have a sense of self, and that you can’t get free. You feel as if your souls are intertwined. You suffer with spiritual stockholm syndrome. That means you recognize you are being held captive, and bound in your mind by your abuser, but you have feelings of trust and affection towards your capture. You can pinpoint who the controller or controllers are within your family. You have a long-standing pattern of passivity. My pastor calls this passive righteousness. It means you are enabling behaviors, but because you are not actually doing the abuse, you feel as though you are acting in righteousness. This is not true. If you are in a getaway car while a store is being robbed, you still go to jail with the other assailants because you were in the car. Enabling someone else’s behavior means you secretly are agreeing to it and will suffer the same consequences as if you were the one committing the crime. You lack a sense of self. If you really think about it, you may feel like you don’t know who you are anymore since getting into that relationship Parentification of adults. This is when grown adults are parenting grown adults. Meaning you are clothing, feeding, and taking care of well abled adults. Or it can be the other way around, you are the adult child, who is feeding, clothing, and taking care of well abled parents. This is not referring to when you are taking care of aging or ailing family members. You can identify your role within the unhealthy family roles. You know in your heart your relationship with your family feels like a burden, it is damaging to you to be in their presence, and it feels like bondage. How to get free 1. Recognize that there is a problem. Often families can stay stuck in the place of denial for generations. Remember you will never get free from what you don’t acknowledge. There is a problem, hiding it from yourself won’t bring you to healing. 2. Depending on your identified role, you must determine what is in your responsibility and what is not. For example, if you have had the role of taking care of adults that is not your responsibility, what is your responsibility is taking care of yourself and your children. 3. Remember it’s going to be a process not an overnight journey. You’re in the process of rewiring your brain, to think, act and behave differently. There are steps to change. Precontemplation- You think about it every now and again but make no intention of changing. Often times we stay stuck in familiarity because what is familiar is our norm and change provokes fear of the unknown. Contemplation- You become more aware of the problem and how it is negatively affecting you. You think about it, but you haven’t made the full commitment to change. Preparation- You have determined that it’s a problem, you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. You have now determined to make a change. Action: You now are making actions steps to make the change. Your change includes setting clear and specific healthy boundaries. Remember all healthy boundaries have healthy relationships. All unhealthy relationships, unhealthy boundaries or lack of boundaries are somewhere in the midst. Maintenance-sustained changed, and behavior. Relapse-you may go back repeatedly into old behaviors, patterns before you finally make lasting changes. As a warning at this point you may be blacklisted, shunned, even become the black sheep of the family for making a change. Reference my blog The Black Sheep. However, at this point you have had glimpses of peace and have decided that your peace is worth the cost. Finally, what are your action steps. Remember actions steps don’t have to be giant leaps or steps, rather baby steps. Start with a commitment to renew your mind. You may not have the strength to leave right away but you can start by putting new information in your mind, once your mind starts changing your body will follow. Romans 12:2 but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Commit to flooding your mind with information, as you do this you are giving your heart muscle supernatural strength. Commit to meditating on scriptures, about God’s deliverance. Read more books that specifically speak to your situation, this will also help you to learn you and why you do what you do. I recommend the book: Boundaries Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Codependent No More. YouTube messages from other Youtubers about codependency. Determine the life you want to live, set boundaries, set smart goals and work towards them. Eventually you will get stronger to be able to remove yourself from the situation. Ephesians 6:12 King James Version 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Remember it’s a spiritual a battle, but God has giving you what you need to fight. He also fights for you. Exodus 14:14 New King James Version 14 The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold[a] your peace.” Determine to not give up. Your worth the fight. Your peace is worth it. Remember God came to set you free from everything that holds you bound. Receive his freedom in Jesus’ name. © 2021 Dr. Samaria M Colbert |